Hate Watching The Pickup: A Monkey, A Ring, and Zero Stakes

Send us Fan MailThe trailer had us hopeful; the movie had us baffled. We dive into The Pickup and pull apart why a slick heist premise, a stacked cast, and a veteran director still yield a comedy-thriller with no real stakes and a whole lot of shrugs. From the opening bank “meet-cute” with a drawn gun that triggers zero fallout to an armored-truck chase that looks slow because it’s shot too wide and scored too flat, we track how craft choices drain momentum and mute laughs. Eddie Murphy sets up a character with a clear goal, Pete Davidson aims for endearing idiot energy, and Kiki Palmer arrives with a revenge motive that should add pathos—yet none of it bonds into chemistry or tension.We spend time on the filmmaking: why long lenses and tighter coverage sell speed; how music should escalate emotion; and what happens when geography, cause, and effect get fuzzy. We also examine character math. Playing “dumb” requires sharp intention, but Travis quips from the sidelines while the script swears his math brain matters. Russell’s anniversary ticking clock evaporates the moment it’s convenient. A hostage check-in rule is established then never used. When consequences vanish, audience investment goes with them. Still, there are bright spots: a brutally funny run-over gag, a perfectly human “that went terribly” phone bit, Eva Longoria’s decisive car moment, and Marshawn Lynch trying to manufacture laughs out of thin air.The heist logic gets our full audit too: RFID hand-waving, casino cash tracking, schedules, and how laundering would actually work. We talk pancakes, butt jokes, and why romance beats fall flat when performance doesn’t carry the feeling. If you love action-comedy with punch and pace, this breakdown shows why The Pickup doesn’t deliver—and what would’ve fixed it. Stick around to hear what we’re watching next as we tee up a revisit of The Truman Show.Enjoyed the episode? Follow, rate, and share with a friend who loves a good takedown. Got a spiciest plot hole or favorite bad line from The Pickup? Drop it in a review and tag us so we can feature your take.Be our friend!Dan: @shakybaconTony: @tonydczechAnd follow the podcast on IG: @hatewatchingDAT