Go To on the Trap of Being "Good" episode artwork

EPISODE · Feb 27, 2026 · 13 MIN

Go To on the Trap of Being "Good"

from Kelly Corrigan Wonders · host Kelly Corrigan

You may be familiar with this woman: she wakes up before anyone else, eats standing up, clears the dishes first—and if you told her she was good, she'd believe you, because all of that not resting, not asking, not taking up room, is what goodness looks like—doesn't it? Kelly digs into research showing that the behavior we reward in women—being accommodating, putting others first, never stopping—is actually a clinical risk factor for depression. This episode takes a close look at why many of us are so busy being good that we forget to be whole and the quiet cost of following rules we never actually agreed to. Check out Elise Loehnen's book On Our Best Behavior: The Price Women Pay to Be Good https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/673282/on-our-best-behavior-by-elise-loehnen/ Elise's workbook, co-written with Courtney Smith is Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness: A Process for Reclaiming Your Full Self https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/771811/choosing-wholeness-over-goodness-by-elise-loehnen-and-courtney-smith/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You may be familiar with this woman: she wakes up before anyone else, eats standing up, clears the dishes first—and if you told her she was good, she'd believe you, because all of that not resting, not asking, not taking up room, is what goodness looks like—doesn't it? Kelly digs into research showing that the behavior we reward in women—being accommodating, putting others first, never stopping—is actually a clinical risk factor for depression. This episode takes a close look at why many of us are so busy being good that we forget to be whole and the quiet cost of following rules we never actually agreed to. Check out Elise Loehnen's book On Our Best Behavior: The Price Women Pay to Be Good https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/673282/on-our-best-behavior-by-elise-loehnen/ Elise's workbook, co-written with Courtney Smith is Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness: A Process for Reclaiming Your Full Self https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/771811/choosing-wholeness-over-goodness-by-elise-loehnen-and-courtney-smith/ To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Go To on the Trap of Being "Good"

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This episode was published on February 27, 2026.

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You may be familiar with this woman: she wakes up before anyone else, eats standing up, clears the dishes first—and if you told her she was good, she'd believe you, because all of that not resting, not asking, not taking up room, is what goodness...

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