Gaslighting: When He Makes You the Problem

Send us Fan Mail"Gaslighting" was Merriam-Webster's word of the year in 2022, after searches for the term increased 1,740 percent. But as it became a buzzword, applied to everything from political disagreements to arguments between coworkers, something important got lost. The word stopped describing the specific, sustained, psychologically devastating thing that actually happens when someone you love uses your own mind against you. This episode gives it back. Lisa of the Pattern Breakers Collective walks through what gaslighting actually is (the clinical definition, not the diluted internet version), how it's different from ordinary defensiveness, the most common phrases gaslighters use and exactly what each one is designed to do, why intelligent self-aware women are often the most susceptible, how the body signals what the mind is being argued out of, why narcissistic personalities are master gaslighters, and five concrete tools for recognizing and combating it. If you have ever ended a conversation and wondered why you were apologizing,  this episode is for you.