Welcome. Where'd you get that recording of me? Welcome. Greetings, boys and ghouls.
That of course is my Italian accent because this is jaloween, our Halloween special, where we diverge from our already increasingly divergent programming. Our neurodivergent program. Oh, that would be, is that curved the bullet? No.
No. Divergent is shaleen woodly. Yeah, I think so. It's one of those YA kind of like sci-fi dystopian, you know, in the wake of the Hunger Games kind of books.
To be divergent. What's curved the bullet called? Wanted. Wanted.
That's for grown-ups only. Yeah, yeah. We can't have kids curbing the bullets. It would be anarchy.
That was like a, you know how like the CIA tried to kill Fidel Castro with like exploding cigars. Like they'll just try anything because they have unlimited resources. Yeah, those Akmie exploding cigars that they tried to kill Castro with. This was a government program to sort of like, not like, limit the damage, the human damage caused by mass shootings.
Yeah. They're like, well, if everyone's curving the bullets, they'll miss. Maybe we should teach them how to curve the bullets so they won't be able to. Yeah.
If we, if they're all trying to curve the bullet, they're all going to, yeah, because like we can't stop selling guns and ammunition to people. That's all the day. We'll just have them curve the bullet. Yeah.
Why don't we teach them what physics are before we start making laws here? Well, Rob. Yeah. Ciao.
Ciao, Ciao, Ciao, Ciao. Ciao, Ciao, Ciao, Ciao, Ciao, Ciao, Ciao, Ciao. Let me just do the whole episode in Italian. So before we started, I was trying, I had this like last minute idea and I actually thought I'd be able to pull it off except in classic fashion I was not able to.
Do want to start over. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. It's.
It's. It required pre-planning and effort. Okay. But I was trying to find a logic midi plugin for a theresminn so that our theme song could just be a theresminn.
be a theremin' doing, that's a moray. And I would have dropped some thunder claps and cats yowling, that kind of stuff. Classic smoothie sounds. Maybe a chimp whimpering like a puppy?
Oh no. How about that? How about it? That wasn't it.
There's no way that was a chimp sound. No. That was for sure, a Schnauzer. So we're talking phenomena.
Doo doo doo. How many times did you do that while watching this movie? Because I did it about every 15 minutes. Every time I pause.
Phenomena. Doo doo doo doo. Phenomena. And are we putting a moratorium on that for the rest of the episode?
Yeah, we can't keep doing that. A moratorium. Doo doo doo doo. I think if we tell ourselves, OK, we're not going to do that the whole episode, it will scale it back significantly.
But I'm sure it's still going to happen. Yes. Even more frustrating is the fact that the Italian title, like the true title, I guess, is Phenomena, which is even closer. I know.
Phenomena. Phenomena. It's hard not to do. It's hard not to do.
I had to sort of trick myself. I was like, actually, it's going to be Phenomena. That's the only way I'm getting through this. I think I'm a meaner.
Just throw some extra syllables in there. So we're talking Phenomena from 1985, written and directed by Dario Argento, starring Jennifer Connolly. I think she's like maybe 15-ish. She looks, oh, sorry, there's a guy yelling outside.
Nothing I can do about that. It's a free country, unfortunately, that's his right. No, that's freedom of speech. That's what it was made for, that guy.
Hold on. You're not getting a cut of a Patreon. That ought to stop him. Well, there you go.
People are always doing this. They're always driving. And the window up it. My voice is always going to give me a cut.
No, not a dime. You can't wedge your way into the Patreon episodes, right? But you the listener, Ken, you the listener can wedge your way into the Patreon episodes. By going to patreon.com.com.
That was a really good thing, he was not describing the tea pot and subscribing $4.5 a month. Oh, you're either cats fighting? Well, what was a- Jesus Christ, what do you live in a haunted house? You can see them!
I know, it's ridiculous. My god, can you too. All right, I think they've free- This truly is the spooky as an episode. My goodness.
I know. That was like a God-given segue. And, well, a rock-given segue. But I feel like I made the most of it.
And then my cats started fighting. KingmePod.com slash KingmePod. Yeah. Nope.
Not KingmePod.com slash KingmePod. Jesus. Patreon.com slash KingmePod. Oh, man.
Dan's been possessed by a very silly ghost. I guess so. I guess so. It's got to be Fatso from Casper.
