Hello and welcome to the gifted life podcast where we have conversations about organ tissue and I know nation and I know we feel I'm Joey Boudreau. I'm Sally Gentry and we are all smiles guys. Thank you so much for teaming with us for listening and mostly for sharing the information that we have here on the gifted life. I'm excited because we always talk about this podcast being a learning tool for so many.
We learn from each other. We learn from our partners across the country. We get to introduce you to someone new. Yeah, we're so proud of what we do here or our family support, family services department, how many things we do for them.
Right. It's always good to learn about what our other colleagues and the other parts of the nation do for theirs. Today is Karen Hannes. She is their family support person.
We're going to hear a little bit about their celebration of life monument and what sort of grief support services they provide to their family. Nice things going on in Utah. You'll hear all about it right here. Maybe that will inspire you.
Our goal is to get you to share this. We try to make it as easy as possible or as Joey says easy. Yeah, that's it. You can always find us.
Of course, you can find us on Apple Podcast, Google Play or whatever your favorite podcast app might be. And please don't forget, if you like us, don't forget to rate and subscribe to us. Nice. Also, they gifted life.org.
That's kind of easy to remember. They gifted back. Dot org guys. Donate Life, Louisiana.
A lot of what we talk about here on the podcast, you'll see their pictures more information. Also Twitter and Instagram, we're at Donate Life, LA. Easy peasy Joe. Hey, hey, don't forget, you can call us too.
You almost forgot that, don't you? Okay. So give us a call. Five, zero, four, six, four, eight, three, four, seven, seven.
We could use your audio here. You're our partner and our goal is to make life happen to spur those positive conversations. So I'm ready to do it. Are you guys?
Yep. Let's do it. Here on the Get to Life, we are honored to introduce you to Karen Hannes, donor family services director for Intermountain donor services. That is in Utah.
So we're prepping for this interview and I'm like, I'm liking what they're doing. Very nice. And Sally said, yeah, she's nice, the donor forever. It's your friend.
It is. Karen has been very close also, not just for five, she might, but on a personal level. And many, many years ago, my grandson needed surgery, went out to it. Was it Children's Hospital, right?
Primary Children. Had surgery there. I called Karen, she went over, spent some time with them. And so I've been grateful to her forever.
It's awesome. We liked you before, but yeah, now you're part of the fan, Karen. Yeah. Thank you.
We like to learn from our partners about what's happening and how you're selling us some pretty neat stuff happening in Utah. So Karen, tell us what you do as far as your support to your donor families, any sort of pieces of information that you think our listeners would like to hear about that you do there. Sure. We provide a kind of a comprehensive bereavement program, which also includes, I believe, one of the best things we do is we have a way of honoring our donor families and their loved ones who are donors.
And kind of the basics is that we send out a bereavement packet within a few weeks after the death. And then we also send out follow up letters for two years after that, just reminding people a little bit about the grief process. For me, they're a way of normalizing what people might be experiencing and feeling, and especially at a time when their friends and family might be telling them it's time to move on. And then, you know, Karen, she went over this yet and we sent out a letter that says, actually, no, this is a time that you may start feeling it even more.
And we often get thank yous for those because it just normalizes for them what they're feeling and makes it feel less scary for them. And so we send that out. And then we also, I'm a licensed clinical social worker, so I do provide the ability to provide counseling. We don't do that as much here, even though I'm available to talk to families or individuals if they need a little support.
One of the unique things about Salt Lake and Utah in general is that it has a real strong mornin' population. And they themselves provide a lot of support to their members. And so that's something that often people who are strong in that faith will turn to as a way of getting support. But we also have two support centers for children in this area within a, oh gosh, 20-mile radius.
That's great. And so it provides support to people north of Salt Lake as well as south of Salt Lake. And one center provides support immediately after the death that somebody needs that. And the other waits six months, which is can be common for centers to do that.
Do you tell families this is available? Yes. What we try to do is we have our family support coordinators. We'll talk with the families.
