Welcome to welcome We've got a lot more is a couple more pinash than that Well, I can't yeah, yeah, well come to Space baddies in space our well first of all it's a king reproduction. Let's get that out of the way right off front of course We're going through some of the great So the great horror franchises, and then that's so great ones. That's so great So that's so great ones and we're looking at guys in space On a long enough time line in space first what guy first big guy that we first everybody else has been little guys Oh my god, you're right. They're getting bigger as it goes on and they'll continue to they will continue to the very end Yeah, who knew that we were actually going in height order here Hellraiser colon bloodline the fourth hell razor movie.
Yeah It's a journey through time when you say it's not just a joke It's actually mostly not a space movie It's mostly not a space movie which I think is probably for the best I would have liked to have seen maybe an entire movie in space, but also it probably I think that this movie does some like weird fun stuff So I'm kind of into the Crossing oceans of time. Yeah, I couldn't believe how much juice this picture had right for the fourth movie You know obviously we're grating on a curve course, but there's juice. There's to be fair I think like you know with critters for in leprechaun for in space. We were both like this is like dumb Yeah, well sure yeah, you know leprechaun in space had a couple moments that were like weird and funny and whatever But like I would say critters had none of those moments, right?
Yeah, we're like yeah, this is whatever I think I think this definitely has some juice to it Yeah, we're at the we are cooking with gas. Yeah, there's not a lot of gas, but there is gas there is gas This is the last movie that they really guess is a kind of juice. Yeah, exactly. It's It's just for your car.
Yeah, I think in Mad Max they call it juice at certain points, you know is that right? Yeah, the guzzoline the guzzoline of course a beautiful name for a baby girl guzzoline Yeah in the wasteland. I'm gonna name my daughter guzzoline What were you gonna say? No, this is the last movie that's released at theaters after this they're basically straight to video And but my god do they just keep coming yeah, this was supposed to be the last one with Pinhead being destroyed.
Yeah, and then they were like we're gonna keep going who cares and Nobody nobody cared at all. So you keep going who cares I was surprised to see this is like the first time I think I recognize the Production cards in one of these that we've watched so far because they go on for a long time I think well, I mean the title cards that whole the yeah, the credits at the beginning that was insane I I literally had to fast forward and I was like this is I feel like this is going on forever You want to know something funny is I didn't fast forward because I was like I bet Rob doesn't fast forward Rob doesn't care It's times worthless to him My time is worthless, but I get bored easy. That's not that's not true Well, that's what pains me so much about it, but okay That's good to know that I'm allowed to fast forward when something like that happens I didn't know that you know what's funny is that is also how a razor three call in hell on earth starts is with an insanely long Title seat wait. Did you watch I'll raise your three not all of it I watched maybe the first like 20 minutes just to get like a bit of flavor Okay, and that in the tradition of like again like the the trajectory of horror franchises.
That's hell razor That's pinhead in the big city. It's pinhead in the city Pinhead in the club in the So did you did you get to the part where he starts making other centabytes no all right now I'm only on Terry Farrell chasing down leads in the club. Oh, Terry Farrell being the lead Yeah, maybe a reporter of some sort she is she is a reporter. Yeah I tell you her cameraman doesn't go well for him.
No doesn't look doesn't look he's too loyal to her That's how you know he's going down. He's going down hard and that's not to say he's like he shouldn't be loyal Yeah, but he's going down he's going down She she's also in deep space night. I forget if she turns up in TNG as well. All right as Jadzia Dax Some possibly look forward to if you ever make it to deep space night when I'm 55 years old Maybe I get to when you're 55 years old you'll be on season two Of TNG yeah, yeah now on Friday I believe you'll reveal to me that because we're calling out of order here on Friday I believe you'll reveal to me that you're somehow only six episodes in yeah, it's a season one correct God it just isn't telling you this man.
You're gonna turn a corner and you're gonna be like again again more You're right It's like okay from from what people said even you you're like well the first like two seasons of next generation are like just okay Which is fine. I like it, but I'm not like hooked in where I need to mainline it. You know what I mean So I'm just like I'm enjoying it for what it is and it's like a nice thing to have on to just sort of everybody's kind of like polite to each other and polite and quiet yelling no one's yelling I like that it's good show for babies also And I'm a fucking big baby. So what I'm realizing maybe is that the fact that I watch this like during peak lockdown So watching a bunch of people trapped in a ship be very polite and not mad That they're stuck in the ship right that might have an effect on your view that helps yeah, I'm sure it did okay hell razor Three oh yeah, three anything else does is there any sort of like continuity of story not that I really remember?
There's no like no brother Frank or Julia or anything like that. This is like a whole new thing. There's a Well, so three I understand ends with a building that looks sort of like the puzzle box correct Yeah, which is like you know, I guess you could say that's sort of like a lead into this Kind of whether it was designed by the world-renowned architect John Merchant. We don't know for sure John merchants Yeah, father of dr.
Paul merchant of course Paul dr. Paul merchant the year 21 27 Here good year Kevin How do you say that name yeah, yeah, oh yeah probably ager yes, it's a special effects guy Worked on the neuron L Street worked on child's play only directed two movies. No one movie. Oh and He's credited as Alan Smithy Ah, so now it's a joint one of my favorite filmmakers.
Yeah, I am DB Like towards the bottom whatever there's like a thing for alternate versions and this had like a million different cuts to it Because the studio was like they don't get it whatever part of it I guess Originally there it didn't have the sort of the thing where what's the guy's name again? Dr. Paul merchants was retelling the story It just sort of picked started in France. Oh and then went you know to present day and that would have been You know that's funny because there does seem to be a bit of spite in the moment where you know He's like being held captive by like the space police or whatever Yeah, and as he's being interrogated.
He's like if I tell you the entire story. Will you let me go about my work? That's right And then he proceeds to tell the entire story That is funny, which yeah, I don't know like What you get rid of the frame I feel like you get there's no way you don't understand what's going on It's this isn't the same actor is all three generations of yes men's yeah No, there's no way you don't understand it. I don't mind the frame.
I think it's like it's whatever It's more time in space. It's more time in space. That's really no denying that Let's see starring Bruce Ramsey as Philip and Jack and Paul Three generations of merchant slash Mary Shaw Marshall the key for the post yeah toy makers all of them they they this is the So Paul no is The the latest descendant of Philippe who made the puzzle box the original puzzle box yes, and he made it for an evil guy Duke Delisle played by Mickey Cottrell. Yeah, you know classic like 18th century occultist aristocrat.
Yes many such cases Yeah, and he just like stuff. He just wants to fuck a demon. That's all he wants He's kind of like again. There's like strong like marquee decide kind of thing going on where's yeah?
I've I've done everything I've I've done PP stuff so now I've been everywhere man. I have to fuck a demon. Yeah And that demons name is Angelique Angelique played a name I never get sick of hearing no matter how many times they say it yeah I buy Valentina Vargas or yeah Vargas I Feel like I've seen her another stuff, but maybe it's just this she looks familiar to me But I don't know just one of those faces. I guess maybe one of those faces But yeah, she did like the main she the pinhead keeps calling her the princess, right?
Maybe she's princess of hell. Maybe yeah, she's a demon. She's a demon princess of hell. Yeah, that's pretty cool man Yeah, good for her and then she gets like a demotion.
