God War #2

Hello and welcome to another episode of the God war. This is episode two, the wisdom pantheon. We're in this one. We're just going to jump into it because that's how I'm doing it.

Well, I'm happy to pick a game mustard and you're listening to a real play face podcast. But anyway, we're just going to jump into it because if you don't know what's going on, this is not going to help you. And he was shamed before this is not a jump on episode. So we're going to start off with a wayfarer.

Yeah. You were in a rocket ship with Spartacus and Gina Irons heading through space and you went through a black hole. Yeah, it was definitely not my idea of a good time. Right.

And your makeshift spacecraft that you built in City Hall, it took off from City Hall and went through the black hole. You are now floating in space and you see some debris, some space debris floating around and you're picking up two life signs. Okay. I guess I'll ask if we can go check that stuff out.

Like I'm assuming we have jet propulsion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Spartacus is like, yeah, I think those are the people we should be picking up, right? I hope so.

There's no light going on in the sucker. Okay. So you put her along your spacecraft quiver. Yes.

You see a small spacecraft puttering along towards you. Perfect. So my little space gun buddy putter me on over there. Okay.

You get puttered on over there and the space gun kind of dissipates as you float towards the spaceship. Thanks. All right. And quiver, you reach the spaceship, wayfarer.

You see, it looks like a human describe quiver for wayfarer. He is sort of winter soldiers in appearance. He wears a face mask as he definitely looks like he is very uncapped right now because he's just have been lost in space. So think like cast away.

So, but he would have a bow and quiver attached to him and pretty much just black combat gear. You would also notice that he is refloding in space. I'm not actually in a craft. So from anything that you could tell, I should not be alive because I'm just floating around out here.

Spartacus says, I think that's a human. This is fucked up. All right. Let's go again.

I don't really have powers to go get someone from space. Can you weird energy them into the space gun? Yeah. I forget that we didn't do the teleporter because you kept trying to do stuff that was just like fry everyone's molecules.

It's fine. I'll go again. I'll be like scooping them into the ship, I guess. All right.

You get scooped into a ship in the ship. There is Wayfair who would you like to describe Wayfair real quick? I'm sure. I'm a alien with tanskin.

I basically look like a human except I've got two antenna sticking on me forehead that make me kind of look like a croquet and I'm wearing a silver jumpsuit with a long coat. Also in the ship is Spartacus. I think so. Sure, I guess so.

But he's dressed in his Spartacus one shoulder armor and he's got a sword as well as well as what looks like a girl version of Iron Man kind of. Right? Also human girl Iron Man. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Like everyone in here is human except for Wayfair. So how'd you get in his base? I guess when I get in I do like the big like exaggerated like deep breath like oh my god I'm not floating around anymore.

This is so great and I'm gonna like kiss all the ground and be very happy to be there kind of just ignoring everything that was being said to me. Cool. Let's go get the other guy. What?

Can you get that fuck out of here? What other guy? There's another guy? I don't know.

There's something else out here. Spartacus puts in the coordinates and you float over and you see knocked out floating in space. What does a keto like? He looks like a human with dog features.

So he's got dog ears and dog tail and fur covering his arms and legs. He's fairly buff and wearing like a white suit. Okay. Spartacus says can you weird energy him into the ship as well?

Yeah, this is all extremely normal. I'm gonna go do that and I'll just send him into the ship down from down to you. All right. Akita you when you get into the ship you wake up.

Fuck what the hell? Where am I? You're in deep space. It's sexier.

Akita what are you doing? Okay. We got scooped up. We're not floating anymore.

That's great. What happened back there? We just partially get blown up. Yeah, I think we got hit by our ship.

Yeah. I don't remember much. It hurts. I'm fighting that guy took a lot out of me.

So I don't know. Spartacus says the something's up with the computer is putting a coordinates and heading us into a direction. Fuck. I think this might be the gods doing this.

You're gonna go look at where it's turn to take us off to. It's taking you into a direction that you are unfamiliar with. Mmm. Space.

All right. Does anybody else react to the spaceship basically taking control of itself and driving in a direction? I think it's going to be doing a couple of jumps through some black holes. More black holes?

Yeah, lots of black holes. Oh, these are spark. I don't want to be rude, but can I just hop out and keep floating? I was so close to getting back to Earth and I don't want to go back out here again.

Please do me. Pretty fast. I don't want to be doing this either, man. All right.

So the ship hits through a black hole and you're flying further and further away from Earthquiver. Some of a bitch. Is there any other space else I can just kind of suck on for a little bit? You have a little tiny, you have a little bit, just a little tiny bit in a baggy in your pocket or whatever.