Remember that? Remember the whole origin of where was Slimer? It was from sometimes they come back where there were three greasy ghosters? Yes.
And we were like, there should have been a fat one. There should have been one that was always eating. Yeah. It's an incomplete film.
Yeah. No ghosts in this one in this week. Hey, speaking of Slimer, though, look at this drink I'm drinking. Oh my god.
What is that? Just blended up hot dogs? What is that? That's ectoplasm.
It's green. Oh, you think I'm eating green hot dogs? Come on. What is that?
What do you got in there? It's mostly spinach. I'd rather not talk about it. I'll get into it.
Yeah. Is that your, uh, your AG1? You're athletic green. Yes.
Not a sponsor. Um, no, it's, it's creatine. It's all, no. It's not.
It's not. The idea of me taking creatine. I just can't, I just can't fathom it. Yeah.
It's, it wouldn't jive with my constitution. Right. It make me mean. Yeah.
Or mean it, mean and lean creatine. Um, I'd be, it's, this is not that kind of show. What kind of show? Fitness show?
Talk about fitness. No, you are a fitness journey right now. You've been going to the gym. It's true.
That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true.
A lot of, um, a lot of sort of side quests on this fitness journey too. Yeah. Well, yeah. Eat as many cookies as I can find around my apartment.
Yeah. I am listening to my body. Yeah. I mean, I think it's important to take care of yourself, but also be kind to yourself.
You know? I am simply doing what Dale Cooper recommended and giving myself in this case 15 treats a day. Yeah. Don't plan on it.
Don't wait for it. Just don't, don't let your wife see you eating all of the cookies. Just do it. Just attack cold blood and ice in your vein.
Uh, okay. Phenomena. Yep. Not going to do it.
Okay. So 1985's phenomena, the Italian jello. Let's set the, let's set the scene for when this came out, right? Okay.
So 1985, Springsteen. Yeah. Madonna. Right.
Is Nirvana around this time? No. Okay. This is way before Nirvana.
It was like five years before Nirvana. Okay. So YouTube, Blondie, music's still on MTV. That kind of thing.
You know what I'm doing here? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
That's right. It took me a second, but I got there. I should try, I should try bowling for soup instead of eating the cookies, right? God, help us.
Oh, man. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah.
Young Connolly, a year before Labyrinth, another normal movie. Yeah. So, Connolly, I was a labyrinth kid. I probably watched that movie 500 times when I was a kid.
Really? Yeah. Yeah. I thought it was, it's one of those movies.
It's a kids movie, right? I'm sure it's like PG or maybe even G, but it's so fucking weird and so like creepy in parts. It's, but also like fun and like family horror films that they used to make where it was like, you could actually give you some nightmares if you were, you know, if not careful. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Also a classic case of American people reading British written dialogue, like people from like Chicago or not Chicago, I was going to say like Cleveland saying like bloody. So, in Labyrinth?
Yeah. I feel like some of the puppeteers are American and then they say like, who's the little guy, her like little lying guy? Yeah. That guy.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hoggle voiced by Brian Henson.
Little Nepetiz. A little Nepetiz. I think it was like true Nepetiz and like he was really bad at it. Like he's just kind of flapping the mouth up and down as fast as he can while he's saying his lines.
Yeah. They keep stopping. They're like, all right, Brian, just slow down. Okay.
Just, you know, read your lines like normal. You don't have to speed throw it. Okay. Don't, you don't have to make mouth go like that.
Okay. Just make an actual. Right. Just try to make just real basics.
I'm like, just try to make the mouth match your mouth. Yeah. Yeah. You know what?
Don't even concern yourself with the other limbs. Anything else. Okay. Let's just focus on the mouth and getting that worked out.
Okay. So, um, cause we really just can't have him hopping up and down instead instead of taking steps, like both feet leaving the ground at the same time. We can't have that. Okay.
One time you kind of just like let him float through the air for a few feet. That was no good. We're trying to make this like kind of a realistic thing. You know.
Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So you're, you're all in on Conley.
Yeah. At this point, like, let's see, Labyrinth came out in like 86. I was born in 83. So like really when I was like maybe five or six years old, this movie was, you know, Labyrinth was a big, big movie in my house.
Yeah. I mean, I thought Jennifer Conley was great in that movie. And of course, you know, obviously she continued acting. She was in a bunch of other really fun movies.
