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Mar 18, 2026 19 min

Gurometer: Teal Swan and Scott Galloway

from Decoding the Gurus

In this Gurometer double bill, Matt and Chris break out the much-sought-after Gurometer™ to score Teal Swan and Scott Galloway across the 11 recurring guru traits. In one efficient episode, we compare cosmic-certified spirituality with secular man-talk (and a surprising amount of puffer-jacket merchandising). As a bonus, get ready to thrill at Matt's eternal puzzlement at his own simple binary question of 'guru-osity'. Links Gurometer scores to date The full episode is available for Patreon subscribers (51 mins). Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurus Gurometer: Teal Swan and Scott Galloway 00:00 Back to the Gurometer: Teal and Scott 02:33 Galaxy Brain-ness 04:18 Cultishness 05:25 Anti-Establishmentarianism 08:31 Grievance Mongering 10:55 Self Aggrandisement and Narcissism 14:30 Cassandra Complex 18:03 Revolutionary Theories 21:49 Pseudo-Profound Bullshit 26:07 Conspiracy Mongering 28:50 Excessive Profiteering 36:25 Moral Grandstanding 40:33 Overall Gurometer Score 41:27 Rapid Fire Bonus Guru Points

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Gurometer: Teal Swan and Scott Galloway

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Chapters

  1. 0:00 Back to the Gurometer: Teal and Scott
  2. 2:33 Galaxy Brain-ness
  3. 4:18 Cultishness
  4. 5:25 Anti-Establishmentarianism
  5. 8:31 Grievance Mongering
  6. 10:55 Self Aggrandizement and Narcissism
  7. 14:30 Cassandra Complex
  8. 18:03 Revolutionary Theories

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This episode was published on March 18, 2026.

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