I don't know how that works. I'm laying down and getting messed up. All right. I'm gonna go.

Do your space stuff. We're gonna cut over to Gavin. All right. You were picked up by Crimson Clover and Crimson Clover says we have to pick up some other people.

The guys have told me who to pick up. Not gods. Let's get that over this. Causic beans or something else.

Okay. Keep it told me who to pick up. So I'm picking them up. That's fine.

I know. I told Bolder I would take care of this. So let's take care of him and stop them messing with us. Okay.

So I'm warning you. One of the guys that we have to pick up. This is real asshole. I've dealt with him a little bit.

He's a real piece of shit. Okay. I've dealt with assholes before. Okay.

All right. So you guys travel. It looks like you end up at the tail end of a wedding ceremony. Is the guy who got married?

Not that I know. I just know that this is where I'm supposed to be. There's apparently two people here to pick up. Oh, there's one of them now.

And she points over to a dude dressed in a golden arrow. What do you describe yourself? So golden arrow is probably since the last time you saw him a little bit different. He's got a full set of like like Greek armor on basically that's shining gold.

And just it's almost as bright as the sun. Not quite that bright, but very, very bright shining off of him. So he's kind of six out like a sore thumb. So go narrow.

Crimson Clover who you don't know. You've never interacted with her. But a girl wearing all red. And Gavin would you like to describe yourself?

Sure. Currently, Gavin is wearing all black. Every once in a while his eyes flash a black shadow over them. And he looks kind of sickly.

And he's a normal just like a normal Asian teenager. These two come walking over to you and here's the club is like you're with the you're with the fastest. Yeah. Yeah.

And we're part of we're part of your part of your crew. I was sent to collect you and one other guy. Okay. So let me get this straight.

You two teenagers. Yeah. Are you in a God war? A cosmic beam war.

Yes. And you're on my side. Yeah. We have another teenagers who should be showing up pretty quick.

So I have what three. It's me and three teenagers. Essentially. Well, there's another guy that's supposed to be here.

You know, where he is. He's this real real douche, this stretchy dude. Silicon artist. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, he's not coming. Are you sure? Hey, 100% sure.

Okay. Well, we don't have a whole lot of time. Let's go then. Let's go then.

And then a portal open. Sophia, you step out of the portal and there's our next member. Hi, you. Hi.

Do I remember Sophia? Yes, you do remember Sophia. Okay. So now there's three teens.

Why is it going on here? Isn't it a bad guy? You're a bad guy too. Your hush or snuff.

What was the name? Snuff. Yes, snuff. You're a bad person too.

You're snuff. What did that happen? Like, not even a week ago. Honestly, like less than a week ago, you were killing people.

Maybe I should say, well, no, I told you also when could be a year from now. That was yesterday. I don't know. Okay.

So it seems like everybody knows each other. Good. I'm glad. I'm glad you have to stay here.

You're the bad guy. Me? I'm not a bad guy. Are you sure you're not a bad guy?

I'm a bad guy. I know. Are you a bad guy? I haven't seen you.

I'm sorry. You were just taking away those months ago. I was in a diner having dinner. No.

Okay. Yeah. I don't even know who Baldari is over here. So it's golden arrow and I'm like a piece of cues.

Yeah. I mean, we've had our history, but you were not a week ago. You were American people. You were just like shooting them in the head and saying you need friends.

Like you still have your ghost friends. Oh, I have a fucking answer. I have six answers. I'm not winning this.

Not winning this. Not winning this. Not winning this. Not winning this.

Not winning this. Not to put a rain on everybody's parade, but we have to get to Machu Picchu. I still have a memory. I want to go.

Let's go. All right. Does anybody have a way to get to Machu Picchu? I don't know what Machu Picchu is.

It's on there. It's a place. Don is not there. My right left me.

No. Well, let's ask the one adult here. I am technically an adult now. I'm an adult.

Okay. But we're not as much of an adult as he is. Do you have a way to my petal? How old are you?

You know, it doesn't matter. Older than you. That's all it matters, but not too much older than you. Okay.

I got a family. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I can drink alcohol legally.

So can I in Canada. Oh, no, I can't. Okay. Here's the thing.

I can fly. I can carry you all with me. But I don't really know how to get to Montaupey. I can't shoot.

But somebody like Google Maps or something like that. I can Google Maps if you can fly us all there. All right. Let's go outside.

All right. So you guys take off and you're flying. Before we take off though, because we were in the church at the wedding, right? I'm going to make it.

It wasn't a church. It wasn't a church. Okay. It's a giant mansion.

