Hi, I'm the daily family. Welcome back to the podcast. This is Daniel McCleary, your host. I am going to be talking today all about grief and business and how interconnected they can be and how also so much grief can kind of creep up on you.
And I'm going to tell you a little bit about my experience with that. Today is my dad's birthday and it is very strange that this is the third birthday of his that he hasn't been earth side. So this is our third birthday without him, which is a very strange feeling. And so I wanted to talk about it and I want to talk about a little bit of, you know, how grief and business kind of go hand in hand and how as much as I hate to admit it, grief has informed my business.
So if you're somebody who's gone through grief, maybe you've lost someone, you know, ended relationships, going through it right now, missing someone, this episode's for you. So listen in. Hey, friend, welcome to On the Daily. I'm your host, Daniel McCleary, and I'm a quantum business coach.
I'm the host of this podcast. I'm a multi six figure entrepreneur, co-founder and president of Hypeu Media and CEO of Danielle on the Daily Coaching. What I'm really interested in is helping you live a life and have a business that is a full body. Yes.
So through all of my education and all of my experience, I'm bringing you two episodes a week where I will guide you and give you the tools necessary to scale a massive sustainable and sexy business using your intuition, wealth, energetics and human design. What we can call it is business bio hacking. So if you're down for that, then I say, let's frickin go. I'm so glad you're here.
I wanted to give you a little hype you media update since, you know, on the Daily's kind of a flagship show for our media network, which is an entrepreneurial podcast network. So all of the shows on our network are all entrepreneurial podcasts in some way. So maybe there are more in the innovation category, the strategy category, leadership, network marketing, energetics. Obviously, my show is very based in energetics, but I wanted to give you an update every week because I know so many of you are interested in Hypeu and Hypeu University.
So this week, we actually launched Hypeu University and had our first live training. I got to host the first training. It was all about human design. It was so cool to finally have this big space and have it be like such a powerful start to what will be a huge membership platform very soon along with a free training.
There's also an on-demand library with another training as well as a course rental this month. So there's already a lot of content inside of Hypeu University and every week there's a live training. So next week, you're going to hear from Harley Jordan, who owns All Influence Collective. She is such a badass when it comes to content creation and creating a business out of content creation.
And I just have a lot of respect for her and I've been friends for a long time and I just really respect what she does. So if you're not part of Hypeu University, you can be if you want and currently you can actually get a week free trial. So you don't have to pay right away, which is awesome because you'll get to kind of poke around, see the trainings and it'll be amazing. So if you want to take advantage of that free trial, click the link in our show notes and you can have that as you can have that as part of a gift from us.
So before we move on to this episode, I just want to share with you another podcast that we have on our network and it's Getting Magnetic with Sandy and Wade. Now Sandy and Wade, I'm biased. They are friends of mine. I adore them and their podcast has been so beneficial in my journey, but also it's transformed a lot over the last couple of years since they started their podcast.
It used to be a lot about energetics and getting magnetic now. They still do that, but they are so much more specific and focused and like laser clear. And I feel like their podcast is just serving so many people. They talk business, they talk love life and beyond.
This month though, their focus is helping creators and people who show up on social media monetize their online influence through partnering with a brand and building a business. Their whole idea is that when you convert influence to impact, anything is possible. So there's really no one better to mentor you in that realm than Sandy and Wade. Their energy is obviously contagious.
If you know them, you know, and if you want to listen to their show, we're going to put a link in our show notes so you can listen to that episode. But if you're in the network marketing space, this is a great episode. This is a great podcast and they have some great episodes for you to listen to. So that's getting magnetic on the high-view media network.
Hi, welcome back to the podcast. So grief, grief, grief, grief. This is a word that I have developed such a deep personal relationship with over the last two and a half years. You know, my dad, if you're new to the show, my dad was my best friend in the whole world.
I say he's my soulmate. And I say that because I believe we've traveled many, many lives together. And in this life, he was also my son's best friend and he passed away January, 2021. And the next year after he died was me just carrying on doing the things I've always done, just like pushing through, if you will.
And it wasn't until we hit the year mark that I really experienced the most epic burnout of my life. And I realized that I could not continue on doing the things I was doing. I was forced to, I was forced to kind of face a lot of limiting beliefs and money stories that had been passed on to me from my dad, which is never something you want to admit, never something you want to face. Because for me, it was like facing that.
