Growth Spurts and Realization
from Tea for One Hosted by Essence Pickett
We’re only growing as much as we allow ourselves to reflect. Changed behavior occurs in a brief moment where awareness and understanding meet. Our experiences and the people we meet make us who we are. I often find myself overextending my energy to be there for people and prove I am worthy of their love. And then feeling burnt out because what I do for other people, never gets returned. That’s a thing that I’m learning: all of the love, energy, and time you put into people is all a willingness. I’ll spend my life trying to get to the enlightened state by practicing exactly the thing of my existence that makes me uncomfortable: having no expectations and centering my world around I. People do things because they want to, vise versa, they don’t do things because they don’t want to. During this time, I am choosing myself. Content will be on hold while I curiously learn how not to overextend and how to do just the right amount of goodness without feeling anything. Just doing it with nothing in return. It’s hard because we expect our friends to love us, our partners to give resources to us to make us better, but this isn’t always the case and expectations are nothing like reality. Lots of deep breaths are taken. I’m 25, wanting to set my intentions on helping myself and the people who want to help themselves.
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