What was the wedding happening? The wedding was over. That's how I want to make sure. Because it was I was going to be like sorry to bruss and things like that.

Oh, no. The wedding was pretty much over. The ceremony was over. And in the distance you see a rocket ship flying into space.

Okay. Then I'll jump on golden arrow. Okay. Golden arrow.

You're lifting them and flying towards Machu Picchu. Yeah. I'm going to lift everybody. I guess you haven't hit right on my back.

All right. You feel real buff. Of course. Yeah.

You're carrying all these. You're carrying three teens. They probably weigh like 90 pounds. It's not that heavy.

I mean, Sophia isn't exactly like a giant tall Amazon. Right. Okay. So you're flying across the ocean with three teens.

All right. We're going to. No, before you go. I'm going to be like, you know what?

You get a lot more trouble here. You're crossing a lot of borders with just teenagers. It's set you down and you can cross the border yourself. That's fine by me.

Just saying. Are you just like lost? Like where you want to feel tripping? You're just like decided to take a left instead of a right.

Like what do you bring to this? I'm sorry. I'm being rude, but. I bring that I can fight and do stuff.

Cool. Yes. I don't. I don't currently have a job.

No, no, no. No, no, no. I don't know where it is. I don't have that.

I don't have that more for anymore. Oh, no. Okay. So you guys are flying towards Machu Picchu.

We're going to zip back over to the space crew. Space crew. The spaceship after zipping through a bunch of black holes stops on the outside of a planet. When you look down at the planet, it looks like the entire planet looks like it's made out of a maze.

Does it get to recognize what this planet is? Roll me a lure. Mine's one. Nope.

No idea. This place looks like hell. I agree. Do I recognize this place?

Roll me a lure. That's a three. You haven't been here or have ever seen it, but you have heard way, way, way back in the day rumors of a labyrinth planet and at the center is a mysterious secret to all power. Oh, that sounds convenient.

Apparently at the center of the stupid thing, there's a thing of power. I'm assuming we're here to get the thing of power. I don't know that you guys. Sounds like something the god would want.

Yeah. How do you get this shit? You are now in control of the spaceship by far, so let me know what you do. Okay.

You guys want to patch down? I don't know that. I mean, can we just cheat the labyrinth? Can you just fly over the top like crawling under or not go through it?

We can try, but I don't know if we're necessarily going to find the center that usually this thing is an entire labyrinth. All right. Yep. Well, I'm along for the ride.

You suit me up. That's kind of my ammo lately. I just kind of follow whoever. Yeah, I can't really go anywhere.

Go beans. Let's do a sightseeing tour here. All right. Roll me something to try to find the best place to egress into the labyrinth planet.

How about a notice? Does that sound good? Yeah. Could a key to also rolling a investigate?

Maybe look. Sure. Yeah. Go for it.

Okay. I got it too. Akita, you notice a place that looks like it's a pretty decent spot to land. I think over there should be good.

All right. I will touch this puppy down. All right. You touch the puppy down and everybody piles out.

Well, Gina Irons and Spartacus pile out. Does everybody else pile out? Sure. I guess.

Well, you hear from like all of the different directions. There's noisas coming from the labyrinth planet. Success. Spartacus, do you know anything about this?

About a planet made of maize? Not really. I know that you're possibly a little more touch and more in touch with the gods than I am. Well, I mean, I never said that we'd have to use our wits to get through.

So I'm assuming that we're going to have to go through this maze. Cool. I'm going to get my box out and try to contact Ola Roon. Okay.

Oh, you're a puzzle box or whatever? My Scrabble tiles. Okay. All right.

You're Scrabble tiling to try to scry what Ola Roon wants. Sure. What's everybody else doing? So we're going to be headed into this labyrinthism, right?

Yeah. I'm going to reach into my magic quiver and spell out what we got. I'll just spell out what we got. Holding device arrow and just lob one at the one of the wings of the ship so that way I just have a little beacon of getting back.

Okay. Okay. You said there's noises? Yeah.

Kind of echoing throughout. Sounds like there's something in there. I'd be able to focus in on any of the noises. Maybe see if I can tell which way would be like monster or something.

Yeah. You know what? Give me a one of them. Listen rolls.

Wash on the dice. So that'd be a plus two. You have a general sense that one direction seems like it has a little more noisies happening than the others. This way seems like there's most activity.

Wayfare. You get a message from all around the message says reach the center some of the others. Helpful. Okay.

I guess we're huffing it. You know, I understand some camera bots in different directions. He's like, I'll see what I can figure out. Okay.

So which direction are you all huffing it? Nobody says anything. He is just going to walk towards the noises. All right.

