Genesis 32: Lavan Everything Behind

After his treaty with Yaacov, Lavan receives a postscript at the beginning of chapter 32:וַיַּשְׁכֵּם לָבָן בַּבֹּקֶר וַיְנַשֵּׁק לְבָנָיו וְלִבְנוֹתָיו וַיְבָרֶךְ אֹתָם וַיֵּלֶךְ וַיָּשָׁב לָבָן לִמְקֹמוֹ׃“Early in the morning, Laban kissed his sons and daughters and bade them good-by; then Laban left on his journey homeward.” (Bereishit 32:1)Why does the Torah give Lavan this final passage? The story could have ended with the truce, and Yaacov going on his way. Perhaps the Torah is giving Lavan his due, and in doing so Lavan’s true motivation is revealed.Remember, that Lavan was a young man when he first appears in chapter 24. In one quick day, Lavan loses his sister to a strange servant of a cousin he never met. Lavan never sees Rivka again. Then, years later, his nephew shows up unannounced and wishes to marry his daughter. This time, Lavan is prepared. He keeps Yaacov around—agreeing to a seven-year plan proposed by Yaacov. Then, when his oldest daughter is about to suffer utter humiliation, he makes a last-minute swap to protect her. Fearing his nephew will leave, he offers Rachel in return for another seven years of staying around. He does, however, allow Yaacov to marry her right away.After the seven years, Yaacov approaches Lavan with intent to leave. Once again, with his family set to abandon him, Lavan agrees to another delay. This time he allows Yaacov to trick him out of his entire flock. Over the grumblings of his sons, Lavan is willing to wait multiple fertility cycles—losing his flock in the process. Why? Time. The more he allows Yaacov to take advantage of him, the longer his family stays intact.But now this obsession with keeping his family together alienates them all. His sons grumble and his two daughters tell Yaacov that they have nothing left in Haran. This is why Yaacov notices that Lavan is acting differently than when they first met—including when Lavan switched his brides:וַיַּרְא יַעֲקֹב אֶת פְּנֵי לָבָן וְהִנֵּה אֵינֶנּוּ עִמּוֹ כִּתְמוֹל שִׁלְשׁוֹם׃“And Jacob saw Laban’s face, and behold, it was not toward him as before.” (Bereishit 31:2)Now Lavan’s obsession has become self-destructive. When Yaacov slips away and Lavan follows, God intervenes telling Lavan enough is enough. He can no longer stand in the way of Yaacov’s journey:הִשָּׁמֶר לְךָ דַּבֵּר עִם־יַעֲקֹב מִטּוֹב עַד־רָע׃“Beware of attempting anything with Jacob, good or bad.” (Bereishit 31:24)Lavan confronts Yaacov:הַבָּנוֹת בְּנֹתַי וְהַבָּנִים בָּנַי וְהַצֹּאן צֹאנִי וְכֹל אֲשֶׁר־אַתָּה רֹאֶה לִי הוּא וּלְבָנֹתַי מָה אֶעֱשֶׂה לָאֵלֶּה הַיּוֹם אוֹ לִבְנֵיהֶן אֲשֶׁר יָלָדוּ׃“The daughters are my daughters, the children are my children, and the flocks are my flocks; all that you see is mine. Yet what can I do today about these daughters of mine, or about the children they have borne?” (Bereishit 31:43)Like Lavan’s sister beforehand, Yaacov wants to leave without a proper goodbye. In a last-ditch effort, Lavan tries to delay them because of his idols. But, when he must choose between embarrassing his daughter, Rachel, and delaying the departure, he chooses to respect her wishes.Finally, Lavan makes Yaacov swear that he will not harm his daughters or take other wives:אִם־תְּעַנֶּה אֶת־בְּנֹתַי וְאִם־תִּקַּח נָשִׁים עַל־בְּנֹתַי אֵין אִישׁ עִמָּנוּ רְאֵה אֱלהִים עֵד בֵּינִי וּבֵינֶךָ׃“If you ill-treat my daughters or take other wives besides my daughters—though no one else be about, remember, it is God who will be witness between you and me.” (Bereishit 31:50)Lavan’s final wish is that they be protected. His final act in Tanach is to kiss his family and go “to his place”:וַיֵּלֶךְ וַיָּשָׁב לָבָן לִמְקֹמוֹ׃“Then Laban left on his journey homeward.” (Bereishit 32:1)The last time we saw that phrase it was Avraham leaving “to his place” after arguing with God over Sodom. Then, Avraham finally separated from his nephew. Here too, Lavan must put aside his personal feelings and allow Yaacov to move on his journey.