Get Comfortable With Discomfort

A counselor at rehab said, “Get comfortable being uncomfortable.” This line has stuck with me all those years since. Comfort, or more aptly, the avoidance of discomfort, is what kept me caged throughout most of my twenties. It still affects me today. The difference now is I don’t run from discomfort—I use it. Very little growth occurs inside my comfort zone. Growth happens in pain, uncertainty, and effort. Going where you do not want to go but where you know you need to go. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. My anxiety and inner critic put avoidance as my default setting. I feared change and would do anything I could to maintain the status quo. Relegated risk to the back burner. Lived a life that was easy instead of doing something hard. I would build things up in my mind and be paralyzed to inaction. Anxiety accelerated. Potential squandered. I drank to forget. Drank to feel different. Dulled the senses with weed. Stimulated with nicotine. Stumbling through life. The uncertainty of stepping outside, into the great unknown, scared me half to death. But staying put was easier. And so I coasted. Held myself back, until it all came crashing down. Life addicted to drugs and alcohol was comfortable in its own twisted way. Predictable in that I would escape my thoughts and feelings by numbing them into oblivion. Comforting because I knew I would always have an avenue to forget who I was by becoming someone else. An altered state of mind so I did not have to look in the mirror and face who I had become. I was my own worst enemy and my number one critic. But I did nothing to change my behavior and lived in a prison of my own making. The uncomfortable choice was admitting I needed help. That I couldn’t go on living like that. I had to give up who I was to embrace who I could become. Stepping into rehab was the most uncomfortable thing I had ever done. It was something I knew I had to do but put it off for far too long. Walking through those doors and working on myself for 40 days was a transformative, life trajectory altering experience. It was where my old self died and growth finally began. We fear change. We cling to what’s familiar and avoid anything different. Staying where we are because it is easier is the fastest way to living riddled with regret. Get outside of yourself to become the best version of yourself. Find the edge of your comfort zone and take one more step. Life went on and I found my way again. Got back on track. Proud of the work I had done and the progress I had made. But in some ways, I eventually relegated myself to a life of comfort. Seven years after leaving rehab, I was faced with another obstacle. Now with a wife, newborn, house, and career, I thought I had it all figured out. But I was stretched thin, and dealing with an untenable situation at work. I was living in a new version of comfortable misery. That of burnout, anxiety, overstimulation, and disconnection. These stressors resulted in a spate of panic attacks that nearly broke me. They forced me to step out of the cage yet again and recommit to an uncomfortable rebuilding process. I doubled down on early mornings and workouts before the sun rose. Meditated to calm the mind. Moved the body to ease the soul. Discipline drove me forward. Structure kept me afloat. I reengaged with my life, became present, and took back control by focusing on what I could actually control. Tackling what lay before me and not worrying about what was to come. Discomfort was the way forward to becoming the man my family needed. Being uncomfortable and doing more work on myself to find myself. Discomfort is a sign you’re on the right track and are doing something right. Here’s what I’ve learned along the way: * Comfort = stagnation, decay, frailty * Discomfort = learning, strength, growth * Chasing ease and convenience leads to fragility * Leaning into discomfort brings out resilience * Every meaningful shift in my life began with stepping into something uncomfortable * Growth happens in three places: uncertainty, effort, and pain Here’s how you can choose growth over comfort: * Do the thing you’re avoiding and don’t delay * Start small but be consistent * Sit in solitude instead of distraction * Write out what you want to achieve and cross it out upon completion * Trade dopamine for discipline * Seek struggle, not safety I’m not telling you to suffer constantly. I’m saying you can’t build a meaningful life while clinging to comfort like a security blanket. Comfort feels good — but it softens you if you never leave it. Every year since I got sober, I’ve done something that scared me and had a real chance of failure — marriage, fatherhood, writing this book — to name a few. None of it was easy. All of it changed me. I’m living this lesson in real time. Right now, I’m interviewing for a job that would move me to a new city, being a part from my family for a period of time, leaving what’s familiar, and stepping into a bigger arena. It scares the hell out of me. It’s uncomfortable in every way. But that’s exactly why I’m doing it. Because I know I’m built for more than staying safe in a job I’ve known for a decade now. And sometimes the only way to grow is to walk straight into the unknown and bet big on yourself. Go out and do things. Find your way. Don’t be afraid to fail. Learn from your mistakes and try again. We all fail. We don’t all grow. We’re living in a frictionless world that leaves us anxious, depressed, and mentally brittle. More “connected” than ever but more anxious, depressed, and fragile. Discipline, structure, and daily challenge are the antidotes to isolation, disconnection, and directionlessness. Embrace the daily chaos that arrives on your doorstep each day. Seek the stress that makes you stronger. Push yourself until it hurts or accept a life of mediocrity. Those who do what’s easy live a life that’s hard. My book Rewired and these pages are not about being perfect. They’re about choosing discomfort on purpose. About getting out of your own way and moving forward no matter what. Doing the thing that makes you feel uncomfortable is where life actually begins. Getting comfortable with discomfort has changed my life. And it’s the only reason I’m still here. Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Get full access to Rewired at rpshanahan.substack.com/subscribe