Uh, grew into. Of course. I think as we discussed, she was in, wasn't she in the Keanu Reeves, uh, what's that movie? It's not the day the earth stood still.
Is it? Oh, yeah. Yes. She is.
Yes. It is. Yes. She saw her in iMacs babe.
Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. You know, she's in the, she's in the dam rocketeer.
That's a great movie. It's like 22 years or 23 years or something. They goddamn. I think Jennifer Conley.
They worked together on a beautiful mind. Uh, and apparently 9-11 happened and Bettany was like, the time is now and he reached in. He was like, Jennifer Conley, I love you. Let's get married.
Oh, I thought it was going to be more like a, the producer from Barton Fink being like, there's a war on putting on a general, general easy mo cost. No, no, no, no, no. Like that. Wow.
So he, he was like, to him, 9-11 was romantic. Yeah. He was like, 9-11 reminded me of you and how far. Hey, I saw this thing on the news that made me think of you.
How hard I fell for you on, on the side. Oh, no. Of beautiful mind. Oh, no.
That's, and, and yet we know that's only the second least dignified thing that happened on a movie set during 9-11. Right. Of course, we know the, the first obviously is Danikari being in a turtle suit and continuing to shoot on the set of master of disguise. That is correct.
The statue, the disguisie will not let the terrorists win. No. That's so funny. They're like, oh man.
Of all of the movies. Yeah. It's perfect. It's, it's total, total kismit as they say.
Yeah. You couldn't ask for more from the universe. Yeah, you really couldn't. So like nobody knows, you know, a lot, most people have not seen that movie.
If you know, I think the most familiar people are like with the trailer and when he goes like, turtle turtle turtle turtle, right? Am I not totally enough? Am I not totally enough for the turtle club. Yeah.
And that was shot on 9-11. They watched the news. They saw what was happening and they were like the show. They were like, we got to use, take how you're feeling and use that.
Right. Turtle. So Donald's Pleasant's our old friend DP, not that DP. Our old friend, Pleasant's playing it, playing it, playing it small in this one.
Oh, yes. Oh, it's not in a Loomis mode where he's all wide eyed and crazed. Well, somebody taught him how to drive. A little disappointing, but also such a fantastic choice to play against everything else that's happening in the movie.
So a quick little thing about Jallow films. So it's a genre of horror films from Italy originated in the 60s. The word Jallow means yellow in Italian. And there were a series of these crime mystery books and they had yellow covers and that's where the term comes from.
And sort of like our pulp fiction, kind of. No, exactly like that. And yeah, I mean, there must be, I don't know, 5,000 Jallow films. Not usually, we had this conversation last week where we're talking about Suspiria.
Is it Jallow? Is it not? Kind of? Not really.
Which the genre is more grounded. You know, we're going to talk about phenomena, which is. I was going to say, and yet we ended up doing the bug sorcerer film. But I mean, they're just like staples of the genre.
Like the, we talked about like the fetishy, like the gloves, the shiny, snapping instruments. Yeah. There's always like these things. The murderer who's like, you know, it's always a mystery.
And you always at some point get the POV shot as the murderer killing somebody. With blood, so red, so red. All blood in all movies should be that Jallow red color in my book. Fully, fully agree.
Yeah, fully agree. It just, it's such a, yeah, I mean, the other thing, this is this dario, as we said. And for pause, did you know that this movie was also released under the title Creepers? Yeah.
So not know that. The other thing about Jallow films, right? Since Italian films at the time, all of it, they didn't shoot sound with the Jallow. So all of the audio had to be, you know, 80 yards later.
That may account for the sort of subdued, pleasant performance. That could be. But that's also like beyond Jallow. That's just like a feature of Italian filmmaking.
Like there's a real pride in this stupid ass way of recording sound. Yeah, so it's, it's very, they would do it. So like they would hire actors from other countries, right? Who didn't speak English or even Italian.
And this is like, now who's Halloween town. It's you with your cat. You know, they're lunging in the frame. They know this is a Halloween episode and all the cats are coming out.
They're like yellow. Yeah, that's my, that's the color of my eyes. It's perfect. Yeah.
So they would hire actors from like other countries or whatever. And a lot of the, even Italians in the, in these movies, they would, a lot of times they would be dubbed over in English. Like that they might be like speaking phonetically in film, not knowing like, not speaking the language. And then they would just get dubbed over later.