For organ donors, they talk face-to-face. And then with our tissue donor families, they talk to them on the phone. We have them talk a little bit about in general what is going to be provided afterwards. And of course, people don't remember that.
So we follow up a lot with our letters and with a little booklet that gives them that information. And also encourage them to call me if there's anything I can help with. Also I realize that the majority of people are not going to call because they just can't pick up the phone. And we do some outreach as well as far as, I would say, maybe triaging families that need the most help will reach out to.
And then we also, just through the amount of recipient correspondence that we receive, we're able to contact a lot of families directly and always check in with them on how they're doing. So we try to make, to answer a question, we try to make it well known that these options are available in Salt Lake. And then on top of the children's center, we also have something called Caring Connections, which is offered through the University of Utah College of Nursing. And they have been around as long as I've been with IDS for 18 years.
And they have been around that long as well. And they offer comprehensive professional run support groups. And they utilize master's level and PhD level social workers and psychologists to run the groups and also offer different types. They have groups for people who have died through suicide, also through overdose, which is endemic in our areas, well as many areas in the United States.
And also offer Spanish speaking groups. How do you identify families that you think are in more need or more vulnerable? How do you reach out to who identifies them for you? Or is that something that you as a licensed social worker, C, or the information that comes to you?
Yeah, a couple of different ways. The family support coordinators, one right now our program is just starting using that type of program in the past for organ donation and consent was done by all of our nursing staff coordinators. And we now have a social worker in Chaplain and will be hiring somebody else within that field. So they spend a lot of time initially with the family who, of someone who's going to be an organ donor and they give me the heads up that this family might be needing a little bit more support than others.
And we also get that information from our tissue coordinators. And then on top of that, I read through every case, believe it or not, do a quick run through that gives a highlight for the family support system. And through that, I'm able to identify that as well. Karen, I have a couple questions to follow up on a couple of things that you mentioned.
You talked about how previously it was more the coordinator that provided the support and you guys went to a kind of a different model that included Chaplain and social worker. And I think you said a nurse. It's still one on one support in that acute grieving phase or is it a combination multiple people involved? So just to clarify too, the support that used to be provided by the coordinators and the reaching out to families was done just during the case itself.
And so after the case, after everybody's left, the donation has occurred, the organs have been transplanted, our team would step in. And a lot of times people call it aftercare, just to distinguish the difference. And every family who goes through the organ donation process has an individual who is working with them. Now it may be, sometimes the cases can go on for several days, if not more.
Not always, but sometimes it does. And so that means that at some point it's not always the same person supporting them. But they strive to have one person working with the family the whole time. Also the other thing that is kind of unique in our area, I think when I talk with other OPOs is that the hospitals, the transplant centers where the donor families are, they have exceptional support through the social work staff as well up there.
So I guess I wouldn't say one individual, it is kind of a team approach. And you also, you touched upon that you get an overwhelming number of recipient letters. And of course, we strive to provide or facilitate that correspondence between the recipients and donor families. Is there something that you guys do differently to improve those correspondence?
I think we do now. I've always had information available, handout sort of thing that we have encouraged transplant centers to provide to their recipients, which talks about writing. But a couple of years ago, I was at a conference and someone just briefly mentioned a writing kit as something that they use to gift to recipients that talks a little bit about the importance of writing to their donor family and gives them information about that. And I thought, wow, that sounds like a good idea.
And we had a local transplant center that wanted to do that as a goal. So in other words, we developed the writing kit. We looked at one from Gift of Life, my friend, Laram, already shared that with me. And we looked at theirs and theirs is nice.
And it also, they have a strong volunteer department. And so it's geared towards letting people know about that. And what I wanted to focus on was specifically, this is your writing kit. If you want to write, this is what it's all about.
And so we had a graphic artist develop it and it is beautiful. It's just a small box colorful as the word heel on the outside. And the reason for that is to recognize that a recipient needs to heal. And that's part of their process.