She does get a demotion. I don't know you can do that I didn't either but yeah, she's not really She's in like some English stuff a lot of not English stuff. She's yeah French and Chilean So I think it's just one of those faces. Yeah, Doug Bradley's back the guys always I mean It's good work if you can get it, you know being pinhead yeah Yeah, definitely and he is being pinhead that he is credited as pinhead in this one now Which is I mean talk about things that seem like totally spiteful in the credits where it's like and Doug Bradley as pinhead But pinheads and quotes.
Yes, it's like you all you idiots all call him pinhead even though he's the priest of hell Yeah, you've my idea of dumbasses. Yeah, yeah He's it's so funny to be like getting older to like see someone aging under the pinhead makeup sure right cuz like I forget like this is This movie comes out and it does it for like another 10 years It's crazy you got to be like So wait, what do you say 96 for this? Yeah, that's so he's 42 when this comes out Jesus. That's how well That's too old to be pinhead Soy oo and pinhead I you got to be like cycling pinheads out like lassie's like it's got to be just like the Smeltest young per yeah I mean so I think he stops being pinhead But his last appearance is pinhead is in 2005 with hell razor colon hell world Seeing them come up with new ways to use the word hell in the title in the subtitle or ever.
Yeah Excuse me. Have you seen hell? I'm looking for hell. No, I see kel But that's his last one and then after that it's different guys And I think that was kind of a problem for horror fans.
It's always a thing. We're like I Get it. I get it. No, you know, I get it.
No, I'm just being like I get it to an extent Pinhead the pinheaded man first of all that's not Doug Bradley's voice, right? It's all dubbed over No, I think I mean he is a British guy. I think that's his voice. I mean, it's like it's down or right?
Yeah, so it's not like you're like oh that iconic pinhead voice. How are we gonna recreate it? It's like well, he just took crank the dial down true, right? And it's like the physicality what physicality?
He's just standing there sort of like okay. Yeah to that point though. I have not watched the other we watched the remake Oh, the hyalurays are you called a remake or whatever, right? I thought the person I'd forget her name the plays that pinhead was just okay, right?
I remember yeah, just being a fine like whatever I Would be interested to see these other two movies that don't have Doug Bradley as pinhead I would like to see how they how they hold up. Yeah, you know, we make a really good pinhead. Who's that? Iggy pop Not now now.
He's like 80 years old of course of course. I mean come on He pop like in his you know in his younger years when he's all fucking strung out and Yes Shows up to set with the needles already in them. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, no, that's not even way that wasn't I wasn't team myself up for that talk about a pinhead Yeah But I kind of feel like with these horror it's the same thing that like you have Robert England playing Freddie for like 10 or so years, right? Yeah, even Warwick Davis playing leprechaun for most of those movies You know, it's sort of this thing where you're like I want the same guy doing it, man It's not the same if somebody else is doing it. It's just different and yeah I don't know it was like a big diagram of like OCD and horror fans That's pretty true. It's not like more He's where Jason kid, you know throws on the mask and only has to do is be big and sort of imposing even though like What's the fucking guy's name?
He I did think it was yeah, I did think it was weird to learn that in the upcoming Friday the 13th movie Jason will be played by Drew Ski You love Drew ski well now that we know who Jersey is yeah, we googled in before we started not Kane hotter, right? Who played he was in? Several of the Friday the 13th movies, right and he's like publicly he is like you know He's sort of a curmudgeon and he's like I should always be playing Jason for he's I am Jason Like and then whenever anybody else gets cast as Jason for he's like that's bullshit It's me and whatever he's not the original guy by any means like he didn't come in until like part Seven and you could put a dummy on like yeah a little platforming wheels and just pull it on a rope and get the same performance Exactly, I'm like, oh man, but I do feel like pinhead is in between at least like your Jason's and say your Your laps or your Freddie certainly where it's like Freddie sure like I mean first of all He's so goddamn funny all of his mean things hilarious hilarious But that's so performance based same with lap same with lap Candy man totally totally totally totally totally would have been probably going to go there Yeah, I feel like pinhead. It's easier to sub him out and if lady pinhead left something to be desired Yeah, I think that's a failure of the movie more than the like and the and the choice to have her be sort of just like ooh Right, she's like more subdued less like oh Yeah, I'm from hell.
Yeah less from hell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
It's be more from hell I think it should be more from hell and honestly my opinion. I like there and I'm not even just saying that that was like One of the things I remember working. I thought the no I didn't dislike it, but I didn't like nothing nothing really stuck for me like I can't really remember much of that performance I see there's no like there's no moment where she's like I will rip your soul apart or like sure But that's because no one's allowed to have fun in that movie. It's all right.
No one's a lot Yes, no one's a lot of fun or like in I think hellbound part two hell raiser to is he's like You're you're suffering it will be legendary or something like that. It's just like like these lines that come out You're gonna get a plaque on the wall. Yeah, you're just like oh shit I fucking intense. Oh, the plaque will be your face.
Let's get in from your face Yes, so who else is in this thing of course Adam Scott as Jacques a Seven fun he is having fun. He's a he was a little he's a little he's a little shit back in the day hot little twink that boy. Yeah Yeah, he's like he seems so fresh face, especially now him being like obviously popular He's been very popular since like I feel like parks in Iraq, but now with like severance you watch me's like it's fucking grown He's like in his fifties. I want to say yeah, so this is 30 years ago and he's a crazy such a boy in this You know, I think I would love to see like I think of him and Keanu in Bram Stoker's Dracula Like swap those two out.
I'd like to see both versions. Oh man. I would really like to see him in a like a in that role You're right. Yeah, yeah, that's good.
I see the hair and you know the look the whole look I'm just like I think he could do it right he spends this whole movie just getting his you know His back wall is blown out by Angelique He's probably too old to be playing the John Harker role now, but I would like to see him in like a well Thanks to the magic of generative AI Yeah, you know who'd be really good as John Harker actually also who's that is Drew ski? All right, you're just for everything. Yeah, yeah, I got your everywhere. I look I see Drew See you got your fever.
I looked at like a like a fire hydrant. I was like, oh, that's the same shape as Drew ski I didn't know up until 15 minutes ago Funny name for a famous guy. Yeah, of course and he's a comedian, right? Yeah.
Yeah, it's a stand up or does he do like sketches? Online, I don't know if you probably if I have no idea. He does two minute tiktokies if I had to guess I don't know what he does. Let's see.
I don't even know what he does. I don't care. It's not my business Yeah, he began his career in 2017 by posting quote comedic skits and other comedic content say like just that origin story makes me Want to blow my brains out? Yeah, do you want to know what his Instagram handle is what Drew ski to fun and fun as do ends?
All right, well, it's too fun in his early skits. He pretended to be a frat-bron named Kyle Roger Ruthless record label executive and other characters such as Bubba Joe No explanation on what Bubba Joe is just like we all know that one. Yeah, it's the it's the archetype every culture is their own version of a Bubba Joe It's a cable guy, but it's just but it's bubba. Yeah, just like scanning his career section here I see like Jack Harlow's name and there's Chris Brown.
So I think I'm out on Drew ski. Oh, you're You're big Chris Brown guy, right? No, I don't like his I don't like his bad attitude and his bad behavior He does have a real rude attitude. He's a bad man.
He's actually I don't even know what his music sounds like to tell you the truth I mean, you know that one so I yeah the one the one from the the It's it's got to be at least 15 years old now the that viral video of the wedding of the the the bridal parties Like dancing down the aisle to a song is that the thing that they did on the office? They recreated the same thing on the office. Yes, it's that song is a Chris Brown song I can't even hear the song in my head. Yeah, I just it's like the saving private Ryan just like the ears ringing.