Is everybody following a key? It works for me. All right. Everybody's following a key towards the noises.

Might as well. So you're walking through a labyrinth for a little while. There's some twists and turns and there's also like weird things written on the walls and different languages. The languages languages we can recognize or is it space to the rich.

Rummy and lore. I got a plus five. Yeah. Some of these seem like earth languages.

Not all of them, but some of them seem like earth languages. Okay. I'm going to point that out to the group and but hey, I can't read this, but I mean, this is this is earth stuff. Is anyone Translate?

Maybe give us directions? Maybe there's hints. I wouldn't know any of that shit. I'm a junior or a Spartacus.

Gina's like, I have a translator in my helmet. She starts scanning and start translating. She's like, yeah, it's giving us hints. Follow me.

And she starts walking. She's like, hover flying because she's Ironmaning. All right. So you guys are going and she's solving these hints as you go by.

And she's like, that one seems to Sumerian. That one's Japanese. That one's this. That one's that.

And she's flying. And then as you're going down the hallway, there's a figure standing in your way. Wayfare. You remember or you noticed this person and they look familiar.

It looks like Blair Sullivan. Oh shit. Guys, aren't trouble. Someone you know.

Yeah, we don't want to fuck with this girl. She's a possessed by God. She opens her mouth and hollow voice echoes throughout. Turn back.

Leave now. She's got a point. She's going to turn to Gina. There's the way to go.

Yeah, she's right in our way. All right. Gita is going to pull out the Professor Perfect gun and he is going to attempt shoot at her feet. Okay.

Roll me a shoot. Nice one. Cool. All right.

Yeah. No, you missed. Oh, okay. What were you just trying to like, warning shot?

Yeah. I'm just able to warning shot then with a negative one. We're not trying to hit. She did not appreciate that.

She shoots beams of magic at everybody and she gets a four towards everybody. Everybody rolled defenses against a four. So we're entering the fight. Yeah, you're entering the fight.

I will take up a defensive stance. Okay. Okay. That's one of the best was four plus two.

That's seven. All right. She's blast magic at everybody. Sometimes that spark is takes a heavy hit and so does Gina.

We're going to cut back to floaty team or gold narrow team or teens in the man. She'll grab some snacks. Grab some snacks. I have a head for ever.

Team Chris Hanson. Oh, God. Chris Hanson mind freak. Yes.

Yes. That's a bunch of predators. It's way funnier. The catch up right over Chris Angel like magically appears like so you expect to see a 14.

All right. So gold narrow and teens you reach Machu Picchu, which if you don't know Machu Picchu is it's like ancient village on the top of a mountain somewhere. So yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you're not wrong. You could Google it. It's an ancient village on the top of a mountain. Okay.

And you reach Machu Picchu floating above it currently. I guess it kind of just set everyone down and like, I don't know what I would consider the center of it. You notice it's really quiet. No, that's really.

You're really. Yeah. Like I've never been there to. Well, it's a pretty big tourist destination.

So for no one to be here is kind of strange. Oh, it's really quiet for a tourist destination. So clover, why are we here? Apparently there's something we're supposed to get.

What? I'm not sure. I there these these cosmic beings as you like to say the guys are incredibly vague. I bolder is not a big one.

I'm only talking once, but he's full of information. Yeah. He tried asking your God any questions. They're usually pretty good about answering them.

You know, keep it not so much. So if you guys have better luck, then fucking go for it. I don't really like the column. I got this.

I reach up into like my spandex likelihoods are like behind my neck and I pull out like a little lighter and I flick it open like a little big lighter. Look, I'm like, Hey, you there. You don't hear anything back, but the ground rumbles. Shake it and light it again.

The ground rumbles again, but you don't hear anything from the flame. All right, I think he's out. Can I talk a hathor? You can give it give a shot.

I'm supposed to talk to Heather because I don't know. Okay. So she just stands in the street. Hey, hello?

Everybody roll me a notice. Oh, three. Sophia, you notice that there's a man in a brown trench coat and a shovel. His skin all gross and weird and he's covered in maggots and he's standing on one of the taller ancient buildings and he's holding a large stone slab.

Hey, everybody. There's a guy over there. I don't think he's okay. He holds his hand out and the ground rumbles again.

Oh, I look at this man. Do I recognize him? Yeah, he looks different. It is definitely grave robber, but he is it looks like he is something is living under his skin.

I'm still gonna fly up to him like a great rubber to get wrapped up in this whole God war thing. His mouth kind of snaps open like a like a snake like maggot start falling out of it. All right. So something's changed out of the ground.

