Having Control at the End of Life | Holding Space for Death with Stephanie Murray

Reducing suffering is a deep, innermost urge as a human. To be able to end needless suffering, that is a gift, one we’d want for our loved ones, and one our loved ones would want for us.Today’s guest, Stephanie Murray, is a Volunteer Client Adviser with End of Life Washington, and she provides that gift for the terminally ill and their loved ones. When it comes to planning, it makes sense to work with someone who has both the knowledge to build a plan, and the experience to know how to address when the plan goes sideways. A combination of expertise and improv. Those two things are what Stephanie draws upon. And for her clients, it’s the last plan that they will make. It’s one that gives them one last bit of control when they are losing all remnants of control. In this episode, Stephanie answers the following questions:- What is medical aid in dying?- What is the medical aid in dying process and legal requirements?- What does it take to perform medical aid in dying services?- Is it possible to end suffering?We don’t talk enough in the West about death, which is odd considering it’s what’s ahead for all of us. The one thing we all have in common, the great uniter, and yet, we remain silent. This is why I think it’s amazing that there are people like Stephanie who are there to help us through something we have little experience in, don’t want to talk about, and have very little control over when seemingly everyone around us has a strong opinion about it…even if we don’t talk about it.Can you think of a greater gift in life than giving someone who is losing control, the last experience of control they may have? Especially, when it is to alleviate suffering?  My favorite quote from the episode: “People say there are two certainties in life: death and taxes. You can avoid taxes.”What I know to be true about the episode: The ability to hold space for ending suffering is a tremendous gift. And Stephanie’s ability to hold that space for both her clients and their loved ones is truly inspirational. What I learned from the episode: Only 11 states in the U.S. allow medical aid in dying. According to American Clinicians Academy on Medical Aid in Dying, only 22% of Americans have access to medical aid in dying services.As of December 2023, medical aid in dying is legal in eleven jurisdictions: California, Colorado, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Montana, Maine, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington.Resources mentioned in this episode:- End of Life Washington: https://endoflifewa.org/ - American Clinicians Academy on Medical Aid in Dying: https://www.acamaid.org/ - Documentary: Bob’s Choice: Why a Seattle man chose death with dignity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOG6i2Mfu7E  If you enjoyed this episode, please share this episode with one other person. Thank you!Music in this episode created by Ian Kastner. "What Do You Know To Be True?" is a series of conversations where I speak with interesting people about their special talent or superhero power and the meaningful impact it has on others. The intention is to learn more about their experience with their superhero power, so that we can learn something about the special talent in each of us which allows us to connect more deeply with our purpose. "What Do You Know To Be True?" is hosted by Roger Kastner, is a production of Three Blue Pens, and is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Duwamish and Suquamish people. To discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people whose land you may be on, go to: https://native-land.ca/