God-Empowered Families - Part 2 - Parenting God's Way

Our current focus is on "God in the Family", or "God-Empowered Families".The basic building block of any society or nation is the family unitIf the family unit is strong then the nation will be strongIf the family unit is broken down, the nation will be broken down alsoThe seeds of family breakdown are many times sown in people's lives during their childhood, through:Observing & adopting dysfunctional family dynamicsLack of proper child trainingWrong child trainingProverbs 22:6 (NKJV) Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.Ephesians 6:4 (NCV) Fathers, do not make your children angry, but raise them with the training and teaching of the Lord. The goal of our parenting efforts is to raise up godly children who will become godly adultsWe make the Word of God the basis of our parenting philosophy, and teach our children God's WordChild-centred parenting is a worldly parenting philosophy and will produce self-centred childrenOur most basic task as Christian parents is to:To get your children to obey usTo get our children to honour and respect usIntroducing the tree of the knowledge of good & evilGary and Anne Mary Ezzo have written an excellent book entitled "Parenting from the Tree of Life", in which they teach & encourage a positive and life-giving parenting style.Genesis 2:8–9 (NIV) Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. 9 The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground— trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God made and placed 3 main categories of trees in the Garden of Eden:Beautiful trees including fruit trees everywhereThe tree of life middle of the GardenThe tree of the knowledge of good & evil middle of the GardenGod gave Adam & Eve permission to partake of all the fruit trees, including the tree of life (vs. 16-17), but at the same time He forbade them to partake of the tree of the knowledge of good & evil.The tree of the knowledge of good and evil represents:Rules & BoundariesNOSooner rather than later, as parents, we should place the "tree of the knowledge of good & evil" in the child's life (rules, boundaries & NO).Whilst obvious, dangerous and harmful temptation should be removed from children to keep them safe & keep them from getting into trouble, it is very healthy to establish rules, boundaries and the meaning of NO early in their childhood.For example:NO hitting or bitingNO anger or frustration tantrumsNO lyingNO answering backDefinitely NO dishonourable language towards parentsIntroducing consequences for "eating from the wrong tree"If, and when children disobey & partake of the "forbidden tree", there have to be consequences!Consequences should be swift (connects the "time" with the "crime")Consequences should be, at the very least, unpleasantConsequences should be educative (explain the moral reason why)Consequences should be redemptive (don't correct out of spite)Proverbs 13:24 (NKJV) He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly . Proverbs 20:30 (GNB)Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways.Children may learn from your disapproving wordsBut children will really learn from the unpleasantconsequences of their disobedienceOf course, consequences should be:in proportion to their disobediencein keeping with their ageParents who constantly shield or protect their children from any consequences of their disobedience will perpetuate disobedience in their childrenProverbs 22:15 (NKJV)Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.Proverbs 23:13–14 (NLT) Don't fail to discipline your children. The rod of punishment won't kill them. 14 Physical discipline may well save them from death.Proverbs 29:17 (NLT) Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind and will make your heart glad.(Excellent Book: Dare to Discipline by Dr. James Dobson).Types of consequences:Loss of privilegeLoss of certain enjoymentsTime out, followed by an apology for misbehavingetc.Of course, we not only teach our children against certain types of behaviour (attitudes & actions) but we also teach them for certain behaviour (actions & attitudes).We encourage certain behaviourWe discourage certain behaviourWe correct certain behaviourWe teach our children:Respect for othersRespect for propertyRespect for the laws of the land (Authority)Etc.The difference between Compliance vs ObedienceCompliance is "external" - obedience is "internal".Obedience is the joyful carrying out of expectations & requestsCompliance is the grudging carrying out of expectations & requestsInsist on the right attitude in your child as they follow your instructionsProverbs 20:30 (LB)Punishment that hurts chases evil from the heart.Correcting your child's behaviour has the goal of removing foolishness and/or evil from the heart, while at the same time imparting wisdom into their life.The 7 R's of successful parentingRepetition is the mother of all learningRoutine children thrive in routineRules boundariesReinforcement (positive & negative)Recognition catch them doing the right thing (praise)Re-direction redirect them before they get into troubleRewards reward excellent behaviour & extraordinary effortsRelationships bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor. 15:33)(both real & virtual [TV, screens etc.)Be consistent - Inconsistency confuses the child.