It was also a way to hire more people, get more people work. Because then you got actors and voice actors involved. Yeah. And there's also like in a lot of the more popular, uh, jello films, there are multiple, uh, cuts, multiple versions of the movies.
So this one has, I know of at least three versions of this. Um, there's the one that we watched was, which is an hour and 56 minutes, which is like the full extended most phenomena you can watch. The American version creepers is cut down by I think like 20 minutes or so. And then there's another version that's an hour and 51 minutes, which is essentially the same thing we watched, except for, um, I'm sure you noticed it when they cut to, um, the audio goes to Italian.
Yes. And I did notice when people were speaking Italian, uh, the, the English dub for those scenes, those lines just doesn't exist. So they had to use the Italian versions, um, which like, I think that's fine. I would have loved some subtitles, but I, I like the sort of international feel it gives it.
I agree. Very clear from the tone and the visuals, what they're talking about, you know? So most of the time, like, you know, I did, I was, as soon as I noticed it, I was like, Oh shit, like I went back and I was like, are these, I was trying to find it online. Like are these subtitles like crucial to plot points or anything like that?
And not really. Of course not. There's what plot right? Well, that's the other thing about that's something you brought up.
Yeah. Very like Lucy goosey with the plot. Uh, sometimes you're not exactly sure what the fuck is going on. Uh, and here's the thing.
Yeah. And this one at least looks terrific. Looks so good. They are usually beautifully shot films in this.
It's, it's so stylish. It's like he said, the shiny objects, so many like loving shots of that stupid extendo knife. Yep. Um, it's great.
And like, I mean, even just like, I think the first thing that really jumped out at me is like a, just like a great choice was like, um, the scene where Donald Pleasance is in the office with the detectives and the chimp is there and there's that like overhead shot. Uh, like this is just like a beautifully composed little set here. Absolutely. Um, it's great.
No, it's, it's a ridiculous film. Yeah. It is weirdly. There are more similarities to the lawn mower man than I would have guessed.
What between the chimpanzee opening and the swarm of bug. Yeah, the swarms of bugs, uh, teeing out the. These are real bugs versus like a, you know, virtual bees. Yeah.
Bees that have escaped their virtual reality containment phrase. Uh, but yeah, it's, it's a silly story. Um, and I can imagine, I don't know how seriously Dario Argento takes himself, but, um, I could totally imagine an Italian guy being like, it's about the, the, the fine line between humans and nature and the chimpanzee represents that middle ground. I can almost guarantee that's what, you know, the thought process was behind this.
Like, because they, even though they are the strange in comparison to like more traditional narratives, like in America or whatever, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they don't, uh, these like filmmakers and the writers, creators or whatever, they don't seem to be just doing things to do them. Uh, there is a point behind most of these things. And even if it doesn't necessarily like, uh, translate it. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Which, I mean, I mean, that like kind of literally too, right? Like there's maybe an Italian, you're like, Oh, this make it a perfect sense.
I'll go to the point. Oh, there's somebody's, I don't understand. Oh, well, no point. Yeah.
Um, so Dan, um, overall, like, what did you think of this? This movie, did you like it? I mostly did. Yeah.
Um, I'm your fucking cat. Yeah. I love it. Um, she, she, I'm talking about the cat.
No, no, no. Um, I do look at the, the, the, the, oh, should it look so good? I wonder what that shorter cut looks like. I wouldn't mind seeing that creeper's cut.
It, you know, there's like, because this is like a style first sort of film. Yeah. There's a lot of lingering shots. Things move kind of slowly.
Yes. Well, things considered that is that is something. The one thing that the genre just does, like, yes, that was one of my, my, say, my issues. The first time I watched this period was a lot of those scenes with the, the kills, especially go on for a really long time before anything happens, before like, like just building suspense to the point where you're like, I can't believe we still haven't, like, killed this person.
Like, you know what I mean? Can we kill this person, please? Um, wait, it's like the first time I watched this period, that was like a huge bump for me. And I was like, I don't get it.
And then the second time I watched it, I was like, oh, all right, it's just like, it's a mood thing. I'm like, I'm going to like capture the mood. And even if like, you know, scenes go on for what seems like three minutes too long, like a solid three whole minutes of like, what, where are we just standing around here? But that's also like kind, I mean, I'm, you know, I think one thing that's kind of interesting about that in the, you know, specifically with like thrillers and like, you know, movies where you're getting first person kills like that, drawing it out that way and knowing is the audience, what kind of going to happen is sort of like, it's a psychological first person where like the, the like urge to get through, you know, like actually deliver the kill becomes your own.