Yes As I see like Jenna Fisher dancing toward the camera. Yeah in my mind's eye. I got So much of that So much I consumed so much bad I mean, but not like the first few seasons of the office. I did of course of course.
They're good Yeah, but I can't watch any of it now because it's just so fucking I don't know I don't know To tie it all together. Everything is ruined to tie it all together back to you know, get out of this This always very soul. It's sort of like the perspective shifted from like Work sucks to work. This is your family and you must love them very lumen industries.
Don't you think? Why why that's where Adam Scott's character Mark Scout works on the TV show severance. Oh, there you go It's funny because when you're introduced to him. He's just referred to as mark s You want his last name to be severance But it's not it's not you guys guy you watch sevens.
I'm all caught up I'm watched I'm not a severance guy. This is a contrarian. Okay, where I'm like I'm keeping a respectful distance You just be a cold emotionless. Yeah, and I thought it was good.
Yes. Yes I like that. I like not making not that you're one of these guys But people do of course make things their personality and severance seems to be the new thing that is like that I yeah, you know, it is like It is good. It's a lot of fun.
It's a lot of fun. Great. That's what I'll say hell raise your bloodline Adam Scott is in movie. He's courtland's mead also this movie.
I Do want to point out who else Who's courtlin mead? He's the son. He's the little boy a king alum from Mick Harris is the shining. That's correct a little boy You can't close his mouth.
That's correct because of those big old teeth right courtlin that need That's so funny. I saw the the picture on IMDB. I'm like, yeah He might be I wonder if he because he doesn't act anymore. Yeah, I wonder what he's not courtlin's mead I wonder if that uh, see the money is dried up You got courtlin mead you got I Kim Myers who plays Bobby Jack's wife She's in she's in something she's in nightmarion Elm Street Park, too, which is the gay one Oh, and she I think I mean she looks so much like Meryl Streep like I was gonna say you know what I look alike I know her from the Miss Meryl Streep contest Second prize in the Miss Meryl Streep look alike contest of course Meryl Streep entered herself and she won Yeah, she really the community was divided on that.
Yeah, maybe Meryl Streep and personator enthusiast, of course Man, I'm telling you if that's seen in rat race had been a bus full of Meryl Streep impersonators instead of Lucille Paul impersonators Kim Myers would have been front and center. Definitely. Yeah, and also different movie things would have gone down a lot different. Let me tell you I would have won that money I want to say She's in this Well, it's kind of you know, it's it you get some fucking mark and Mike We say Polish polish as the twins probably polish Paul this guy Paul Perry who plays Edwards.
He's like the team leader of the space police here. I've seen this guy in other shit He's he's been around Again my poisoned brain Recognizes him from Delta Force to the Colombian connection of course, but I was gonna say yeah Delta Force to I can remember if it was Delta Force one or Delta Force two Yeah, it's two but I figured I could remember if it was Delta Force two or Delta Force five and it was one of the two But yeah, he was also in a memoir as an invisible man. We watched that for the show He's just like he's a guy character face. Whatever.
Yeah, he's a man hunter. He is a man hunter That's a good movie. We haven't watched the show. I love that movie.
That fucking movie rules. Yeah I like Michael man movies. Yeah. Oh, man.
Um Sidebar. Oh man. Oh, man. Oh, man.
Um, the Mahoning drive-in that plays on uh, p.a. Yeah, they um, I think it's in see their mayor june They're they're showing thief Um in 35 millimeters shut off which sounds like it's gonna fucking rule. I love to that one that one particularly So much light reflecting off of wet surfaces so much light so much men trying to Deal with their feelings not being able to I kid I would love to see jim belushi's Hawaiian shirt By mill. Yeah, hell yeah, um, well, let me tell you the philadelphia film society is doing Uh lynch screenings every Tuesday in april.
Hell yeah, and I know you work in the industry So you probably have two stays off. I I I do have some Tuesdays off something to consider I would love to really see any lynch movie on the big stream. I would love yeah one week is lost highway And i'm kind of like I want to see that building on fire. Oh, yeah, the one in the desert Yeah in big mode and I want to see like then you know the just the camera mounted to the grill of the car Yes, just the I want to see robert losia Motherfucker somebody on the side of the road.
I want to I want to be in the crowd when he asks if he likes pornos and everyone stands up and around cheers Just hooting and holler It's like a bunch of guys that look kind of like robert losia I know I do This guy gets it So bloodlines right opens up with a robot in a room sitting christ rus apple saw really funny This all thing here It is really funny and the robot has the puzzle box in its hands and then outside of the room There's a guy with a shaved head who he's watching a monitor of that the robot sitting there and then he puts on some sort of Gloves remote yeah gloves to control the robot. Yeah, right. Um what he does the robot does Yeah, um place first. I like all of this.
I think this looks cool and janky in a perfect way. Um to me Um, you know, it's like you make the just like a statue basically doesn't have can't move Well, it's like you made that robot specifically to get torn apart by pinhead. So yeah, not gonna put too much work into the articulation Of course, it's all like pistons and whatever. Yeah, um sort of a uh albert pewin style robot where there's just like a vacuum hose in it Yeah, yeah Stop it.
It's one day. I need I'm still I'm still recharging I know You need more time. I get it. I I feel like we'd run out of stuff to say about the pew universe I think one day we're gonna watch Albert pewins captain america movie I have no doubt because we are gonna do a run of superhero movies that are not that are like pre mcu Yeah, that's gonna happen.
Yes, and I think we have to honor him and yeah pewins involved Um But yeah, so this guy he you know uses the remote thing to manipulate puzzle box and then uh, you know It opens up. It does its thing. We've seen it do and then uh the robotic explodes And uh while this is happening a spaceship is is coming towards the space big space station Now when you saw the big space station dan, what did you think anything thought I thought wow that's a big space station Did you know it was gonna turn into a giant puzzle box or no? Um, I don't think so.
I don't think I did where you said you immediately were like no the first time I saw this I did not see that But then like this time I was like oh, oh, yeah, there's all the puzzle box stuff. Yeah. Oh, yeah Huh, it's weird to make a space station a deconstructed cube. Okay.
Okay. Um, yeah, I didn't I didn't clocked that at all Okay, good. That was a fun. It was just that's just a long for the ride.
Hell yeah So this the ship docks and these like space police or whatever they dress like SWAT, you know They some things never change something's never changed. They rush in and um much like fools, of course That's what fools do that's what fools do. I learned that from Matthew perry and Salma hike. Yeah, that's yeah, those two fools rush in the one where uh, Matthew perry uh Has to marry Salma hike because he got her pregnant.
Uh the worst Very well. Uh and that's gotta be tough cultures clash. Let me tell you could I be anymore? Could I um any luck here?
Could I be anymore fertile? Virile, I guess yeah, yeah, uh uh So um The uh the guy this is the guy that's with the gloves and who manipulate in the robot or whatever. That's this is Paul Dr. Paul mergent and uh He so he must have designed the space station.
They say that he designed a space station. Yeah It's funny to me that you watch your dad get killed by pinhead and and then you're like you can't this is not this is not The guy that that's not his dad. Um, oh, is it like his maybe like great grandfather? Yeah great grandfather something like that's even funnier that his dad or grandfather told him the story of when pinhead Yes I will I will commit my dad.
