Haven Pilot (2010)

was that the theme song yes it was I remember that at all watch this an hour before we started recording yeah two hours I don't know if that first pilot episode had a theme song but I guess it goes on to have a theme song because I also don't remember that music yeah yes theme from Haven's a professional Haven Haven we are continuing our little run of first of all welcome to the shoot the episode of King me Productions well the air of Subsidy area of King me Dan and Rob here I'm Rob I'm Dan and you know we've been mixing it's free forum Tuesday isn't that exciting Rob free forum can do whatever we want and what we want is to talk about the pilots to these Stephen King series not many series Maxi series in a podcast series we're calling the we never did decide did we no the polite pilot boys no well maybe we can get out of Dodge without having to name it let's see under is there something with like under the dome but off the dome off the dome yeah under the dome I don't know it feels like there's something with off the dome and under the dome I'm just not really quite sure how to under the podcast that should have been my original song from last week under the podcast yeah it's not too late yeah we can we can cut it in so this week we're talking about the pilot for the sci-fi channel original series from 2010 Haven five seasons you can crazy on what is going on over at the sci-fi channel it's it's it seems like a Milton from office space sort of thing totally where the FCC is just allowed it to broadcast unchecked on to yeah I mean good Lord five seasons of the show that's right and well it's technically is based on the Colorado kid technically a detective novel yeah one of the hard case files I think or hard case novels is what they're called it's like a series of detective pulp novels and we've not read that for this but yeah I have of course read the synopsis and it seems like Stephen King's approach to writing mystery novels sort of like crime novels they follow a certain formula it seems like he says to himself how could a guy be in two places at the same time and then try to figure it out what if there was a guy he was two plays at once and one places something bad happened go mmm cuz that's kind of what happens in the Colorado kid right it's like he it's this guy from Colorado turns up dead in Maine mmm and he had like a timeline of events put in there yep some like two hours before the you know like a few hours before the his untimely death and a big piece of stegen is thoroughly like that detail to it but yeah the the sort of like not really twist but the thing with that novel is that it ends without any resolution as far as I can tell they have like a theory of what could happen but it's sort of like left on undecided he just he just gives up he seems to just kind of give up yeah King I mean with writing and ending I don't know yeah yeah he's got to write one more chapter and he's just like maybe I could get away with not writing one more chapter eagle-eyed listeners will put it to put it all together or whatever I don't know yeah he's all he's all he's all he's all he's writing from the bank where he posits the checks right he's he has a check in one hand and in the other hand he's got a pen that he's writing or a recording that he's just like speaking into and then he the something else was haunted whatever the haunted mystery yeah please don't leave us a three-star review for saying all this if you if you like that we're taking the piss out let's go review us on Apple podcast five stars please and hey say you're Stephen King lend some credibility to this program we'll read it on the show hell yeah if you leave us three stars I will not read it but it will bring it up a lot so the kawano kid will bring it up as much as I think about it which is all the time all the time look we don't they don't come in as often as I'd like these reviews so the most recent one that's replayed a lot in my head the faster you leave us a positive review the sooner I can move on yeah sooner Dan if you get on with his life is destroying yeah so basically in the novel there's sort of like a passing of the torch of this mystery right there's like a young investigator and then like a couple older investigators who tell her the story of the Sun solve mystery and then with the un inconclusive ending they're sort of like where like the older guys are like with the last people alive who know about this and others you so there's like this sort of oral tradition of mystery in the world so it gets passed on to is this our main character from the show no not in fact at all completely different name yes Stephanie McCann is the character from the book whereas our main character here is Audrey Parker who right she as the five seasons of the seasons of the show progress she actually seems to play one two three four five characters oh variously credit Audrey Parker Lexi the former Audrey Parker Lexi Lexi the wit Mara and Paige did I count that wrong is a five hey that's your wife it's it might be I have to watch the show I'm not I'm not certain all right so Dan what do you think of the show so initially when we start talking about this I described it as a softcore porn without the sex scenes but yeah I think it's more accurate to say hallmark original without the Christmas mmm did you get that feeling from it yeah definitely it's like it's sort of that quality of acting and production yep yeah all the shots are weird in the same way yeah you know you know what you know also it feels Canadian I feel so fucking Canadian you know it's so why do you a production of anything and you can like when you could tell when it's like in the US and versus like in Canada or something watching something producing Canada it always feels like you're looking at a picture that's just like slightly blurry you know it's like there's something just off about this I don't know if it's like my eyes or the fucking thing no this is on them this is totally on that I on that gourley and rust I forget what movie they were talking about but it was