Have You Ever Blown Up Or Bulldozed a Person Or Situation?

Have you ever walked into your house or a room and felt your body talk over and you blow up and yell and scream? Ever had the experience that not even the dog was glad to see you come home? I used to walk in the house, the door I used led right into the kitchen. If the sinks had food and dirty dishes all over I would feel a emotion rise up through my body and I would bulldoze right over my children. I would take no prisoners. It took me so long to move past those reactions. There are other reactions that I have not moved past yet. When you have those feelings they are there it is because of  trauma patterns that have been automated. These patterns are not experienced in your brain; they are felt in your nervous system. Because of this you can have a pattern that runs your life and you will not be aware of it. You feel it in your body before it gets in your head. There is a concept called "ghost in the nursery." You can have experiences that you may or may not remember in your mind. But your body or nervous system remembers them.  It then plays them out later in life as your body recognizes the situation and starts the behavior without your mind's permission. Your nervous system repeats the pattern you saw. When we are triggered we can for a split second interrupt the autonomic response that the nervous system is ready to invoke. Or we can let the nervous system run its course and bulldoze the people and situation we are in. When I experienced my dad getting angry and letting go of control and hitting or kicking me. That created a pattern. The pattern can cause us to feel invisible and  powerless. The pattern can give away our power too. In fact at one point, as a teen, I told my dad I can push your buttons and take you right to the brink and then drop you like a rock right before you hit me. I was right on that pattern more than I was wrong. That gave me power in the relationship. But I also created other patterns that have not served me well and yet they have been a part of me till now. You can learn to get past these automatic reactions. For more tools contact me.