Everyone is attacked by zombies. They all spring forth out of the ground. Everybody is being attacked by zombies. Yeah, it's a thousand zombies.

Yeah, it's a thousand zombies. I mean, I've got this before. Hey, just because I repeat things. All right.

So everybody plus six a dodge Jesus my fight is my biggest skill. What do we roll? Roll fight to dodge zombies. Oh, negative one.

Okay, you take two Sophia. I got zero. Yeah. You guys zero.

All right. You take one golden arrow. Yeah. All right.

So what do y'all do? I'm gonna more. Okay. So you more.

I was waiting for you to do your. I don't have those powers. Okay. So I was doing the quick morph.

Okay. All right. We don't have any time. I like to annoy the teens.

Okay. So you quick morph. Um, Sophia, what do you do? Uh, I'm gonna start shooting at these.

Okay. Roll me a shoot to shoot some of these things. Oh, that is a plus six. All right.

You are blasting some bombs. Yeah. Uh, Crimson Clover is like, I'm not a fighter and she tries to punch a zombie. Unsicessfully.

And now golden arrow. What do you do? I'm going to try to clamp gray robbers mouth like shut. Basically, I'm just gonna reach out and just like make him stop.

Okay. Uh, roll me a fight against gray rubber. Um, that is a five. All right.

Yeah. You, you grip his face. Good. Cool.

He's close to touch and his obvious don't stop. He's gross. His veins are all popping. Okay.

Uh, try to snap his neck. Okay. You can, on your next turn, you're gonna try to snap his neck. A bunch of zombies pile up like they ladder on top of each other to this big chain in the gun that comes slamming down on you Gavin for a seven to attack.

All right. I'm going to try to roll and dodge out of the way. Okay. I got a five.

All right. You take, you take some zombie damage as they pile onto you. There are Sophia zombies try to pile onto you as well for a three. Or native to you.

Oh, you take, you take some zombies damage. They're pile onto you. They, they start, uh, they start dragging you down. He started getting drug down under the ground.

Oh man. Crimson Clover also getting drug down under the ground and she's screaming. How about somebody? God damn it.

Gold narrow. It is your turn. All right. No, wait.

Hold on. Gavin. I skipped everyone's turn. Gavin, it's your turn.

Um, all right. I'm going to, in my mental thing, like I gotta say, Sophie, she's my friend. But then think, Crimson Clover's kind of hot though and maybe this will give me my good graces. So I'm going to, it's hard going to see her then veer towards Crimson Clover to help her out.

Okay. And I'm going to start, um, shooting at zombies while I'm running that way. Okay. Roll shoot.

So I got a plus five for shoot. All right. You're running towards Crimson Clover and blasting, blasting zombies. Sophia, what do you do?

All right. Roll shoot for zombies. There's a zero. Yikes.

There's no why. Why do they betray me? You are not successfully shooting off the zombies. No.

Crimson Clover also does poorly because she is not a fighter. Gold narrow is your turn. All right. Well, if the teens are screaming for help, I guess I'm not going to snap this person's neck.

I'm going to use my physique from a range and I will try to lift basically anybody that's grabbed by zombies out of the grasp of the zombies and like, lift them up above. I'm going to throw me that beautiful bean footage. That beautiful bean footage is a seven Alex. Yeah.

You yank everybody out of the ground with your mental strongly. Yeah. Um, you, you do that. The zombies are so numerous and like climbing up the mountain and springing out from the ground that they are piling on top of each other much like World War Z.

Remember that? Great movie. Nope. It's great.

It's our time. The new, um, Ernie Hemis, we move you. The new Ernie Sudge movie. So, Ernie goes to the apocalypse.

All right. So, um, they, they're, they're piling up towards you. We're going to cut back to the other space crew who's going to go after Blair shot about to magic out y'all who goes next. Anybody have anything they want to do?

Uh, I mean, if she's shooting at us, I'm going to shoot back. So, whoever. Um, go for it. All right.

Uh, I'm just going to chance it and you can let me know what I got. All right. I'm just going to reach back full for an arrow. Um, but unless it, I'm really calling something, it's, I just kind of get what I get.

Right. So, it could be special. It could be not. You let me know what it is.

Oh, okay. Uh, it's just a normal arrow. Okay. Cool.

That was boring. Sweet. Got a bad roll. All right.

Um, yeah. So, I'm just going to take a normal shot. Okay. Uh, so I got a two.

Okay. You, you hit her in the shoulder with an arrow. All right. Wayfarer.

What do you do? I try to use weird energy to turn off gravity and a column above her head. So, like trying to shoot her out of the maze area. Yep.

Okay. Go for it. Roll weird energy. That's only a two.