Grace Aduroja Kolker on Achievement and Fulfillment

Grace Aduroja Kolker is a friend of mine, someone I look up to, and someone who I consider to be a mentor. Grace is a coach who is extremely wise when it comes to things like communication, emotional intelligence, diversity, equity, and inclusion, and decision making. I personally have sent many friends to to get coached by her. Grace and I work together often as facilitators and she is my go-to when I need help with a tricky situation. Grace is also a lawyer by trade, so she’s going to talk about her background in law and why she didn’t continue down that path of being a practicing lawyer. She also has a journalism background. She is somebody who has had to ask questions for legal purposes, had to ask questions as a journalist, and is somebody who is just ridiculously curious. Grace is amazingly inquisitive and is a leadership coach. She is someone who holds space for people, develops people, and also facilitates conversations in group experiences. Grace is someone who I look up to, someone who makes me wiser and better at my job, and we often co-facilitate together. Additionally, she has a high-potential accelerator where she will work with individuals one-on-one.   Grace had a number of amazing insights during our conversation. Some of them include: “People always want breakthroughs, but what I found is that breakthroughs don’t usually come without breakdowns” (5:50). “I loved being in the thick of things” (10:20). “I’m just a performer” (12:45). “I just perform. Your racism is not my problem, it’s not my business” (12:50). “Whatever it is, I’m going to perform” (13:15). “If I have the ability to turn out and produce a result, I’m absolutely going to do it” (21:20). “I wanted to go to law school to think like a lawyer” (21:45). “I didn’t have a sense of identity outside of achievement” (22:15). “Our thoughts are that automatic, they’re like our nails growing or our heart beating… You don’t have to give into those nasty thoughts” (32:30). “I have a fulfilling life now, but it’s because I’m not trying to counteract some negative programming that I wound up with because I’m a human being” (41:25). “What I want is to make a difference. What I want is for people around me to be empowered. What I want is for women to discover their leadership and get that it doesn’t have to be the old conversation of what leadership is” (41:40). “When you have achievement for achievement’s sake, it will feel good and you’ll keep chasing the carrot. There will come a point where there’s some silence and stillness and you realize that it’s not fulfilling” (46:20). “Their impression of you is not your business” (57:30). “When I read an article, my favorite part is always the comments. How are people actually reading it and responding to it?” (1:06:05). “We sit down, and we just envision: if this was the best year of our life, what would we have?” (1:10:05).   Thank you so much to Grace for coming on the podcast! I wrote a book called “Shift Your Mind” that was released in October of 2020, and you can order it on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Additionally, I have launched a company called Strong Skills, and I encourage you to check out our new website https://www.strongskills.co/. If you liked this episode and/or any others, please follow me on Twitter: @brianlevenson or Instagram: @Intentional_Performers. Thanks for listening. -Brian