Hello and the daily family. Welcome back to the show. This is your hosting. I'm a clary and today's episode I am going to talk about something a little bit different, but still very very relatable to anybody in business anybody just in life in general um, and that's this idea of grief and how it applies to not just what we go through currently, but also how it affects a past version of us And so if this is you and you are currently grieving something, maybe it's a relationship.
Maybe it's a friendship. Maybe it's a job Maybe it's something or you're just feeling out of body a little bit Then this episode is going to be for you and I hope that you listen listen in Hey friend, welcome to on the daily. I'm your host, Daniel McCleary and I'm a quantum business coach I'm the host of this podcast I'm a multi-six figure entrepreneur co-founder and president of hype u media and ceo of danielle on the daily coaching What i'm really interested in is helping you live a life and have a business that is a full body Yes, so through all of my education and all of my experience I'm bringing you two episodes a week where I will guide you and give you the tools necessary to scale a massive Sustainable and sexy business using your intuition wealth energetics and human design What we can call it is business bio hacking. So if you're down for that, then I say let's frickin go I'm so glad you're here before we get into any of that.
I got to share a new hype you update for you Uh hype u media is a podcast network that myself and my business partner chase started And we are full of the best shows and that list is only growing but currently our lineup of other shows is so great and has so many valuable pieces of content and things to think of and our hosts are the best and i'm bias absolutely But it's the truth one of those shows is getting magnetic hosted by my friends sandy and weighed criticities They are definitely the types of people that you want in your life like my life got better when I got to know them on their podcast It's very similar to mine and energy, but they're obviously different people and they talk about business and they talk about love and beyond and this month They're focusing on empowering different types of entrepreneurship through their own personal experiences and stories It's a really good series that they have planned for their podcast Their energy is absolutely 100 contagious and I think that anybody who is in entrepreneurship Just hearing stories of other entrepreneurs is such a motivating encouraging and confirming thing So go listen to getting magnetic. I'm going to drop a link in our show notes and then you can go and find it easier But let's get on to this episode So the past week or so I have had the honor and although it's like a very It's not a it's not a good situation And I have had the honor of supporting a friend of mine through I think probably what will be looked back on as one of the more challenging times of their life for a multitude of reasons And without going into too many details obviously about what they are going through because that is not my story to tell It's brought up a lot for me in the past couple weeks around Old versions of myself and it's so cool to see someone who is farther along in their healing journey than I was when I went through something similar and That has been a really cool part of supporting my friend through this time in their life I've also been talking to my astrologist my astrologer lately and one of the things that is coming up is around Past versions of myself or the past in general and just how I relate to the past and how aware I am of the past and old patterns and old ways of thinking and old ways of doing and being and so it's not It doesn't surprise me that I'm supporting somebody through something that is triggering parts of my past But it also is super confirming an eye opening and one of the things that I've realized and this is something that my friend And I've talked about this is also something that I've spoken about inside of my mastermind a lot Is this idea of grief or Morning or feelings of loss or feelings of anger or feelings of rage or feelings of confusion or doubt or fear Yes, whatever is currently happening in your life You will feel whatever feelings are associated with that event Of course and that is very much happening in the now and it's due to present day circumstances That absolutely is part of it and I think what we forget is that oftentimes A lot of the grief or anger or confusion or fear or sadness or loneliness or deep loss that we are feeling is Due to Morning or grieving an older version of us a version of us that maybe we had thought like no longer existed But had never been faced with it up close and personal and maybe now for the first time We're realizing just how much we are not that old version of ourselves anymore And yes, growth is beautiful. Yes setting new boundaries in your life beautiful a good thing Yes, raising your standards and you know not allowing You know not not being available for certain things or certain ways that the people treat you or certain circumstances becoming unavailable for things as you continue to grow Super beneficial and amazing and lonely as fuck it really is a very lonely thing because when we when we're going through something in the current It's almost like we wish we were still an old version of ourself and it's not like we actually feel this way It's subconsciously we are almost wishing that we were that old version of ourself who would just put up with it or deal with it Or do what I used to do in the past is just try to fix everyone so when something would happen I would take it on my responsibility to fix the situation even if it had nothing to do with me and That in the moment when you're going through something almost feels like it would be the easier Option however, you are no longer that person you do no longer have availability for that kind of toxicity in your life and Because of that your life is going to now dramatically change Because you are different because you are no longer available for that when even if in the past you were available for that you are no longer available for that so It can feel horrible and there can be a little bit of or a lot of it of grieving those older versions of us And that's what's been coming up for me This past week or two has been just remembering the person that I was And the person that I am now and what I have availability for what I have tolerance for where my boundaries sit I was not that person back then and there were so many times in my past where I would just Be I would say that's okay. Like let's find a way to fix it or that's okay Like I will be fine and let's get through this And I'm just not that girl anymore And it's funny because I've I've had this conversation with my wife breezy and she'll say to me It's insane to me that you were in a relationship with this person and that person because you would never let anyone treat you like that again Like now you would never let anyone treat you like that, which is true I'm I would never but sometimes you grieve that version of yourself that would because that person would also not be having to Completely change their life on a dime because somebody no longer deserves access to you And my friend is dealing with something very very challenging and their whole life is about to change and their whole life is about to Kind of do a 180 and there are times when this person feels like it would almost be easier If they were still an old version of themselves and they're not and because of that There is no other option.