Yeah, I will give my life over to the car to secretly building a space station that can turn into a big cube Yes and and destroy the steam. I think uh, I mean There's something interesting about this like obsession thing of like this has been in my family for literally hundreds of years like this kind of curse Um, and then he loves a curse. I love a curse. I love a a blood curse where it's just your fucked man It's you inherited a pinhead and what are you gonna do?
You can't you can't do anything about it unless you become super smart and build space station and if I can destroy it Yeah, and you turn into a prison of light. Yeah Infinite light infinite light figure it out So what do you call that configuration? There's like the lament configuration, which is a bad one. That's a bad one.
So when you get the good one You call it like the smile configuration. Yeah, um, yeah the smile the cheese and Oh lord. I'm cheesing um right before the uh space police uh take Paul into custody here. We see pinhead on the monitor Like pinhead is in locked in this room that with the box and relax head is locked in he's locked in baby Lock the gates.
Yeah, he said lock the gates So who the fuck are your guys man the devil? What's now? He's like my guys my guys are my butter ball. Yeah the chatterer Angelique No, we had a problem before right, but we're good now, right?
Yeah, we're cool. We're cool Uh listen. I was I was an asshole in my 20s. I know all assholes are right.
We were just doing our thing right? I was on blow the whole time me too I my skin isn't actually white. I was just covered in cocaine residue You and me both brother. All right So so you like uh you like uh robert johnson.
Yeah So you're a stone's guy. What's your thing man? I like the blues but like that real delta blues. Yeah, that's a good shit Fuck clapton.
Yeah, fuck that guy Actually though. No actually fuck clapton. Of course. I guess sucks.
Uh Uh fucking That's crazy that um His kid fell out of window that is kid fell out of window that all happened and the song he wrote people here They're like fuck you. Oh my god That's like a lot of people that way a lot of people feel that way. Yeah, is this is he's is he suspected of having what caused his child's death? Um, I don't think so.
I thought I think it was like I this is this fucking like 35 years ago or something like that so I really don't know but I thought it was in neglect from the babysitter Okay, I really don't know that is sad. Yeah. No, obviously a baby falling out of window is sad But to be such a prolific shit had that people like your song about your dead child sucks Yeah, like Eric clapton. I think sucks and hasn't done anything good since like 1973 since uh, yes It's cream since cream Derek and the domino's and then Derek and the domino's before cream or after Uh, I don't know I don't mean either.
There's no way to know there's no way to know so we're gonna go along Anyway, they're pretty good too. But again in both cases. It's like he's surrounded by much better Musicians. Yeah, I I I've heard like a like the story of him like playing in some club in New York Or something and you know, he's like he thinks he's the shit or whatever and then Jimmy Hendrix rolls in and just like effortlessly fucking just fucking rules And he's like basically just punching the wall so angry You know, just like I like that Jimmy Hendrix had that effect on so many people really didn't uh Didn't he also like like sergeant peppers comes out and then the next day he's like playing the coolest version of it.
Yeah Yes, and yeah, yeah, I mean like Obviously Hendrix rules but then you listen to like you listen to him like two covers of like certain songs even like he does uh like a rolling Zone also, which yeah, I can rips and then you're like a rolling stone I've heard that well, there's all the all along the watch hours the one I know yeah Yeah, but uh, I think he does like a rolling stone. I've I've not heard yeah Um, it's funny how quickly we went from rules to the bandage. Yes. Yeah, we went very quickly from making fun of Mark Marin Yeah, to be doing that for having this conversation.
Yeah. Yeah. Um That's funny. Okay.
Anyway back to it back on the spaceship Uh, yes, so dr. Paul merchant is in custody Yeah, and he's being interrogated by Rimmer Now Dan, this is a name for a character. I have nothing to say about that name For a movie and I don't think you can either For a movie series. That's all like horny and we're blurring the lines between pleasure and pain and whatever And this character is named Rimmer.
I don't know. I have I have nothing to say about it. I mean I video all right fair Do you know her from anything? I don't this uh, what's her name?
Christine Harnos me neither So anyway, she's she's interrogating or she's a dazed and confused. She's one of uh, I think she's one of the dazed ones Sort of a Jets and sharks. Yeah Uh, there's like so the dazed ones it's like they're all cross-eyed and the confused ones are all just scratching their heads. Yeah.
Yeah, that's right. Yeah Anyway, anyway Yeah, this is where we get the moment where uh, dr. Paul is like, um, hey, my name is dr. Paul and this is between you all No, he says if I tell you my whole life story, will you let me go?
Yeah, and she's like, yeah, I will Yeah, she's like you have to come with us. He's like, you don't understand. I'm here. I'm doing a thing It's very complicated this uh, my story starts like hundreds of years ago and she's like, we've got time He's like we don't have time.
She's like, we're not going anywhere. So it's like fine. I will tell you my story be grudgingly And then so we flash back to uh, let's see 1796, uh, patty france No, no, no, which I I'm fine with. Yeah, you're you're on record You're in favor of that.
I am. I'm like, you know, especially in like fucking hell raiser before What are we doing? Just just like adam scott doesn't put on any sort of accent. He's just adam scott.
He he sort of like Everyone does like a vaguely aristocratic sort of like proper english a little proper english Yeah, he gets like a little like Whatever with it, but it no accent. We're not doing that perfect. Let's go And he tells the story of his uh, ancestor who was a toy maker and was commissioned to make a puzzle box Um the guy makes you see him like piecing the thing together and like, you know doing all this shit and then Um, I like this. He's like it's finished and his wife comes in and she's like what does it do?
And he's like watch and then it like does a thing and she's like oh so it really doesn't do anything He's like you wouldn't understand. He's like he's forced to it and he's like well I made it exactly the specification. So it's actually perfect because that's exactly what he wanted So fuck you their whole thing is so weird like he's her so much for this conversation. Yeah, and then they're good.
Yeah, um So he he rushes over to uh, what's the guy's name? Duke something? Duke delisle Duke delisle and uh It's a Duke delisle and I don't know if this is like his nephew or like his ward, but adam's got his character. Oh, jock and uh That jock.
So, uh jock has brought a like a peasant girl Who will become angelic, but this girl is just like um, you know, she doesn't you know, she's peasant She doesn't come from any money. So like they have this big feast laid out and and it's all like it's all very nice and whatever and uh they kill her and um That's when uh when philip shows up and he's like I brought the puzzle box and they're like, let me see it And this is like at the doorway and that he looks at it He's like perfect. He gives him his money and like sends him on his way. He's like fuck off and uh And then we get this whole fucking scene of uh jock and duke delisle like cutting the skin off of angelic This peasant girl nasty business nasty business, but then like hanging up the skin like With like hooks and whatever pins and uh, they do this whole magic spell thing They use the puzzle box to conjure a demon in and the demon I like this one like the skin is being like sort of filled out with like I thought it looked pretty good It looked pretty good.
Yeah, like like somebody is like slipping on the skin like a suit Yeah Um side note. Yeah, um Weirdly, this is not the only two time or the only time adam scott and micky cotrell have worked together Mickey cotrell is uh, doodle dial what else they've been in They were in some movie called a passenger side together. Uh, could you imagine them just chopping it up? Shoeing the fat.
Yeah, you know being like, oh those are the glory days. Oh boy bloodline. Am I right? Well adam scott stars in this movie and then uh micky plays suspicious man So probably there was not a lot of time to talk about micky, but I know a guy.