a Canadian production and he was like I could tell every time when it's a Canadian actor Canadian actors they always look over or underbaked mean but true and yeah you start poking around in the cast and almost everybody here is a Canadian you got fucking what's it lehi from trailer park boys I've never seen trailer park boys the the drunk sort of security guard of the trailer park said trailer park he plays one of those weird brothers the weird oh oh the two brothers yeah teeds this a day if he plays Dave I liked those guys yeah you know what this kind of reminded me of and like I know we've been talking about this and I'm not trying to like just shoe horny then but like it feels a little bit like the Twin Peaks like a like a shittier version where like FBI agent has to come to this like small you know sure this is like set in a short town in Maine instead of like the Pacific Northwest East Coast Twin Peaks yeah East Coast Twin Peaks exactly to like the person that she's looking for is like dead so you know she has to then investigate that and then she meets like all these like idiosyncratic sort of I don't know people in town mm-hmm yeah I could see that it's like I had the same thought I was also thinking a little bit of ex-files just the way they set her up is like the crackpot within the FBI yeah I that was another thing I thought yeah I because like when Jillian Anderson was on like she started on the X-Files she was like 22 years old and she was like like she doesn't look old she just looks like an adult and where I feel like this actress playing the agent was Audrey Parker does not feel like an adult really like it feels like a like a Nancy Drew almost like a yeah well she's she's so like kind of like laughing at her jokes her own jokes the whole time yeah you know and also it's like if you're gonna make her like I don't know it's just a different tone right it's very it's a very light program very light program breezy oh yeah it was I found myself fighting the urge to do chores while I was watching this because that's what kind of show this is it's a new chores while it's playing in the background yeah I when I first turned it on I started watching it and then I like went to the kitchen for something I'm like I'm sure I won't miss anything and then I came back and some guys like flying through the air like oh no I did miss something yeah guys do be flying through the air in this yeah there's a the opening scene speaking of Audrey and how she's sort of like you know viewed by her boss right sure meet her we meet her boss in the opening who's got a name he definitely has a name and of course it's agent howard of course he shows up at her home to get hand her an assignment right while also telling her that she never takes any time all for something something like that yeah and she's reading like a vampire novel and he's like I hope you're not letting this influence your approach to being an FBI agent yeah and you know she has some line like is this about Miami and he says oh yeah it's about Miami I don't know if we find out what happened in Miami I mean we have to right I mean the people that ended up watching the show have to have found out is that what she's talking about with the couple oh no because that's just a pedophile and a murderer remember when they're like we're moving to Florida or whatever yeah yeah with featuring a King alum right yep from a recent King alum yeah from the dead zone right up at pilot yeah God help me I saw her call a debore debore yeah or a cold or play is what's your name she plays Susan in dead zone and she plays Marion Caldwell in this and of course Lieutenant Ezra Jackson star trek to use of course I'm glad that she was on like 72 episodes of dead zone and how many episodes of Haven was she on she just like crushing it throughout the 2000s I think so I think I think you know she looks enough like she's only on three episodes of Haven she doesn't last I'm surprised she's on more than that I would have thought she she her storyline kind of wrapped up with this right yeah sure I think she maybe just kind of looked enough like what's her name that she was getting cast and stuff Shenandoirety oh you think so they're like oh my god Shenandoirety came out for this this guest role on a sci-fi original well we got a booker yeah I mean this is also in 2010 so they probably they probably could have got already they got the real deal yeah honestly probably too busy at like conventions is something going on with your mic is your mic connected all the way I'm here in like a clinking a weird like hum hmm says I'm in you're in normally yeah all right does that do anything yeah I don't hear it anywhere all right how about now no okay now we hear it now don't worry about it so the agent Parker right she gets gets an assignment from her boss handler it doesn't seem she is not an FBI agent right come like in real life well in real life I don't think she's an FBI agent but also in this show I don't think she's an FBI agent you think something else is happening you think it's a shutter island I think it maybe it's a shutter island maybe everybody's in on it maybe that's what the whole the mystery the haunted mystery is is that she's an only she's like investigating herself what I mean she kind of is right by the end of it well yeah right with the pic she's in the picture yeah well her maybe maybe her maybe her brown hair can't be the same lady yeah they have different color hair you don't think it's possible that she is one of maybe she's a clone you don't think she's a what's that orphan black maybe it's one of those situations oh oh there's just too many of them walking around how come she has an FBI badge if she's not a real FBI agent I mean you want FBI badge I could go to the costume store right now if you read it it'll say like female body inspector but that is a type that is a type of FBI agent right yeah so she gets this assignment and she drives to this town her assignment is to track down this guy who who escaped from jail and he killed somebody in the process so they gotta find