He Lost His Brother, Then Lost Himself

After a traumatic loss, like the death of someone we love, it can be tempting to avoid the hard work of grieving. Instead of facing that pain, people often try to numb it through drugs, alcohol or acting out. Others throw themselves into distractions, anything to avoid what’s really going on underneath. For today’s guest on Grieving Out Loud, Hakeem Bourne McFarlane, that outlet was sports.After his younger brother died from cancer at just six years old, Hakeem poured everything he had into athletics. On the surface, it looked like a positive path forward. But he says it was really a way to avoid his grief. Along the way, he also put intense,  and ultimately unhealthy, pressure on himself to succeed in his brother’s name.But what happens when the thing you’ve been using to hold it all together suddenly disappears? The grief is still there, and now there’s nothing left to outrun it.In this episode, Hakeem shares how an injury and substance use pulled him away from sports, forcing him to finally confront the pain he had been carrying for years. Now, he’s using that experience to help hundreds of others rebuild their lives through small, consistent steps and accountability.Learn more and explore Hakeem's website here. Related episodes:How to Live With Grief, Not Be Defined By ItWhen Men Don’t Cry: Confronting the Culture of Silent GriefCoping With Grief and Choosing Life After TragedySend us Fan MailBehind every number is a story of a life cut short, a family shattered, and a community devastated.They were...daughterssonsmothersfathersfriendswiveshusbandscousinsboyfriendsgirlfriends.They were More Than Just A Number. Support the showConnect with AngelaFollow Grieving Out LoudFollow Emily's HopeRead Angela’s BlogSubscribe to Grieving Out Loud/Emily’s Hope UpdatesSuggest a GuestFor more episodes and information, just go to our website, emilyshope.charityWishing you faith, hope and courage!Podcast producers:Casey Wonnenberg King & Kayli Fitz