Let me let I got this guy that I've worked before. Let me let me bring him on But what we should say about micky also because we got a pair of respects Yeah, he's a king alum and he was in edwood, which I think you would like to know Yeah, I actually I just saw that he's hammy alien which I like do you know who that is off hand? I don't But fig fan fig fan alert. Thank you Bring you alarm fig fan.
Uh, what uh what king movie was again apt pupil? Yeah, he played a teacher not Ross. Okay, not swimmer. Right?
Schwimmer at people. Yeah, right? I am DB and I cannot find people 98 brother Oh, I'm looking at additional crew like dumbass what dumbass Poor david schwimmer begging breadrin fro not to be a nazi Was that that was just uh, that's david wallberg. It was uh that was schwahlberg schwahlberg Uh, all right So they uh they make angelic and they're like Um, oh, this is they make angelic they do they make her they make her they've conjured a demon And they're like they rattle off the rules really quick.
They're like we have complete control over you Unless yeah, you'll you have to do everything that we say unless we stand in the way of hell Meaning like if it doesn't um behoove angelic and you know being evil Uh, then she can like then she can you know fight back and fuck these guys up right? So as long as they don't do that. Oh, okay should be enough. No problem seems like a pretty vague rule to me But whatever run afoul of yeah Uh, and uh, do delial and jock it goes south for doodleil pretty quick.
Um, philip goes home He actually he peeks in the window. He sees like blood in like all of this like crazy shit And he goes to uh, I guess doctor professor or somebody that he knows and he's like, yeah, sort of a Van Helsing type a bit of a yeah van Helsing but he's like he wants kind of nothing to do with it He's just like he says that's a different movie. Yeah, he's like i'm in a different movie You can't do this movie with me. Um, no, he's like uh What if they had had him be they should have had that character go like Um, I can't help you with that because he's like a surgeon or whatever right?
He's doctor He's like doing he's like, uh, what's the word in autopsy on like a corpse or whatever? He should have been like I can't help you with that. No, if you'll excuse me. I have a new patient I have to go see a mr.
Merrick. Yeah That would end cool too if this was set in the elephant man universe. Yeah, yeah the uh, the eceo What's the c stand for? Oh cinematic elephant.
I like the elephant cinematic universe. Yeah, uh, it's this it's operation dumbo drop Um Dumbo dumbo of course, um water for elephants. Sure. That's a movie right?
It is a movie Is it really about elephants? I don't know because the poster it's just a couple of hard bodies embracing hell. Yeah, you like that I mean, he's fully activated folks So, uh, if we leave talks to this guy and I like the guys like listen It's this is the 18th century, baby We've already killed god and if there's no god by that rationale there can't be a hell and philippe's like, I don't know man I saw some pretty fucked up stuff last night, but he goes home and he's just sort of like Um, he's haunted by this. He's like what did I take part in?
I made a stupid puzzle box toy and now this So he goes to uh, he goes back to do delial's house And he's like, I'm gonna steal a puzzle box back and when he gets there, uh, do delial is just like he's wrapped up in It looks like wiring and he's all bloody and fucked up Uh angelique is fucking shock and shock is just like I am so into this right now. Yeah, um And he gets caught good forever. He says yeah, I'm never gonna die. This is gonna be great.
Um This guy go bad at all uh philippe gets caught and um, yeah, he's going for the puzzle box. He wants to reclaim his work Yes, and uh, yeah, he gets caught first angelique is like I forget the word she uses but it's essentially like toy maker Well, yeah, but she's like uh toy maker you have such nimble fingers Will you play with me and and jocks like no mine? Uh, uh, no way now and and she's like fine. So she kills philippe Um, but philippe's wife is pregnant.
She's prego and she's right around the corner Yeah, she like shows up to investigate and sees a mortally wounded philippe and he's like, you know, take good care of my baby. Yeah And she does and she does Down through the years cut to sort of present day 1996, right? Um, we get uh present day this again. This is all the same actor, but this is now jack and jack is a artist And he's working on this project.
He's he's building this thing. It's like a it's like a box. It's like a puzzle box, but He's trying to make light like this infinite like a perpetual light machine Um, it doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense. I don't think it's like it's like if we make if we do this with mirrors And and the reflection will just be bouncing off and we'll just be capturing light in this thing He's like but it never works I like how they use the computer to sort of like show this right because it's always you know It's 1996 computers and and that we're still in the vague sort of what can computers really do Phase and he's like, you know, he's showing the example and it's just like I don't know I honestly don't know what i'm looking at here, but okay.
Yeah, it's all that that's why they it's so important that he says it doesn't work Here's a picture of it and basically what you're seeing is it's not working. Yeah, um, I like the on jalik Being a you know an ancient demon. He doesn't really know what's good. Yeah, um, who's been living in that house with jock the whole time Yeah, so jock this is like 200 years later.
They've just been fucking for 200 years Yeah, and jock is uh, basically immortal, right? He's been he's alive this entire time and he's kept her prisoner and and she's like I want to go to america And he's like no no america for you. He's like, yeah, yeah sure baby sure we'll go next week. Yeah, yeah I'll take you america someday baby.
No Good just going back to bed, baby. Yeah, he's like, uh, uh, you are my little prisoner. You're my demon Uh sex slave so and of course this and you know being that she wants to go catch up with the descendant of philippe the toy maker. Yeah, she's she has the mandate of hell on her side That's right.
So she's like you forgot and she whips out a big demon claw. Yes She's got a big demon claw now one of her hands. Yeah, one of her hands turns into like a demon hand and she starts Yeah, slicing and dancin. Yeah I like she like cuts a hole in his face and starts like fingering at the ball.
She bites a hole in his face. Yeah, yeah, yeah That's that's pretty good stuff. There's like a type of Reaction that's on full display here and in one where it's like because this is like You know so much of the movies. It's about like pleasure and pain and like the blurry When people get hurt, it's not a lot of like blood curling screams like Adam scott here is just kind of like oh Yeah, it's very braidys dad seeing his We're just like oh it hurts, but oh yeah, i've never felt anything quite like it That is an interesting thing about these movies is that like yeah, there's obviously that's sort of the point right as the blurring of the Pleasure and pain but also like These people like Adam scott is being attacked right now, but he doesn't know it yet.
Right. Yeah, you know He's like is this a new sex thing because i'm i'm in but yeah But But ultimately as she yeah she's like yeah, she's like you're done. I'm done with you done so punch out to america Um, so she does and um Meanwhile, yeah, what's his name? Jack Jack Jack's been having these wet dreams about her yes Yes All right, we watch the same movie right these yeah he's screaming as sheets.
Yeah, um She keeps coming to him envisions and being like we're actually friends. We're on the same team. We're on the same team And he's like you know, he's pretty illides about the whole thing I love this too with like you know his wife bobby who's just like a normal american woman Bob Bobby And he's like a weird sort of like again like he's still a fancy man where he's like i have these visions Yes, these ancient visions memories, but yeah, yeah He's a bit fancy. He's like this artsy kind of guy and yeah, jbobby is much more of like Like I am from a small town in pennsylvania.
Yeah, like I went I went to look i don't know about you, but i'm from 1996 Exactly My name is bobby with an eye body They have a little boy also His name jack as well. Yeah, yeah, so he's jack john is oh, you're right. Yeah, john is the yeah is as a father So yeah, sorry Which which that I did think that was weird not the john thing but That the son is named jack and adam scott's name is jock which is jack. Yeah, like what do we could have diversified a bit?
