Grief Is Not A Performance- We all grieve differently

Send us Fan MailGrief doesn’t always cry. Sometimes it files paperwork, goes back to work, tells a joke, cleans the house, or sits in eerie quiet because the body is doing what it must to survive. We’re talking about performative grief and the “grief police” mindset that pressures people to prove their love with tears, breakdowns, or a perfect timeline. If you’ve ever been told you’re not grieving “right,” this conversation is for you.We get into why mourning looks wildly different from person to person, even when the loss is the same. We unpack the myth that emotions are always visible, and we explain how shock, denial, numbness, and delayed crying can be protective nervous system responses rather than signs that something is wrong. We also talk about the unfair assumptions people make when someone appears functional in public, especially when a loss is scrutinized online or in the media.Finally, we zoom out to the body. Grief can show up as anxiety, brain fog, irritability, insomnia, digestive issues, panic, and physical tension. That’s why trauma-informed and somatic healing approaches matter: sometimes the goal isn’t forcing emotion, it’s helping the nervous system feel safe enough to let emotion move. If this helped you feel seen, subscribe, share it with someone who needs permission to grieve their way, and leave a review so more people can find it.Support the show