Happy New Week!

It’s traditional to hate Mondays. The thing is, I’ve always sort of liked Mondays. As my friend Other Jane said, (after she vomited into a cup in front of a flasher on the tube) “I do apologise for being so disgusting.” Nonetheless, even when I had a Proper Job and got the Friday Foolishness and the Sunday Sadness, once Monday morning came along, I was okay. I felt sort of reborn. Here’s what’s going on: to me, every Monday is basically New Year’s Day. I haven’t made a New Year’s Resolution in decades. I’ve had too many failures: too many “Daily Diary” habits that fizzled out by the 9th of January, too many plank challenges that didn’t get past day 6. I’ve let myself down, I’ve let you down, I’ve let the whole school down too many times. But a new week resolution? Do the same thing over and over just five to seven times? That feels achievable. Every Monday is an opportunity to wash away the grizzly failures of last week and start anew. Maybe this week, I’ll be efficient! Maybe this is the week I can do admin! Maybe this week I’ll exfoliate my feet! Maybe this week I’ll do gentle parenting. Maybe this week I’ll floss! Maybe this week I will eat 30 different plants! Maybe this week I’ll remember to count to ten before I lose my temper!Maybe this week I’ll be on time! It’s A New Hope every week. Look, if you’re thinking “well she sounds unbearable” you’re not wrong. This Monday, for example, I’m absolutely smashing it on both admin and Getting Things Done. Why I could almost like myself! Don’t worry, though. By Thursday morning I’ll be back to dicking about on my phone and lolling about the house thinking “I should really go to Tesco…” and then just… not… and we’ll have Freezer Surprise (on toast) for supper again. And I’ll be angry with myself and telling myself off for just not having any willpower and not being determined and being consistent all over again. Until Monday. I’m experimenting with putting a second story in this whatever it is … let’s see how that goes. The child who is at Uni decided to play allergy roulette last week. They won in that they’re still alive, but they did have an episode of anaphylaxis. COOL! What this means is now, when they don’t answer their phone the little voice in my head that thinks that something has gone terribly terribly wrong is a little louder than usual. This doesn’t concern my kid at all, of course. They were always the kind of toddler who “didn’t get lost because I know where I was”, and they’re also the kind of neurodivergent that thinks “I’ll reply properly when I have a minute” then just doesn’t. So now I have to think of increasingly cunning ways to get proof of life out of them. So far, so good. It’s like writing clickbait. Trying to find something that will elicit a response - or even better, start a conversation. “I need to know this for a thing.” or “Do you prefer Crackers Bolognaise or Freezer Surprise on Toast?” or “What’s the name of that person who…?” So far, I’ve found out more by this method by actually asking intrusive questions like “how are you?” “How did that thing go?” So I’m chalking that up as a win. If you like this, my darlings, please can you hit LIKE on Substack? It makes all the difference. Thank you! It’s a lovely and exciting week this week as I am doing a gig with some of my actual comedy heroes: Desirée BLOODY Burch and Sara RUDDY Pascoe on Wednesday, and my solo show Louise Leigh Distracted at the Alma Tavern in Bristol. There may be the odd ticket left to the Alma Tavern gig, the other one is definitely sold out. Oh, and I’m going to Sidcup on Friday, which is a new and exciting adventure. Next week, I’m going to the North West of England - or out for karaoke on Thursday. Have a good one. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit louiseleigh.substack.com