And that symbolically for us, we feel from hearing and talking recipients that it allows them to heal if they just write that one letter. And sometimes it puts them in touch with the donor families for a longer period of time. But sometimes it's just about the one letter. And so the writing kit has information kind of working against the idea in a recipient's mind that it's going to harm the family if they write, totally flows that myth out of the water.
It talks about how important it is, how helpful it is. And we also understand that one of the hardest things is to just start by writing and not having the words. So we within the kit, we also provide a sample way of writing. It's called a sample letter, but it isn't something that somebody copies.
It just gives them some words that they might be able to start with, including the hardest one is I have thought about writing for a long time. And I've never been able. And once people realize they can actually write that down, it just opens the floodgate. And it's amazing the letters that we get now, they're more from the heart.
And we've increased exponentially the amount of letters that we've been receiving. So it's been a phenomenal thing. That is amazing. And one thing I do want to add to you talking about the recipients and it's a healing process for them and the donor families.
Yes. One of the things that we have found out too is that we've actually had recipients go back to their transplant doctors, social work staff, coordinators and say, best thing that ever happened to me was writing this letter, talking with my donor family or actually meeting my donor family. I feel better about myself and physically. And from some research that I've looked into is that this is really a therapeutic healing process, not only just mental health speaking, but physically speaking for them too.
Yes, absolutely. And that's a great point that you brought up because the person at the transplant center that was helping us support this idea firmly believe that at some point they can even test whether that helps improve how the recipient does overall, including with compliance of meds and taking care of themselves. And she feels strongly about that. And I agree completely.
I've seen it's like this sense of calm and peace comes over them after they've done that and realized what and I always respond when I get a letter and I respond back to the social workers saying, please let this recipient know how much this is going to help the family and how grateful they are for it, even if they never hear back from them. I'm talking to Sally, like I'm so calm now, like I'm hyper, but I'm calm listening to your boys, Karen. I love that. All right.
So 18 years of the donation field, we were prepping for the interview and I have to know about this monument. You called it unique. You called it your jewel in Utah. So please listen.
What we have, we call it the celebration of life monument and it is located downtown Salt Lake. So if you ever visit Salt Lake, can you go to the main library downtown, which itself is an architectural jewel that people travel to Salt Lake to see, our celebration of life monument is on that block. And so the monument itself is in a small park like area. We have this beautiful Italian made fountain, which goes on and off throughout the day.
The monument is made up of 20 glass panels and it has kind of a flowing, almost like a river or a serpentine type shape. And that is just symbolic of the ripple effect of donation. And each name that's on there has been a name that has been submitted by a donor family loved one. We don't automatically put the names on the wall.
We again, let the families know about the wall and send a submission form and then they can have their loved ones name put on the wall. The names are put on once a year and then we have a ceremony at the end of August every year that celebrates the wall, the donors and brings usually the last three years have been about 1200 people show up. That's neat. We're actually looking at photos of the monument in your photo gallery on your website, IDSlife.org.
So if you're listening and you want to see what you're talking about, really beautiful. Great job. So 18 years in the donation field, donation to you means what? I probably have a viewpoint that's different from a lot of people.
I, of course, am always humbled and aware of how many lives are being saved and how lives are improved. I had early on in the late 80s, I had a friend that had a heart transplant and I was with him during that time period. But for me, donation is really about helping families who are trying to make sense of their loved one's death and it's senseless. And somehow their loved one being a donor and being able to be a donor helps bring just a little piece.
And I mean a piece to them, but literally a sense of piece that their loved one has been able to help somebody and made a difference in somebody else's life. And I think by highlighting those people on our monument as well is something that I am really honored to do and that something also that is what keeps me going all this time is seeing what a difference it makes in people's lives. Right. I often talk to Sally about that.
Tell me all these years in. I like that answer. You and Sally are similar. I love it.
That's a good thing, Karen. We love it. We're all sisters. And thank you for your time.
