Get off the Drama Train - Crisis, Upheaval, and Parenting Gracefully through Toxic Transitions

Dr. Cindy navigates a difficult personal journey as her abusive ex prepares to move out of state and leave her alone with their daughter. She shares practical skills for meeting crisis and upheaval with self-compassion and how she is trying to parent as gracefully as possible through this toxic transition.“He is not leaving quietly. This week, he has managed to hook me by yanking our daughter’s heart around, discussing his departure plans, rehashing old conflicts and blaming me for his failure to make ends meet here, and promising that he’ll never leave her all in the same breath. She came back from her last visit with him angry and claiming to be “depressed,” and as a result, I’ve spiraled into my own habitual patterns of over-eating, ruminative thinking, and sleeplessness. Because he is a time thief, he is dragging out the long goodbye, spreading the heartache over months, keeping me prisoner, rather than just ripping off the bandaid the way I wish he would. Please, just go away and leave us alone.The pressure on me to make difficult decisions and keep myself calm, cool, and collected is a lot. So, I am doubling down on my mindfulness meditation practice this week, busting out field tested therapeutic and teaching tools from the vault, and doing everything I can to stay compassionate and kind, and to do the right thing, even when it’s also the hardest thing and it scares the hell out of me.So, in this week’s episode I took the opportunity to share the story of how I am leaning hard into my practice as all this is unfolding in my nervous system, and shining the light of awareness on what is arising, as a radical act of compassion. This allows me to then bring a spirit of curiosity and care to my experience, and to ask myself “how can I best care for myself, given what is here?” In applying the skills that I learned over many years of offering therapeutic coaching and teaching Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction and Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy, I am finding my way and doing the best I can to be a light in the darkness for my daughter and for myself.”