Yeah, why would you name your son after that weirdo? I don't think it was naming him after that. Well, man. He's been having these visions his entire life Why would you come up once or twice?
Yeah, why would you allen smithy? Well peter akins i guess yeah, so Yeah, and then uh so angelic shows up into america john is giving this sort of like I don't know presentation whatever he's like this is my intent. Yeah, he wins like a he wins a major award for For being a very talented architect Yeah, um, but his speech is cut short when he spots angelic from streams. Yeah, he's in his pants Yeah, he goes.
Uh, I gotta go. I gotta go. Um, I like sort of like hunched over walks off stage. Yes, he's got a direction Yeah, um angelic has a puzzle box also by the way.
Um, I like this to this guy who All of these fucking dopes this guy his name in the movie is sharp, but he's played by luina mestillo And uh, this guy I mean he's just like the definition of schlub, right? Yeah, I mean You know like he knows like that's the part that he's fucking playing here But like again, I love this I love this kind of character or like this this kind of actor really who's like Yeah, I know exactly what I look like I you have me in this situation I'm gonna take my shirt off also and be you know, just sort of a uh a guy a schlubby guy out there Yeah, but angelic sort of lures him into a side room where she you know with the promise of sex um how Sidebar I would be so nervous about any of this like if hypothetically if a woman did that I'd be like I don't I am scared Right? 1 million percent right. I don't know how like Yeah, I would be like this is not normal Like there's something medically wrong with this woman.
Yes, there's something medically wrong with this person of course Um, I would 100 percent expect to be like in this weird situation if I did go in this room I would expect to be jumped by a gang of people or whatever. We're like there's no way that I'm doing this This is yeah, easy business. It's the same beat as in the first salary that we'll talk about on friday over Yeah, it's the same time. Dotcom slash came me pod when Julia lures that guy to the room full of like dead Rat's nailed to a wall.
Yeah, and he's like I guess there's a first time for everything Well, I guess if you're into an I guess I'm a rat's on the wall kind of guy today So she lures him into this room and uh He's all like into it and he starts undressing and whatever and then she whips out the puzzle box open So she doesn't this is where she gets the puzzle box There's like a concrete pillar like a support pillar or whatever and she hya punch us through it Pulls the puzzle box out which is a direct continuity with three. Yes, correct. Yeah. Yeah, pretty cool That is actually ends with someone throwing in a pull concrete.
Yeah, it's very sweet And I gotta say, you know, um Same writer for two three and four. Yeah, and that's just you get the little touches like that when you yeah When you hand over the reins to pete Atkins pete Atkins wonder if he's still kicking Pete Atkins come on king. Oh, he's a wishmaster guy too. Oh, yeah.
Are you a wishmaster guy? Uh, I see the first one the first one is like it's like it's definitely like trashier Uh, but it's definitely it's fun. It's it's monkey paw shit where people are like I want to make a wish and then they do and he's like, okay I'm a bad guy. Sure.
I'll give you exactly what you want. I'm a bad genie. You know who's in this thing Which an angus scream narrates it. Wow.
Oh Yeah, maybe we do a wishmaster thing Um the guy who plays the genie. That's like Andrew Dib off maybe dib off He has like a he's just got one of those faces, man. He looks like a robert dovey. Yeah guy with a face, you know There's a bit of it.
I hate to say it. He's not a slight uh, well in his older years a slight Epstein quality too. I'm sure Um, so uh, so yeah, she has a puzzle box. She um, she starts futzing with that and then uh, you know Uh, the wall opens up as it does hooks come out start hooking into this guy and he's like no I was just horny And uh he gets dragged into this I don't know Into a living yeah and then out walks the man himself the man You got like a pick scrape on a guitar and yeah, there he is Ow And it's pinhead baby and he's like oh shit.
I'm back You can't you can't keep me down. So and he's like on jalik good to see you Yes, he's like, you know talking about how she's a princess of hell and She's like how has hell been and he's like, uh, he's not you know, not the same Not the same without you baby. They put in they put in like a sweet green and the vibe has changed He basically is like it's not as fun as it used to be there are too many rules now Yeah, it yes, you have a there's like a keycard you need to like swipe in. It was just better Yeah, it's all it's all contracts now used to be a handshake deal, you know, and you know what run yeah I've talked to my shit on the hell-raiser remake from 2022 Sure, and one of my beefs was that it was too neoliberal and like the rules were too complicated and stuff So you and pinhead a lot of common yourself.
I'm I'm saying I'm kind of like, huh, maybe maybe that movie's really good It's true to you know, it's like in keeping with the spirit of the original quadriology and yeah, maybe that movie's really good Yeah, I do like that pinhead is is like hell is kind of It's not what it used to be it used to be all pleasure and pain and now it's I don't know it's too much It's water down. Yeah, use the type people up in chains now. We're all tied up in this bureaucratic red tape. Yes Hell has turned into Brazil and just like oh The bureaucracy the movie not the country.
Yeah, yeah, um So it used to be more like Brazil of the country Lot of tits out, you know sure I've never been in Brazil. I just assume everyone's naked right? I've been to Brazil. Uh, it's um, not as many tits as you think but but some some tits sure Staying, uh, did you see the big statue?
No, I wasn't I wasn't in Rio. I was in salt Sao Paulo Ah Sao Paulo. I love the Portuguese accent rub. It's I got it's a mystery to me.
I like it But I can't it's fucking Spanish. It is Funky Spanish. There's no other way to say it. It's like French Spanish.
Yeah, it's sleepy French Spanish And yeah, and I like it's like easy going I you know, I took Spanish in high school and a little bit in college and stuff and I don't have a grasp on that So like Portuguese is it might as well be like Japanese to me, you know, like just so fucking far out on it, right? Um, there's yeah, um, can I share something completely unrelated? Of course So there's a twitter account I follow called actual names and it just like tweets funny name. No, I don't know Okay, and it just tweets excuse me posts.
It X is uh Funny names from like old historical records. Okay, I share a couple with you. Please Um, this is from the Arizona deaths records from 1870 to 1963 Carmen uterus And then from English births and christening from 1538 to 1975 first of all wow incredible record keeping yeah, good job and crap tunnel Mm Ridiculous yeah and crap tunnel. Okay.
I've done Let's let's uh stay on target. So we should get down the soundboard for when we run we we follow stray Let's get back on target and just stay on target at bar. Oh, yeah, yeah Oh great. Now he's thinking about it.
I lost him again. He's thinking about old fish face Old fish face himself. All right. So when he dies.
What's that? Doesn't he die? Or is that a different act bar type guy? No, that's act bar.
He dies in uh Less Jedi. They had no right Ryan Johnson and no right Yeah, it was pretty unceremonious as well He's just like oh crap. Oh fuck. It's old crap.
All right. Like his famous like it's a yeah Yeah, like his famous line. Uh, we gotta talk about the movie. We gotta fuck.
We're only halfway through this movie. Yep. Um, so uh Pinhead um, you know, he's like he loves that uh, this guy john is making a giant puzzle box And he's like i'm gonna use this to uh, maybe take control of some more shit Some hell regain right there like our here his line is something pinheads line is something like Um, okay first of all the name of the thing john is making according to the hell raiser wiki is the elisium configuration Which like fine, but he says he says something like we will be able to just like kind of stream into your world We won't have to slip through we won't be like vermin slipping through cracks in the floorboard. Yeah Yeah, yeah, that is fun.