The option is pivot Move on, right? And that's just that can be hard and I think we need to give ourselves space for that feeling and also Don't give in to that feeling because I think what happens is because we're grieving that older version of ourselves Sometimes our ego will win And when we start to grieve that old version of ourselves and have that thought of maybe it would just be easier to just let it go Or maybe it would be easier to just settle or maybe it would be easier to just Act like it didn't happen or maybe it would just be easier to push aside what I need I'm strong enough to get through it. Like I'll be fine Maybe that would just be easier And then what your ego does is it gets a hang up It gets like a hold of that information and goes, okay That's how we stay here That's how we stay safe Because if you think about it like the kind of growth where you go I'm sorry, but you no longer have access to my light because my access to my light is a privilege and you no longer deserve it That is growth like to the infinite degree That is growth and your ego is afraid of growth because it's never been there and it's like this new version of you that has never existed before So naturally your ego which wants to keep you safe aka in the same spot Is going to hear well, maybe it would just be easier if and go bingo That's the angle that we're going to go on That's how we're going to do this and then every chance it gets it's going to show you proof That you should just settle or fix things or let it go or compromise your own standards for something else And I I want you to know that that is not the right answer It is okay in those moments to go. Yeah, that would be easier and I am no longer that person So therefore it can't be that way it will not be that way Because if I am a person who has these boundaries and these requirements for the people in my life who have access to me And this situation or this person or these circumstances no longer fill those requirements Then there is no other choice But to cut the tie energetically cord cut and move on Which can feel really lonely And I think that's why a lot of times people say the healing is really lonely and it can be and it has been for me many times And what I can tell you is on the other side of loneliness is some of the most abundant truest deepest most Loving relationships you will ever have and the proof that my friend has actually Is actually experiencing that as well in real time is the fact that there is a cohort around this person full of support but not the kind of support that just Tells them what they want to hear but instead Tells them what they need to hear to be the strongest version of themselves And I am that person for my friend who is not just going to say what would feel good to hear But is going to say what needs to be said in order for strength to prevail And that's just proof that the price went up the standard went up And so if this is resonating with you the advice that I give you is let that new version of you drive Even if you're a little scared because you're a kind of a passenger princess you're a backseat driver and you like to be in charge Maybe just let this new version of you drive for a little while and don't try to you know If you think about it like a road trip, you're you're not just like Louisiana to Los Angeles in one day.
There's every single day is going to be a new adventure every single day There's going to be something else to see every single day There's going to be an obstacle to avoid on the road And I think if we just take it one step at a time one day at a time one happy moment at a time Eventually, although you won't realize it necessarily while it's happening But eventually you will end up in Los Angeles and you'll be able to go wow We just spent the 10 last 10 days driving and it didn't even feel like that because we were so present in the moment And so if you're if you're feeling this way and you're like, oh my gosh Yeah, I am grieving an old version myself and then then that that feeling of like I have to fix it comes in I'm going to say pause Don't try to fix it. Just let this new version of you continue to drive and when you feel lonely Take one step towards happiness. What is one thing you can do to feel more Joyful to feel more included to feel more involved Is it a dance class? Is it going to work in a coffee shop today?
Is it lunch with a friend, you know If you do have if you are resonating with this and you wake up and you have like sadness or just general lethargy Because by the way healing and sticking to a new version of yourself is exhausting right driving the whole way from Arizona or from Louisiana to California And not ever letting someone else drive exhausting worth it, but exhausting And so let that version of you drive and if the feelings of sadness kick in or lethargy kick in What's one thing you can do to get more energy today? Is it a hot shower? Is it a cold shower? Is it a dance class?
Is it a snuggling your children? Is it going out to breakfast? Is it switching up your scenery? Is it going on an actual road trip?
Is it taking a vacation? What is one thing you can do today to feel better and then the next day take it one day at a time If you still wake up and you're feeling something other than neutral or joy What is one thing you can do to feel better and just take it one day at a time because when you look back on this All these years later, I'm looking back on all of the things I the the versions of myself that used to exist that would put up with toxic people or places or things or circumstances or would bend myself to fit Into the box that other people projected onto me every time I look back on that I go damn It was I'm so glad that I took one step at a time I put one foot in front of the other and now this new version of me exists And there's gonna be a new version even like even more in the future like there's gonna be a new version of us all the time And just trusting that that that is the process and that all of this shit that we have to go through as humans is for us Because when it's for us, it's contributing to the ultimate version of ourself that we are on this life journey to become and It's not happening to us even though it can feel that way and in the long run the easiest option is not falling back into an old version of yourself So I know this was not business specific, but one of the things that I have been thinking a lot about lately is that I I didn't I said I didn't have a cohort around me When I got a divorce or when I broke up with my sons dad or when I quit jobs like I didn't have the cohort around me that I have now and I've spent a lot of time building that and Ultimately like that has evolved into business coaching and life stuff and like life transformation work but ultimately what I do and what I am here to do is help people lead themselves epically and to take their power back and to See themselves in the greatness in all of the greatness and the fullest expression that they are That's what I'm here for. That's what I do and I do that in a lot of different ways But it's not just business and so I am always open to working with people who are going through life transitions You do not have to have a business to work with me. There are different programs that would be better for you than others But I do have a real passion for helping people stand in their power firmly against all odds And it's an honor to be able to do that for my friend in this season of their life And I would love to do that for you as well.
So on that note I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day. We'll be back on Friday with another episode and I love you. Bye