Has publishing ruined my reading life?

Hello and welcome to Mourning Pages, a newsletter about writing, reading, and the creative life in the midst of grief. Check out my debut novel, Doll Parts, and Accidents Never Happen (1/12/27) from Sourcebooks Landmark. Subscribing helps me continue to write and share. Thank you for being here. We’ve got audio! Below is the text version of what I recorded…with some extra stuff, including a form to fill out if you want to join the conversation. Introducing What Writers Read—a curious podcast experiment.I’ve been referencing my issues with reading for a while now, ever since announcing my book deal. Problem #1: It is hard to read while I am editing. Problem #2: It is hard to read while drafting, brainstorming, revising, proofreading, or otherwise thinking about my work.The conclusion I came to today is that my current relationship with reading isn’t just a slump or a rut. I don’t have writer’s block, but I do have reader’s block.Now that does not mean I have stopped reading completely and I certainly haven’t stopped buying new books. My reading is slower, for sure. My ability to focus, choose books, and enjoy the process is what is changing. It just doesn’t feel the same. Reading was my first love, hands down. It has been the one constant in my life since I was a little girl, memorizing the books my mom read to me at bedtime. To now currently feel at odds with this thing that has saved me (I’m not being hyperbolic—reading has saved me in more ways than I can measure) is more than just an annoyance. It feels near devastation. What keeps me from falling apart completely is my trust from years of experience that reading hasn’t left me forever. It is always there waiting for me.I have some theories on why this is happening now and it isn’t tied to my personal writing or my grading of hundreds of composition essays for my job. Publishing—and being a part of the much larger author community—is the new thing. And while I love where my publishing career is right now, I can’t help but wonder if my reading has suffered because of it.Not to sound too dramatic or ungrateful, but the curious part of me wants to get to the bottom of this issue. Do other authors struggle with reading after publishing or has their relationship with books changed? When and where do other authors make space for reading amidst blurbing and research? What books have been their lifeline during fallow periods? So, I think I’m going to start talking to other authors about it. At the very least, I hope it will help myself get unblocked, but more importantly, I’m hoping that others will find these conversations useful, too. We writers talk a lot about our writing process and though we are generally happy to share the books we love, I don’t see enough conversations about the challenges of the reading life at this stage in the journey.Stay tuned for what I think will start as a rough little Substack podcast in which I talk to other authors to see what they’re reading (while I spy on their reading habits just a little).And here’s the part I didn’t record:I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t have the right equipment or an ounce of free time to do this. I actually have zero knowledge on starting a podcast. But I think I’m going to do it anyway.The good news is that I don’t have to have a plan outside of this spark. Editing, theme music, graphics, the whole podcast network—-maybe later, maybe never. Didn’t someone around here say to start before you’re ready? Or build the bridge on your way over? Or grow your wings on the way down?You get to watch me figure this out in real time, all the bloopers and imperfections along the way. If you are interested in joining me for a conversation about what writers read, please fill out this form. I did receive a lot of responses via Notes and Instagram, which I tried to write on a loose sheet of paper to remember…but now I need to get organized. Thank you in advance!I’m still here for all the writing and updates, I promise. I’ll be back soon with all of the above.—Penny* Accidents Never Happen—out January 12, 2027!!!* Available for pre-order at Bookshop and all the other places* Add Accidents Never Happen on Goodreads* Doll Parts—out now!* On Bookshop and wherever books are sold Get full access to Mourning Pages at pennyzang.substack.com/subscribe