He Wanted a Man - Instead He Got Me: My First Engineering Internship Nightmare

Recording this from our Airbnb in Alaska after an already chaotic trip. We landed at 9:30 PM, got to bed around 11, then woke up at 4:30 AM to hike 9.5 miles with 3,500 feet of elevation gain. With rain coming later in the week, we figured: if today is the day, then today is the day. Sometimes you don’t wait for perfect conditions - you just go.One of my favorite Alaska discoveries? You can rent bear spray… at a 24‑hour coffee drive‑through. Only here can you grab a latte and prep for a bear encounter. Bear spray is basically pepper spray with significantly more enthusiasm, and they even make practice versions, so you don’t learn how it works while a bear is charging at you. We practiced at home because you obviously can’t fly with the real thing.Being here reminded me of another environment that felt hostile - except instead of bears, it was my first engineering internship.I was nineteen. Almost every lunch break, I’d lock myself in a bathroom stall and cry - not because engineering was hard, but because the people were. On day one, my boss’s assistant, Trish, pulled me aside and said something I’ll never forget:“Gary didn’t want to hire you. He wanted a man. He doesn’t think you’re going to amount to anything.”Welcome to the company.The office felt like a sitcom: poodles roaming around, a thirty‑year‑old coworker asking me out, and Gary - the owner - who believed yelling was a management strategy. He wasn’t subtle. If he had an opinion, you heard it. Usually loudly. Usually directed at women.At nineteen, I thought maybe this was normal. Maybe every office felt like this. It took years to understand the difference between a workplace that challenges you and one that chips away at your confidence.The bathroom became my safe place. I’d cry quietly, wipe my face, and walk back out pretending everything was fine. My dad drove me to work every morning and immediately disliked Gary. Every day I begged my parents to let me quit. Every day they said no. Later they told me they knew I was safe, the internship had an end date, and learning to work with difficult people would help me later. I didn’t appreciate that then. I do now.The worst moment? The Excel incident. I was presenting graphs and data I understood well. Gary stopped me and said, “That’s wrong.” I explained why it wasn’t. He doubled down: “That’s not how Excel works.” When I calmly walked him through it again, he threw his hands up in front of the entire office and yelled:“I’m not talking to her anymore! Christine doesn’t exist!”Nobody looked surprised. That told me everything.Near the end of the internship, Gary took us to tour a friend’s car garage. I wasn’t rude - I just wasn’t pretending to be fascinated. On the drive back he said, “You didn’t seem very grateful.” For what, exactly? After a summer of criticism, I wasn’t performing gratitude for someone who hadn’t treated me professionally.Then came my last day. Gary called me into his office. I braced for one final lecture. Instead he said:“You were the best intern I ever had.”It didn’t erase the tears or the anxiety, but it taught me something: people often decide who you are before they meet you. Reality eventually rewrites their story.That internship shaped how I lead today. People don’t forget how you make them feel. One bad manager does not get to decide whether you belong. One toxic workplace does not define your future. Sometimes the problem isn’t you. Sometimes it’s just Gary.Youtube: @shesseensomeengineeringshitIG: @shesbeenthroughsomeshit