him they think he returned to his hometown of Haven we then see like you know we saw we see a picture of the guy and then like the next scene is this guy like chasing or being chased through the woods and it gets to the edge of a cliff and he says something and then he is like telekinetically thrown off of the cliff way up in the air and yeah he dies he's a dead guy so now the show's dark it's kind of dark right I mean you set up a mystery and then you immediately pull the rug out from under us I'll tell you what I'm feeling very disoriented at this point I'll tell you what 20 minutes in when they reveal to the killer was I was like I don't know what they're gonna do with the next 20 minutes of the show we already know who did it right this is an open-to-show case I might as well turn it off right now they're lucky I'm such a they're lucky I'm so interested in character development and world building because surely that's all there is left to do for these next 20 minutes what did you think when agent Parker she she like skidded off the road and ended up sort of teetering on the edge of a cliff in her car and then she still has time to make like quippy little funny jokes to a guy that's maybe gonna help her yeah this whole scene it's crazy right what what song is it again do you remember yeah I can give me two seconds it was love will keep us together level keep us together which also is playing before like well before right it's playing on like her alarm clock yeah so this song is sort of following her a la crown hug I know I mean that too but no junk you sack 1408 oh yeah what was that song we've only just begun oh yeah yeah very spooky carpenters mmm so yeah but yeah so she she's in the car and the song's playing on the radio and I think she says something like I'm not gonna die listening to this song and just like turn the radio off and the weight of her arm moving forward is enough to get the car to like sort of teeter forward she just very quickly turns it off gets gets back right where the complete it turns out it was because he's fine so then this tall drink of water shows up it's tall drink of milk from a bag of shows up Canadian fella yep yep and they this is their this is fully a meet you yes they are just trading quips back and forth yeah he pokes his head on the path in the like through the passenger window and he's like hey you need any help and she says in like a sarcastic way like no I think I got it and he says okay and then he walks away and then she's like hey wait a minute and then he comes around the driver's side opens the door gets her out well first he does like a could you roll the window down yeah yeah and he does a little yeah she says you have any great coupon that's a hundred year old reference and then she says you know I just push the car forward you know what never liked that would have been a good one they should throw in I should have shit I should have written hey then show over yeah she gets out of the car the car falls over the cliff and they watch it like fall in presumably explode and then the the the sky sees that she has a gun like under her jacket so he pulls a gun out on her and then she pulls a gun out so they've guns on each other and he's like who are you and she's like who are you and she goes to flash she says I'm FBI says I'm a cop she says well let me show you my badge and reaches into her jacket he's like don't move hands up I did like this line she's like what am I gonna do pull out another gun yeah that was actually I was a pretty good one yeah so you know they stand down and we we're introduced to officer Nathan Warhouse played by Lucas Bryant who Luke Brian everybody knows you that is Brian's it's a country singer kind of name right it is not in Canada not to be not to be confused with Brian Brian Luke or Brian Kyle or Luke Kyle Luke Ryan Luke at Brian look at Brian any of the John Larry Cat not to be confused with any of these famous country singers John Larry Cat Harry Anderson any of the cats in my court so you know I mentioned the Hallmark thing a few recent roles of Luke Brian's yeah well he played Matthew Jamison and sorry he played Matthew in he's in the angel tree that's a hallmark original is that oh yeah oh yeah this guy it's lousy with Hallmark movies yeah yeah I mean that's like that is the Canadian Entertainment sweatshop to this I really I want to get involved in like the Hallmark like movie system there's one it just you always work like you know what I mean like you just no matter what like department you work in you are just constantly working all you need is Canadian citizenship it's like a jobs program if you if you're unemployed they will set you up with work in the Hallmark system yeah they have like you will star in a Hallmark movie right you'll base a Hallmark movie around you yeah no I think that would be a fine fine way to make a living working in Hallmark films it's honest work come right covered in soda every day you know I just like you get a right by two o'clock and you're like I got it no problem do you think like yeah see here's the thing chat GPT you know like AI stuff there's a lot they can replicate but they will never catch up to the writers of Hallmark movies yeah they're just working too fast yeah the writers of Hallmark movies can work faster than AI that's right that's right how many times do you think though like the Hallmark writers room that like big room that big warehouse yeah all these guys are sitting right in their movies right how many times do you think they've accidentally written a Shakespeare play just through sheer yeah right and now this blurs in time guys just banging away at their typewriters well that seems like a King Lear 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we'll give you a little cheers and acknowledgement I'll be well I'll have like five lined up in front of me I'll just be knocking them back you just put it between your fingers and like yeah so that's your right you have seven days the game is a foot see if you can do it that's any challenge yeah and we will see you after the break