I think I thought that if I faced that and I admitted that some of the limiting beliefs I had around money and growth and success would actually, and if I had acknowledged and admitted that they came from my dad, that it would mean that I, it was an honoring him the right way or that I didn't love him enough, or I don't even know what else my brain cooked up. But those are just some of the thoughts I had. And I think why I had so much resistance to kind of facing it. But a year after he died, right around January of 2022, I really had no choice.
It was, I call it like, it was a cosmic intervention, like the universe came in, could be God's source for you from your university universe was like, yo, you need to figure this out, because it's fucking killing you too. And that is not helpful to anyone. So let's get our shit together. And so I was forced to kind of face a lot of things and had a lot of realizations that have only, I guess, skyrocketed my success ever since, which is kind of hard.
It's like even saying that out loud is kind of hard to admit, because to say out loud, my dad dying forced me to learn lessons that I hadn't been learning while he was alive. And it was only after he died that I was able to learn those lessons, which created more peace in my life and more success in my life. That's a really hard thing to admit. So I wish I could tell you that it gets easier to admit those things, but it hasn't for me yet.
Maybe it will later, but it hasn't yet. And also true that it's a fact. I used to believe, and again, I didn't realize this, I had no conscious awareness of this until my dad died. But I kind of always held myself back from being successful, because I believed that if I became successful, I would no longer need my dad.
And if I didn't need my dad, my dad would die. And this is because when I was younger, my dad was a type one diabetic. You know, when I started becoming in my teens and 20s, he really had weight issues, heart issues, he had open heart surgery, 10, I don't know, maybe eight or 10 years ago, I don't even know now, time just kind of passes after somebody dies. But in my mind, I'm like, it was like five years ago.
But I'm like, no, because he's been dead for two and a half. So no, it's been way longer than that. But he had open heart surgery, kidney, liver, all the things. And he would always say things like if he'd end up in the hospital, or if he'd have a diabetic reaction, or whatever it was, he would always say things like, honey, I'll be here as long as you need me.
Because I'd be like, Dad, you can't die on me. He can't die on me. And he used to say things like, I'll be here as long as you need me. And I think what that did over the years from childhood up until I was an adult, is it got into my subconscious that I couldn't not need him.
Because if I didn't need him, he would die, which is so fucked up to say it out loud, by the way, like I say that out loud. And even I go, what? But that's how I felt. And I realized this, but because I was always found myself in the situation where I would start to do really well, and I would start to like figure it out.
And then I would worry that the other she was going to fall and I would self sabotage. And my ego really started to learn that. And started to, I think, latch on to that belief. And so that's why up until my dad died, I would always find myself like doing really well, other shoe fell, rock bottom, need help, do well, other shoe would fall, rock bottom, need help.
And so after he died, I couldn't like go to him for help anymore. You know, you're forced to grow up in a sense, you're forced to face these things. And I did. And it did add to my success.
And once I healed this belief, and I really started to understand that actually the best way that I could honor my dad is to become the most successful I could become because of how much he helped me growing up. And because of the safety net that he was for so long, I owe it to him and to myself and to my ancestors, right, all of my generational trauma around hustle and, you know, working really hard and, you know, in order to make money, you have to work really hard. And in order to honor all of those people, I had to be, I have to become wildly successful. It's how I honor my dad best.
And that was a belief that came only after my dad passed away. And so to say that grief hasn't contributed to more success, more peace, more love would be wrong. And at the same time, to say that feels not great. And I think grief is something that doesn't go away.
You know, as an entrepreneur, I am a fixer by nature and entrepreneur is someone who takes risks and figures shit out. That's who we are. If you're an entrepreneur, you know this, if you're a CEO, you know this, like, I don't let things become problems. Like people say, what do you do when you have like a huge problem?
Or when you start to feel like you're out of control? Or what do you do when you have bad days? I don't have bad days. I have bad moments.
I have I get triggered, but I'm not triggerable because I do, I move things through my body and I've learned the tools and I've done the things that I have a tool belt accessible to me at all times that can help me reframe a situation, can help me zoom out and take a look for like a bird's eye perspective to have discernment in my business. I have all these tools. So I don't ever just dwell on things. Like nothing ever lasts, right?