Yeah, which that is how he's been they've been operating. Yeah, he's like i'm gonna kick down the door Yeah, i'm gonna be in 30 of my closest friends. Yeah me butterball, uh chatterer. We're coming in we're gonna we're bringing Uh, cases of beer.
We're gonna fucking we're gonna take over this party chains of course chains folks He loves chains. He loves hooks. Um So, uh This is apart with the twins right we have to talk about that these twin like are they cops or security guards? I They're security guards with guns.
They are right. Okay. So the worst most dangerous people right They brought those from home if I know if I know security guards They brought those from home. Yeah, um, so these two guys who are clearly they like the characters Uh, they look like they wanted to be cops, uh, but didn't pass the test neither of them neither Um, so yeah, they uh and they're like sweaty and nervous when they get in there and then they they're confronted by pinhead and they're like fuck He's got pins in his hand one of them and he's like you guys are obviously to dofuses um, but he says I can see your fear and um Um, or no one of them says, um, yeah, are we gonna have to bring the pain or something like that?
And and pinheads like how dare you say the word pain to me. I am pain. Yeah We were like we were talking about this before we started like pinhead is sort of morphed into this more like arch villain Yes, right where it's like before it just seemed like he was really into s&m Yeah, yeah, and now he's just sort of like mu ha ha ha mu ha ha ha Um, but this moment is good. It's a good version of that.
Yeah. I like it. Um pain is my thing. Yeah, I'm really into that Uh, so he's like I can see both of your your fears and you're thinking please don't Don't take my brother away from me and he's like I promise I'll never or you'll never be without your your brother And then he does this fucked up thing where he takes like screws and uh a windy thing and he basically just Takes their their faces and like twists them up together.
Yeah, and when we see them later on They're like two guys connected at the head. They're like conjoined twins at the head Um, but in a you know fucked up pinhead kind of way Um really good stuff really good stuff looks cool as hell. This is the kind of shit that is missing from like For years floor and yeah, whatever it just horror of hell razor. Yeah, it just feels like it was surprising to me that like They usually so the I would say the other movies we've watched or a lot of other movies We've watched when you get this deep into the franchise.
It's like you get one moment like this and then the rest of the movies like basically unwatchable Yes, that was not really the case here. This was just like like that is the moment obviously but I mean it's one Yeah, it's one of the coolest moments, but I think I think there's other stuff in this movie Is like this level where it's like holy shit, but there's plenty of people getting ripped apart. Yeah, it's like You know, we're four deep into the series, right? I don't think it's not as good as the first one But like it still has a lot of fun shit going on and you're like I can watch this Like it's not it's not the fourth in a series and you're like they have like I'm sure once it gets into like the direct-video Kind of stuff we're losing thread here.
Sure. Now. We're we're getting like a bunch of kills done with CGI and it all looks like shit Yeah, you feel nothing. Oh man those ones from like 1998 or 99 or whatever.
It's just like worst of all worlds garbage Yeah, um, yeah, but this is like I mean that is such a fun thing and it feels like in keeping with The universe like the hell raiser universe and it's just it's good man. It's good. We got a new scene of bite. Yeah, well, we get two Of well, yeah cuz angelic.
Yeah, well three. Yeah, eventually we get angelic here Angelic is still just kind of a sexy demon lady But then pinhead is like all right. I have to do some some nasty business here to make john do what I want He needs to finish this configuration. So I can use it for my bad.
My bad plan. My good plan about bad stuff So he pinhead he kidnaps john's son and his wife bobbie and Then john has to go try and save him. There's a there's a just like a set of my dog here too. Yeah, it's like a chatterer dog Yeah, um, that's fine.
I don't think that really adds anything to it. No, it's like it's like kind of whatever to me It's just like a new wrinkle right it does sort of like add to the like The sense that pinhead is like middle-aged didn't yeah, sort of struggling with the way hell is evolved. He's like I guess we'll get a dog I'll get a pet maybe yeah Something like some to take care of giving my life some structure As my cats are like running around me as I record this My life has too much structure. I'll get two cats.
Yeah, exactly So um john goes To building right he's like Trying to save his wife and child. There's all kinds of like nasty sort of like, you know chains and skulls and shit like that We get this like yeah, it's this extended thing where like yeah angelic angelic and pinhead talk about it Angelic is like also do some pinheads like i'll scare him. Yeah, right and so he kidnaps the boy courtland the mead aka jack aka He's one of the kids on that show recess. I'm sure that that was like after your time.
I think but yeah, I have no idea what that is He was a guss griswold one of the main kids that means something not to me, but to people I know gussy um he that gussy All right, so you can have the kid Jason sues this goes on too long. This is where I think you could trim a good five minutes out of this and 100 right? It's just a lot of screaming jack's name and trying to find him eventually they find him Uh philip makes a play to you know get the puzzle box and Sorry john makes a play to get the puzzle boss bobby's involved. So I'm ultimately pinhead kills john in a pretty cool way Yeah, he's like I like this well so john is like fine I'll do the thing just giving my family back and so he sets it up properly or whatever the light starts doing its thing um uh bobby and jack are able to sort of get away from angelic and pinhead and then uh Uh it doesn't work right and and pinhead is very frustrated at this point and he's like all right you suck now I'm killing you get done and you're right.
I think this does look pretty cool. This is a cool death So he hits him with this like spike through the throat Right and after the spike gets through two sort of blades were tracked out of the sides of the spike So that when he pulls the chain back the spike on it cuts john's god damn head off That's right pretty cool and his head falls to the ground and then his body falls next to it Yeah, you're like oh shit pinhead means business. Yes. He doesn't care who he hurts I like you need horror movies need like fun inventive kills Show people stuff that they haven't seen before just so they could go oh fuck man.
That look cool. You know, yeah That's that's that's again Like that was one of one of the issues with the new hellraiser It was it was just like so much people getting cgi ripped apart and nothing else except for like the cool moment where the girl gets her voice box busted Or more recently the stupid fucking monkey damn Everybody just gets a splozy onid so much a splozy onay everybody everybody just gets like oh your shot with a shotgun explodes This is like an electrified pool explodes. This is a phenomenon that I think someone should write like an academic paper on Yeah, because it's not like to me the monkey is sort of like a um Like a fever pitch moment of this. It's like a just like the moment where i'm like, okay Why is everyone doing this because it doesn't make sense when people are supposed to own a monkey?
Yes, right like the dust don't Yeah, it's stupid, but there's like you think about like the boys or something so many people That's how so many people die on that show. Yes, right? Um MCU I feel like that happens a lot too people like vaporize or Isplozy onay no no return to ash. Oh, well.
Yeah, I mean half the half day plan turn That I mean the MCU is so neutered. That doesn't do anything like that Yeah, but I think a lot of it must just come down to budget and it's like easy to be like stand there Action cutting lazy my gala is it sucks. It looks terrible because it's like and there's just like I think like the there is like a disconnect from what's like Between what's happening on screen and what it's supposed to represent where it's like you don't feel the mortality of those people because they just like vaporize Right, right. It's like it's such an insane incomprehensible way to die Yeah, I also but at the same time in reality that is happening more and more which is what people are going as opposed to yeah, you know Yeah, of course, but like I don't I just I always feel like horror movies Horror movies are supposed to be like an escape right and like there are escapes from the horrors of the world like the world is a horrible place filled with These real fucking horrors right you go to a movie like hell razor or something or even the monkey Right you go hoping like to see something like to have a good time and to be like scared or see something super fucked up in like a controlled environment Yeah, you see the surge of that feeling but at the end of the day you walk out and you're like safe, right?
