Getting Stoned with Satan: The Chronicle of Young Satan, Chapter 8 • The Devil According to Mark Twain

Satan is back in the woods — same spot as the first meeting — and the boys are thrilled, because life without him is genuinely dull. He offers to show them the history of the progress of the human race. They say yes. They should have said no.What follows is a panoramic vision of human civilization from Cain and Abel to the present: Cain killing Abel without remorse, the flood, Noah drunk on Ararat, Sodom and Gomorrah, Jael, the Hebraic wars, massacre after massacre, the whole machinery of history grinding forward. Satan's running commentary is mild, detached, and devastating. Animals don't do this. Angels don't do this. Only beings with the moral sense can choose wrong on purpose — and humans, he notes, have made extensive use of the option.Then things get unexpectedly beautiful: Satan produces goblets made of no material the boys can name, alive with color in constant motion, and pours something that can only be described as heavenly wine. Seppi glances at Satan and says, quietly, "We shall be there someday." Satan seems to be thinking of something else entirely and says nothing. The goblets rise into the sky and disappear.The chapter ends with Satan turning a murderous gamekeeper named Bart into stone — fly on his cheek and all — then walking back into Eseldorf disguised as Father Adolf while the village pelts him with rocks that bounce off. A coroner's jury subsequently argues at length about whether the fly on the statue was also subject to divine judgment. It takes twenty-two men and six oxen to haul the statue home. Eventually the family puts Bart on exhibition, grows rich, purchases nobility, and the statue winds up in the Pitti Palace in Florence as a Roman antique. Satan predicted all of this. He was right.The Devil's Details show page/archiveBanana for Scale Facebook GroupConnect with Kynan on Instagram or LetterboxdConnect with Lester on Facebook, Instagram, or X ---Learn more about supporting this podcast by becoming a member. It's just $5/month or $55/year. Visit our website to learn more.Check out the other podcasts in the Banana for Scale family of podcasts:Every Minute of Everything Everywhere All at OnceThe Exorcist Minute