EPISODE · Aug 13, 2026 · 1H
Gay Trauma, Gay Healing: Dan Werner on Breaking the Patterns We Carry EP 784
from Talk About Gay Sex TAGSPODCAST · host Stephen V.Rodriguez
In this episode: What do we actually mean when we talk about gay trauma? The lasting effects of growing up feeling different or unsafe Shame, rejection, bullying, and the closet How trauma can influence sex, dating, intimacy, and attachment Seeking validation through sex, attention, and relationships Recognizing survival behaviors we've carried into adulthood Why healing doesn't mean becoming less sexual or less adventurous Creating healthier connections without judging the choices that got us here Dan Werner's work helping gay men understand and move through trauma A thoughtful, revealing conversation about where our patterns come from—and what becomes possible when we finally understand them. Hot Topics and Advice! Follow Steve V's new Substack and get 20% Off now through the end of August: Hot Gay Summer: https://tagspodcast.substack.com/2d41ff56 Follow our Special Guest Dan Werner on IG: @dwerner3 Follow Stevie on IG: @iam_stevev Follow Kodi on IG: @mistahmaurice Rate and Review us! Wanna drop a weekly or one time tip to TAGSPODCAST - Show your love for the show and support TAGS! Visit our website: tagspodcast.com Needs some advice for a sex or relationship conundrum? Ask TAGS! DM US ON IG or https://www.talkaboutgaysex.com/contact Follow Of a Certain Age on IG: @ofacertainagepod Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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What this episode covers
Featuring special guest Dan Werner What happens when the things we learned to survive as gay men follow us into adulthood—into our relationships, our sex lives, our self-esteem, and the ways we connect with other men? This week on Talk About Gay Sex, Host Steve V and Co-host Kodi Maurice Doggette are joined by Dan Werner for a deeper conversation about gay trauma and the emotional patterns many queer men carry long after coming out. We explore how experiences like shame, rejection, bullying, hiding our sexuality, feeling different, and learning to seek validation can continue to shape us—even when we think we've moved beyond them. Dan shares insights from his work around trauma, healing, and understanding the behaviors we develop to protect ourselves. The conversation also looks at how unresolved wounds can show up in dating, intimacy, sex, attachment, body image, relationships, and the search for connection—and why recognizing those patterns doesn't mean eliminating desire or rewriting our past. It can mean finally understanding ourselves with a little more clarity. Plus, Steve and Kodi bring their own experiences to the discussion: the survival mechanisms we developed as younger gay men, the ways they've served us, and the moment when those same defenses may stop serving the lives we want today.
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Gay Trauma, Gay Healing: Dan Werner on Breaking the Patterns We Carry EP 784
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