Gaslighting, Narcissism, and Other Teen Buzzwords: A Therapist's Guide for Parents | Stacy Schaffer

Teens today live at the intersection of real mental health risks and viral misused language like gaslighting, narcissism, and DID. On this episode of The Brainy Moms podcast, Dr. Amy sat down with children’s therapist Stacy Schaffer to unpack how parents can support mental health without turning every rough patch into a diagnosis. Stacy shares the story behind her new book and the core idea that guides her work: integrate tough histories into practical, present-day tools so kids feel seen, safe, and capable.We dig into the messy middle of modern childhood—where TikTok trends meet group-chat drama and where grooming, exclusion, and “subtle” cruelty often fly under the bullying radar. Stacy offers concrete steps for delaying social platforms, keeping an open pulse on online connections, and having frank, age-appropriate talks about consent, safety, and the law. We also explore why framing therapy as a gift changes everything, and how to invite teens into the process so they feel respected rather than “sent.”A big theme is language. Words like trauma, gaslighting, narcissist, and DID carry weight and meaning; when they get stretched to cover discomfort or disagreement, everyone loses clarity. Stacy walks us through what those terms actually mean, when they apply, and how to teach kids a simple 1–10 scale that builds perspective without dismissing pain. We also clarify dissociation versus dissociative identity disorder and offer scripts that keep compassion high while holding responsibility steady: “You’re in charge of all your parts.”Along the way, we talk about modeling healthy conflict at home, building emotion regulation, and helping kids collect “data” from hard moments they survived. If you’ve wondered how to respond when your teen throws out a buzzword, how to know when it’s time for counseling, or how to keep kids safer online, this conversation delivers calm, clear guidance you can use today.About Stacy SchafferStacy Schaffer is a Licensed Professional Counselor with over twenty years of experience helping children, teens, and young adults navigate emotional and behavioral challenges. Based in Arvada, Colorado, she is the founder and director of Stacy Schaffer Counseling and specializes in both grief therapy and Synergetic Play Therapy. Her extensive training includes a Master's Degree in Professional Counseling from Ottawa University, a Graduate Diploma in Christian Counseling from Phoenix Seminary, and certifications in Synergetic Play Therapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). She is a proud member of both the National Association of Play Therapy and the Colorado Association for Play Therapy. She’s the author of the book, With Love from a Children's Therapist about lessons she’s learned from her practice.About UsThe Brainy Moms is a parenting podcast hosted by cognitive psychologist Dr. Amy Moore. Dr. Amy and her co-hosts have conversations with experts in parenting, child development, education, psychology, mental health, and neuroscience. Listeners leave with tips and advice for helping moms and kids thrive in life, learning, and relationships. If you love us, add us to your playlist!ABOUT US:The Brainy Moms is a parenting podcast hosted by cognitive psychologist Dr. Amy Moore and Sandy Zamalis. Dr. Amy and Sandy have conversations with experts in parenting, child development, education, homeschooling, psychology, mental health, and neuroscience. Listeners leave with tips and advice for helping parents and kids thrive. If you love us, add us to your playlist and follow us on social media! CONNECT WITH US:Website: www.TheBrainyMoms.com Email: [email protected] Social Media: @TheBrainyMomsSubscribe to our free monthly newsletterVisit our sponsor's website: www.LearningRx.com