Have you ever felt a vulnerability hangover? Hinge's Love & Connection Expert explains!

It’s that wonderful time of year: When our relationships—whether new or time-tested—can get complicated. So what better time to ask an actual expert about what it means to date in these complicated times? Luckily, I had the opportunity to invite Moe Ari Brown, Hinge’s first Love & Connection Expert, to join me to answer a lot of my burning questions.To kick things off, we focused on Hinge’s new Gen Z D.A.T.E. (Data, Advice, Trends, Expertise) Report. While the cultural conversation about Gen Z dating often centers around division, Hinge’s report finds that Gen Z are still desiring connection with one another.After surveying more than 30,000 Hinge daters across identities, the latest report reveals that 84% of Gen Z Hinge daters want to find new ways to build deeper connections with the people they’re dating. However, Gen Z daters are 36% more hesitant than millennials to begin a deep conversation on the first date.This nugget stood out: “The desire for more emotional connection in dating is strong, with 84% of GenZ Hinge daters wanting to find new ways to build deeper connections with the people they’re dating.”In many ways, that’s nothing new. We all want deeper connections right? But the GenZ cohort are still struggling to do so despite so many novel ways of making connections. I asked Moe about the people he’s talked to and the research he’s looked at, why this problem persists. The answer? It often comes down to anxiety around seeming “too much” or “too intense.”I’ve been asking others about this idea of coming off as “too intense” while also wanting to be authentic and what you think about when connecting via a dating app/IRL after the initial connection, so it was fascinating to hear Moe explain it in depth. Moe and I discussed: * The sorts of invisible scripts that queer people who are dating get caught in.* How people could navigate first dates and being empathetic to the other person.* The use of voice notes to get a “vibe check” before going out on a date.* How AI can assist people to communicate their most authentic self.We also discussed the expectations. You’ll definitely want to hear what Moe said about staying in the moment for that “first kiss” energy. Although I don’t personally have to worry about going on first dates these days, I hope many people can glean some valuable lessons from Moe and my discussion. Plus, if you haven’t already read his essay that we published earlier this year about dating as a trans man and his journey to granting himself “permission to want what you’re not supposed to want,” I hope you will! Thanks to all who joined me live during the conversation! The Queer Love Project is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to The Queer Love Project at queerloveproject.substack.com/subscribe