Hard To Survive

It's bad when I truly believe that I could put the Carolina big men through a beneficial array of offensive drills for a week that could yield visible results in conference play. Who are you DJ Witwicky, one might ask? You quit basketball your senior year on an abysmal squad that went 2-24 the year prior just to chase loose women around town and make regrettable decisions, one might say. One DJ W'sOnlyInTheChat might respond, I've personally brushed shoulders with Tyler Zeller, an academic All-American equipped with the most fantastic Mikan drill a man has ever gazed upon, the world over. I've personally seen gold medalist Harrison Barnes absolutely crush a crab dribble 10 feet from my slackjawed face. The same Harrison Black Falcon Barnes that was guarding Kobe in the infamous Achilles game, the same HB that is a 4-time Iowa state champion alongside Doug McDermot. Tyler Hansbrough reffed one of my pickup games and we had a conversation about Texas ping pong once, so don't you tell me how to put the ball in the basket. Coach Jacobs would be a proud man if he saw me do those drills today. I would say he might even shed a tear but then again it's Coach Jacobs. He doesn't cry, he brings the rain. He'd snap a clipboard and yell at an unathletic freshman, I think, solely for my entertainment. I apologize, the beating that Duke handed Carolina tonight made me crab swirl in the bio. What am I even talking about this is a music show. How wicked nice is that Cascada/Country Riddim mix huh? What serves as a serenity of sound for some, I'm sure, is a superb ear beating for others. Whatever. I liked it. This ignorant never-ending description made me giggle alone in my room. Hope someone enjoyed the installment, new Coffee Stain drop coming later this week k byeee Your fav local internet disc jockey, Bing Bong Schwarsky