Like if something like as an entrepreneur and as a CEO as if I have a problem, I solve it. And I think grief is the one thing that there is no solving it. You don't solve grief. You know, when my dad died, people would say to me, don't worry, like time heals all wounds, like it'll get easier.
Like those people, I don't know if those people had ever actually even lost someone because that's bullshit. Or they were just like saying it as like a reminder, I trying to encourage themself of that, but it's, it's not true. Like it's grief doesn't get easier. You just almost have to become adaptive to grief.
You have to accept grief as just a constant buddy in your life. And that's very hard for me as an entrepreneur. And I'm sure if you're an entrepreneur with grief, you agree, it's a very difficult thing to have this cloud that follows you everywhere. No matter what, that yes, I have good days.
I know that the sun is warm. I know that like I'm, I've had some of the most, the happiest moments of my life in the last few months, moving to Texas, building our home, getting married to breezy, like some of the biggest, happiest moments of my life. And I know that I can't, like they're like experiencing that to the absolute fullest is not something I'm currently capable of. And I say currently, because I don't know what the future holds, right?
It's been two and a half years since my dad died. I may feel differently in 10 years. And I'm giving myself the space in the runway for that. I can say right now, you there isn't like pure joy is I still consider I still say that I do get moments of pure joy.
My wedding day was pure joy. But pure, as if we were saying it was like a percentage, it's like my life is now on a bell curve, like 100% isn't possible. 95 is. And so pure joy on my wedding day was 95%.
And that is, that's the most, that's the most. And the entrepreneur in me, the CEO in me, the like bad bitch in me that just figures it out is constantly grappling with, how do I get that to 100 again? How do I get our max to 100? How do I, how do I increase our maximum potential?
And I think with grief and business, it's one of those things where you have to accept and adapt to the fact that it's not going to be 100. And that's okay. It's not a bad thing. And no, by any means I don't walk around, like I don't mope around.
Obviously this week probably has been a little bit challenging. Just knowing I always feel like coming up on Father's Day or coming up on my dad's birthday or coming up on the day he died. I, my body like resists it leading up until the day and then the actual day is not as horrible as I feel like it's going to be. And that being said, it is the only thing in my life that I can't solve.
And that's a very frustrating feeling. And that's a very hopeless feeling. And I find myself fighting it a lot. It reminds me actually, I watched this show on Disney Plus.
It was a National Geographic show. It's called Limitless with Chris Hemsworth. We recently watched it and he basically is just trying to figure out the ways that he can live longer. So he's like, it's like this biohacking show essentially where he pushes his body physically mentally, you know, through cold therapy, through strength, through memory, through all these things.
And the last episode is acceptance. And it's all about accepting death and accepting that we get older and accepting that life is a cycle. And he goes through this whole thing. You don't want to show you should, but there's a doctor on there that talks a lot about it.
And he's saying, you know, we fight it. We fight aging. We fight the fact that we're getting older instead of just accepting that it's a beautiful part of life. And when we lose the ability to do one thing, it could open up a whole other realm of possibilities for us.
And I feel like grief is the same way. You know, of course, grief has opened my eyes to my mortality. Of course, grief has given me a whole new lease on like, make the most of every moment watching my dad die. I am the healthiest I've ever been since my dad died.
And I, my son is healthy and he's, he's given tools to be his healthiest self. And I don't just mean with food. I mean with exercise with the way he uses his brain with the way that he loves himself. I watched my dad for years.
My dad was a very insecure person, although he proclaimed not to be, he was very insecure about his body. You know, diabetes did a number on him. He became radically addicted to sugar to the point where getting off of sugar was like a drug addict getting off of cocaine or heroin. And, you know, fixing my dad's gut health, like I tried to give him a gut health supplement one time.
And he threw up because his body was just so mangled and so destroyed. And you become intolerant to insulin to the point where, you know, if you know diabetes at all, normal blood sugar ranges, usually between like 80 and like 110 for like a normal person, my dad's blood sugar would get up to like 400. And that's not, that's not uncommon for a diabetic, like diabetics, blood sugar can go up really fast because there's just no, especially a type one diabetic. They don't have a pancreas, like bringing that, they don't have a natural insulin production.