Yes. You know, which is kind of cool. Um, however, a bit of a slog, still a bit of a slog. I also like, I kind of enjoy, um, you know, maybe it's like, you know, you could make a case that this is a flaw, but I like the sort of self conscious, um, just basking in your own stylishness thing with that too.
Yeah. Cause a lot of is just like, I know this looks, I know it looks so good. Like there are so many shots of Jennifer Connolly, like in the climax of the movie, Swimming Underwater. Yeah.
And it looks incredible. Like her nightgown, whatever, flowing in the water and stuff. And I, I love that. I love just the choice to have a tiny, tiny motorboat explode in the biggest fireball, imaginable.
And like the whole lake on fire. I think that's great. Um, and then just sort of like lingering on that shot, like, you know, same sequence, the shot of her like walking out of the lake and like the fire is like dotted in the background. There's like that rock in the foreground and the shrubs off to the side.
It's like, he's just like, I know I got a great shot here. Right. Um, and that's like, that's sort of, I think what, that's the thing we complain about a lot with newer stuff is like it, you feel like you don't always get those shots. Yeah.
I mean, right. And it seems like you could say that like, Jollofilms are more styled than substance. That's like, I think it's a valid criticism. But if you, if you kind of know that going into it and you're like, you know, like the shots of her Swimming Underwater, right?
They do look gorgeous. Like the shots themselves just look amazing. Yeah. As like, if you know that like, they're going to take their time, they're going to fucking like really draw out like some of these like really beautiful shots and whatever, just, I don't know, for me, I just like sort of bask in it.
Yeah. I just like sort of let it wash over me. I'm just like, this is, you know, I know this is dragging on, but I'm also okay with it. Yeah.
That's, and that's really what I mean. Like I'm not even criticizing it in like a, I didn't like it way more just like a, I had to recalibrate a little because it takes, yeah. I mean, it's like with any foreign film, like you watch like foreign films and they just don't have the same structure as American films. Like, yeah, they don't have someone don't have a three extra at all some of them have like a five or six extra and you're like, all right, I don't get it, but I'll try.
Yeah. And in this case, it's like, again, like the plot is so rudimentary and kind of like not a vehicle for the shots exactly, but like it feels like, like I think with like American movies, like the plot is the thing always. And then the movie becomes like, how do you visualize that plot? And with this, it just seems like the plot is more unequal footing with the other elements of it, which is everything else is elevated to the importance of the story itself.
Yeah, which is like, why shouldn't it be that way? Right. Right. I mean, it's like what we talked about with David Lynch, where he's like, he's trying to get out of feeling more so than like something that's easy to understand from an area point of view, right?
And that's, these movies, these are the genre movies, they feel that way to me. They're just like, he's got a bit of jalow in him, would you say? Yeah. I think there's a little bit of that, especially like in his like 90s work for sure.
Yeah. Cool. Yeah, pretty cool. All right.
And the guys who agree with each other. I gotta say, I, this is the first time I watched this movie and I loved it. Yeah. I really loved it.
I thought it was, it's so fucking weird and the plot is bizarre. They're introducing plot points like right up until the end, which I, you know, I'm in whatever, every God for me, show me. I will say, I'm genuinely shocked by the final non, well, actually the last two kills of the movie. Yeah.
Because frankly, I forgot about the chimp. You know, so much, that's how much happens in this movie that there's a chimp that you know, you know has a razor blade and you forget about it. Right. That's how much of a shallow film this is.
The chimp has a razor blade too. But yeah, no, it's like, it's real good fun. It is real good fun. So should we, should we take a break or should we get into, get into?
Rob, I was just about to ask if we should take a break. I get so tired. I need to gather my strength. Yeah, yeah, all right.
We're going to take like a, like a 10 hour nap and we'll be back. You guys won't know that though. Okay. Again, the, again, the Whirlpool hot tub.
Maybe ice up. Yeah. Yeah. I have to do my cold plunge right now.
Yeah. Yeah. So we're going to take a break when we come back. We're going to go through the film Beat by Beat and you can hear that and so much more on patreon.com slash kingmepod.
We'll see you over there. Oh, link in the show. Yeah. And link in the show.
It should go without saying. Chabella. Chabella.