We thank you for what you do with people want to learn more about your donor family services. Do they just go to your website? Yeah, that's the best way. They can go through our website.
They can also go to yes, Utah dot org and that is registered to be a donor, but also gives a lot of stories and information and a link to they can email me as well through those websites. All right. So I DS life ID s life dot org or yes, right Utah dot org. All right.
Miss Karen, we appreciate you. Thank you so much. So get to like podcast is all about learning and during each episode, we learned from Sal and of course we have our very own mental health professional here in the studio. Sally Gentry.
So Sal, what are we talking about today? Hey, Joey. Well, today we're going to talk about suicide among women ages 45 to 64. And I know this is not a real uplifting or upbeat sort of conversation, but I think it might be of interest or help to folks due to the fact that the CDC shows through their research and what they are reporting that it has suicide rates of search 60% among women in this age bracket.
And there's no group of women other group that saw higher suicide rate and among men, only those 75 and over had a higher rate. So this is pretty alarming statistics, not only in the fact that suicide rates are increasing over the years and people just not quite sure how to handle this or how to tackle the problem. But unfortunately, it just seems that life satisfaction is that basically an all time low during that middle age period. Some of the factors contributing to this is depression that may not have been treated over the years.
There may be substance abuse issues that people were using or women were using to help medicate themselves. It's that a woman is juggling through her life of kids, taking care of a family, working outside inside the house. And you know, Lori, with multiple children and all those other responsibilities, sometimes it can really just be. Yeah, be well made.
Yeah, that's right. So I think what happens also, according to the CDC, is that these rates are recorded rising in every state. So it's just not in particular segments of society or parts of the country. It's an overall increase.
And one of the things that they also looked at is, you know, it could be the back of women going through menopause. And during that time, you know, there's different chemical changes that occur in the body, but also in the brain, which can just cause an individual not to be able to adapt to these chemical changes that are going on. And it's really through no one's fault or through the fact they don't want to care for themselves. It's just, I think we've turned into a society that's so much pressure to, I've got to do well.
I want people to think well of me. I want you to think I'm still capable of doing all the things that I did at a younger point in time. And I think just the overall stress of everyday living can vary, you know, wear one down, if you will. So, you know, why all this is happening with the suicide rates?
I mean, we talked earlier about the opioid problems and, again, substance abuse issues that can really precipitate more action towards suicide. But I think that, you know, if you have untreated depression that over the 40s, 50s, 60s, that it does eventually catch up to you unless you're able to find that peace of mind or able to look at yourself and really view your life as an added component that is very positive. And I know we've talked about that on multiple occasions, about remaining positive and telling yourself because I think the inner dialogue for most people is we tend to put it on the outside. What are you thinking of me?
What do you think about me? What if you don't like me rather than saying I like me, I care about me, you know, I do value what you think, but not as much as what I value, what I think about me. And I think that's probably part of the issue there too. I'm noticed on social media, especially after maybe there's a celebrity suicide, I see suicide talked about more because growing up to me, you don't talk about that.
And now it seems like more people are sharing and they're sharing their experiences like this happened in my family. Here's how I was impacted on the other side. Right. And I'm trying to see folks helping one another.
That's not within their brain at that point. You don't know what they're dealing with. Right. But I think on social media, especially you see more of those talks, especially after something makes the headline a lot, which makes it, you know, I read those great learn, right?
And I think too, what happens sometimes is when individuals, someone takes their life in the family unit that many times families are going, what just happened here? Why did I not see this? I should have known. And sometimes the signs are there.
It's just that we're so accustomed to being around our family members that unless it's something real outrageous, we just say, oh, well, you know, that's how Lori is. That's how Joey is. We don't stop taking to account women. Now this is sometimes you see, like, you know, kids that are really having difficulty in school or maybe one of your coworkers is going through a very stressful time and divorce, a breakup, a death of a child, a death of a spouse, whatever the case may be.
And I think a lot of that is the added stressors as time goes on. Then when a woman gets to be this age range and again with the hormonal issues, then it just is too much for them to deal with. So all you do say, help. I would be in that age range myself.