So it would go up because insulin is what brings your blood sugar down. And so they use insulin to bring their blood sugar down. And most diabetics would use maybe three, four units of insulin to bring their blood sugar from a 400 back down to normal range. And that would work fine.
But because my dad grew up eating so much sugar, and when my dad became a diabetic, they didn't really have a system for it. There was no system for diabetes. So it was like, here, have a snicker, is your weak, your blood sugar is low, your have a snicker, bring your blood sugar up. And so he became so addicted to sugar over the years that he lived his life, basically like, Oh, I can eat whatever I want.
And I'll just take more insulin. So he actually became like insulin immune as he got older, which is really scary for a diabetic, because if you're immune to insulin, then how do you heal your body, which ultimately became a huge problem in his in his later years, but I say later years, my dad died at 64, like he's not, he's not, he was an old by any stretch of the imagination. But anyway, my dad, I've been normal diabetic would take three or four units my dad by the time of his life, he had to take 40, like 40 units to bring his blood sugar back down. And insulin, that's synthetic like that, it's a synthetic substance in your body, it causes so much inflammation.
So he had inflammation all over his body, like a demon in his, on his skin, and he had, you know, liver issues and kidney issues and his heart disease and so many different issues. So that experience has given me that least on life that I've looked at that, you know, you, you it's a gift in a sense, although it came from really shitty thing, it's a gift to be able to know that I'm never ever going to, you know, be like that or my son will never be like that. And I will always take care of myself or my son and my future grandchildren. So that's a gift.
But I'm kind of going back to that show, it, it kind of talks about like the acceptance of death and aging and mortality. And I think grief is the same thing. You, you have to just accept that it's part of your life. And there's nothing you can do about it.
And also learn how to not let it be something that causes your body more stress. Because if you're constantly worried and like fighting grief, then your body's in this constant state of a fight or flight, which my body was for about the first year after he died, I was in constant fight or flight, everything was like a heightened stressful situation. And so learning to accept and adapt to grief has meant that I become at peace with it. I become one with it.
I accept that it's part of my life. And I don't let it, I don't, I don't fight it anymore, which is I said, like I said, it is very difficult for an entrepreneur. And if you're in business, and you're, you are also on a grief journey. I can say so far, it doesn't go away.
You just learn how you are more adaptive. And you learn how to let it be a bigger part of your life. And you continue to build a business around that. It's like, instead of you're the only one running your business, like my little best friend grief, right, is also building my business.
And a lot of the decisions I make come from the lessons I've learned since my dad has died. And that is something to be grateful for has fucked up as it is. And I probably would trade it all if I could hug him again. There are lessons and gifts that I've been given.
And I understand consciously that I couldn't have learned those lessons and I couldn't have received those gifts if he hadn't died, which is shitty to admit. So I think if you're in a grief journey, maybe you lost a parent, a loved one, maybe it's a divorce, maybe it's a sick child, maybe your partner is deployed in the military, if you're missing someone, whatever it is, grief can look so many different ways. And nobody's grief is worse than anyone else's. Maybe instead of fighting that grief, maybe adapt to it and accept it as part of you and learn to work with it.
And maybe it can actually open up a lot of possibilities for you. Like it's done for me. I love harder than I've ever loved. I care deeply about people and I make sure that they know it and that energy trickles into my business.
And that is a gift that was given to me through grief. So all that to be said, if you are on a grief journey, I'm sending so much love to you because I know how tough it is. And it's not easy and we're not alone. I also will say my dad was a dancer, not trained by any stretch of the imagination, although he would tell you he would have told you that he was.
But my dad loved to dance. And one thing I've been saying since he died is dance like Dan. And so today, if you're hearing this today on his birthday, June 9th, maybe dance today. And that can be whatever it looks like for you.
Maybe your move, maybe dancing is actually dancing. Maybe it's just putting on good music and enjoying it. Maybe it's taking a walk, but you know, my dad, no matter what, no matter how much pain he was in, no matter how much his body would shut down on him, he would still be telling jokes. He would still be checking in on others.
He would still be laughing. He would still be loving people so hard. And I understand now that that was a huge coping mechanism for him and my dad had the power to really see people in such a deep way. And so I hope today and every day you dance like Dan, I know I will be.
I will see you back next week with more episodes. I love you. And we'll talk soon. Bye.