Grieving the Future You Imagined with Dr. Maya Shankar

Who are you when the thing that defined you is taken away? What happens when the life you planned no longer exists? How do you grieve a future that never happened? Can uncertainty become a place of growth instead of fear?   In this deeply moving episode of A Really Good Cry, Radhi sits down with cognitive scientist and author Dr. Maya Shankar for an honest conversation about identity, loss, and navigating life’s most unexpected transitions. Dr. Maya is the author of The Other Side of Change: Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans, a book rooted in both science and lived experience.   Maya shares the story of her childhood as a violin prodigy — accepted into Juilliard at nine and studying under Itzhak Perlman — until a career-ending injury at fifteen forced her to grieve not just the violin, but the version of herself she thought she would be. She opens up about how losing the violin meant losing her confidence, her identity, and the future she had built her entire life around.   She also speaks candidly about her fertility journey, including miscarriage, surrogacy, and the realization that some desires are shaped by cultural expectations of womanhood. Maya reflects on how choosing to pause her path to motherhood brought unexpected peace and clarity.   Radhi shares her own experiences of identity loss — from moving to New York and no longer being able to practice as a clinical dietitian, to navigating grief after the peaceful passing of her grandmother. Together, they explore how identity can unravel when the “what” of our lives changes, and why anchoring ourselves in why we do things allows us to evolve without losing ourselves.   In this episode, you’ll learn: Why identity rooted in roles and achievements is fragile How grief shows up when we lose a future we imagined The difference between what you do and why you do it Why humans crave certainty — and how to live without it How to find safety in community instead of clear answers What the “end of history illusion” reveals about personal growth How mental time travel can help ease anxiety and fear Why witnessing human goodness can restore hope and meaning   This episode is a gentle reminder that change doesn’t mean something went wrong — sometimes it means life is asking you to become more than you planned. Follow Maya Shankar:  https://mayashankar.com/ https://changewithmaya.substack.com/p/introducing-change-with-maya-shankar https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmayashankar https://www.instagram.com/drmayashankar Follow Radhi: https://www.instagram.com/radhidevlukia/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxWe9A4kMf9V_AHOXkGhCzQ https://www.facebook.com/radhidevlukia1/ https://www.tiktok.com/@radhidevlukiaSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.