Of course, I've got siblings, a lot of friends in that same age group, colleagues, coworkers, are the things that I should be looking for or clues that maybe I could be picking up. And second, if I was someone and that was feeling that way, what options are there for her? Okay. Well, first, I think if you notice someone that seems overly depressed, missing a lot of work, very careful.
If you hear a talk about giving away things or saying things like it just isn't worth it anymore, those are some of your telltale signs there. And some of them are not nearly as overt as that. Many times people will say, you know, I'm finished, I'm through. And that's kind of a real major sign right there for you.
And you know, there's a suicide.org that has a lot of information and also a national suicide hotline. And that number is 1-800-273-8255. If somebody thinks that there's someone that they need to get help for or for themselves to reach out. All right.
Great information. Great topic. Maybe you have a topic that we want Sally to cover, info at lopa.org. All right, guys, as we do in every podcast, we always pause to honor a hero.
The hero today is Kevin Reed. We learn more about Kevin from his family. Kevin Bernard Reed was truly a remarkable person. He was a loving son, supportive brother, and a loyal friend.
He may not want enemy, always bringing happiness and laughter to those in his present. A phenomenal athlete, Kevin fought hard on the football field at Dutchtown High School and always stood firm for what he believed in. Life has not been the same since he gained his heavenly wings. We miss so many things about him, the laughs, the singing, and dancing.
Him eating our leftovers, robbing us out of our phone charges and all of his silly antics. We find peace in knowing that he is with our Father in heaven, such a selfless person, though he did not have any children of his own. Through the gift of organ donation, he is blessing others with a second chance of life. If you'd like to learn more about Kevin, you can read more about his story and see his picture on our heroes page at lopa.org.
At this time, we pause and say thank you to Kevin for the gift of life. In our Q&A segment, we've got a question from one of the listeners who wrote in, and this is certainly not clinical, so I'll throw this to you guys. I had a doing life comfort stone and lost it. Where can I find another?
We have an answer for you. Do you? For those of you who don't know, because Sally and I were talking about this, a comfort stone was created by a clinician as a token of compassion for family suffering the loss of a loved one. We were talking about comfort stones made of blue and green clay.
Mixers glitter has a red card on it, and so they carry it around. Like a memento, right? You can find that and other donate life merchandise at donation. Let me say that again, because it was easy for me the first time, right?
Donation merchandise dot com. That's where the public can go to purchase donate life branded goods. Just a quick look, you'll find Pfizer's lunchboxes, pins, tank tops, t-shirts, yoga pants, a few flags, mugs, ornaments, as we approach the holiday season, a lot of folks look for those. There's just lots of different things, lots of t-shirts with different taglines on the t-shirts that are volunteers like to wear.
So donation merchandise dot com, you can shop from the comfort of your own home. And if that's something that you would like to bring home, like a button, it's as easy as that donation merchandise dot com. Maybe you have a question for us info at lopa dot one. Another great podcast in the books, guys.
Yes, indeed. And we thank Karen Hannes for sharing her 18 years of experience and family services with us because we're always looking for new ideas that maybe we can provide our families to. Yeah. It's great, no matter where our partners are, we seem to have a personal connection to us in some way, shape or form.
So Karen with you and your grandson is just amazing, just good people working towards the same goal, making life happen. That's what we do here. So maybe we inspired you, register me dot org if you are not signed up to be a donor. We hope that you choose to check that out today.
Learn the facts, share the podcast, and we do hope that you go out and do something that you would normally do to help us make life happen because you can do it. You're part of the team. Thanks for listening. This is a production of the Louisiana Organ for Cerman Agency, or Lopa.
The Gifted Life is hosted by Lori Steele, Joey Boudreau, and Sally Gensory. Our producers are Kirsten Hines and Shalom Caraway. We are recorded, engineered, and mixed in our metery Louisiana studio by Troy Perez.