Like that's kind of the deal. It's a thrill ride. It's a roller coaster. Yeah, so like I don't know and especially something like that the monkey where it's like so much of it's like uh, oh we're gonna it's Just continually people dying right like that's the point is like every time you turn the key somebody dies To have that be the premise and to not for like for fucking what's his name?
I was good parkans for him to make this movie and not Be inventive or creative enough to be like every every single death has to be something fun and interesting Every single death has to be something new and different right so i'm like what are you even doing? Why do it then man? The consequence of like him half-assing so many of like the premises of those deaths Is such that like when a guy gets filled up with bees and then explodes like you're just like all right well somehow that's not earned Right like this is weird thing where it's like you did it one time and that's what you did Like if it's that in sort of like a continuum of like equally kooky deaths I think maybe you can like that makes a lot more sense It doesn't sort of you know like bristle against it as much but yeah that movie sucks remember the bowling ball thing with the cannon That's so stupid the mouse traps. Yeah, oh my god.
I hate that movie man. It sucks I love listening to do boys and the action boys where now they've seen it and like oh do they hate it too Yeah, they saw it all together and like just in the last like couple weeks or whatever They just like every once in a while they were like throwing like you saw the stupid monkey and it's so fucking dumb Like on the action boys. They were like talking about how fucking like stanger said something He was like something happened on screen and I like you know got up like I was pretending to leave And then he's like and then roger's like actually got up like actually going to leave Oh It's okay a lot more for yourselves people it really is you should want more for yourselves also This one I think one of the cardinal sins of that movie is how painfully unfunny it is I know we did a whole episode about this and we beat this into the ground But I want to reiterate because people might be listening this might be their first episode So I want to make it know yeah, make it known we should open every episode by saying that the monkey is the least funny movie ever made Trying it sucks. It sucks.
It sucks. It sucks. It sucks so bad. It's I mean the fact that it's even trying to be funny is I find offensive It's annoying.
It's just annoying. I'm annoying. Um the movie hell reads are bloodlined from 1996. Yes.
Yes get back on target They we need that button. Yeah, so then so they can't get John is dead and then we go back to 21 27 John dies in the middle John dies in the middle. That's right. Uh, yes now.
We're back to 21 27 Which we're we're not just in like we went from like 17 96 to 1996 when I go to 1,96. I don't know anyway um so we're on the space station and Paul had told his story Paul. Yes, and then Paul tell it he's like and actually right before you guys came in and put a gun to my head I was talking to pinhead and Uh, he's in that he's locked in there right now and I have locked up in there and I had this whole thing this whole plan and you're fucking it up And they're like they don't believe him and then we get like probably another like 15 minutes or so of Like haunted house kind of shit on the space station where somebody opens up the damn door They let pinhead and is and the twins and now oh the other thing too angelique Um in 1996 Uh, she gets sucked into the puzzle box right like the whole thing with John goes south pinhead is like angelique You fucked up and now you have to be a centabyte and so now we see Uh on the space station we see angelique as a centabyte and she got like, you know We had like a split down the center of her her head and her skin is like peeled back and stuff so Um, it's cool. I like her look.
Yeah, it looks good. She looks amazing, honey Did you know she there's like a deleted scene apparently she was gonna have her own scene about Oh really pre I guess pre her becoming a scene about herself. They're gonna be clowns I think it was gonna be set in like the past oh like a circus. Oh, I think so.
Yeah, that would have been cool It says they're deleted scenes of the footage might be out there somewhere, but that'd be pretty I would love to I would love to get my hands on that um, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, so um you know one by one of these uh Fucking these like soldier guys they die um Was named paul dr. Paul here. He's he has a connection with rimmer here and he knows These deaths the soldiers or whatever they're okay like one guy gets like his skin ripped off by hooks We've seen that I like the guy who's it's his face right is that you're talking about where they pulled just his face and he's like Yeah And we do see him like skinless for a second which is fun. Yeah, that is fun Um, there's one guy who gets like pulled into a mirror and then he's like cut directly in half kind of fun Kind of fun don't make no sense but kind of fun.
Yeah, the other one the guy gets sort of like He's killed by the twins now the twins separate what happens here So yeah, they don't show the problem is they don't show it But it seems like they sort of like twist this guy up Also, like so they separate and then they stand next to him and then they sort of attach and maybe like Like sort of wind him up and like ring out his like body. Oh, and then like he he like he's just like him somehow Okay, that's like becomes the connection between them. Um third brother. Yeah third brother Um But uh, so dr.
Paul. He's like all right. I still I have a plan here Um to how to end this uh rimmer. You got to get out of here Uh Get on the space shuttle.
Um and she's like i'm not leaving without you. He's like that's fine Just get on there get everything ready. I'm not gonna sacrifice myself if I don't have to so that's where we're at here Um pinhead is like He thinks he's got pinheads like talking all kinds of shit. He thinks he's got the upper hand here.
He's like he's I'm the best. I'm the greatest. I can't be killed The best the greatest has ever been and the best pinhead there's ever been Um, he does say repeal ease like you can't kill me. You can't kill me.
I'm the pinhead. Yeah, which is a cool thing to say It is a four things. I am forever is pretty badass. Um, and he's like he talking about his you know, his bloodline He's like fucking you're fucking toymaker toymaker.
Like you can't get some toys. Yeah, you can't do shit Um, and then uh, these days are all playing with ipads anyway a lot of way to pick a profession bitch Your uh your toys are obsolete Nobody cares for puzzle boxes anymore Everyone just plays and then there's like a lot of reverb on this fruit ninja So yeah, he's talking to shit and then all hits him with the hologram He disappears and then I like pinheads like wait what what just happened? He's his eyes start like kind of like shifting back and forth. He's like where'd you go?
And then he like This is like and this does feel like something that's been happening since the first one like we kind of talk about it How they are like they're yeah, they're interdimensional demons basically But also they are kind of just like wait what when something doesn't go their way They're just like they don't don't eat right. Yeah, like kursey starts using the puzzle box in the first one he goes Don't do that wait wait. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Now curse hang on So, yeah, whoa, where'd you get that? All right easy?
He hits him with the he hits him with the Luke Skywalker. He does he hits him with the first projection He hits him with the uh total recall Yeah, he does a total recall situation And he he pops up on the the monitor there and he's sitting next to Rimmer on the spaceship And they've already like left they're like actually pinhead. I fucking I fucking owned your ass. You're you're such a fucking dummy I wish someone had called him pinhead Yeah, he's like yeah, he's like I had this play in the whole time You actually fell into my trap.
So fuck you and uh, i'm out he five-fowie and he uh And yeah, thanks on the ship start exploding and the ship the station itself We see it from the outside and it closes in. Oh shit. The entire station is a puzzle box That's right. And there are these beams of light forming uh fucking he what was the configuration called again?
Oh like um Oh the Elysium configuration the Elysium so he's completed the Elysium configuration that is maybe grandfather a great grandfather was working on in 1996 And he has used it to destroy the whole thing like asploads We see pinhead kind of go the way of uh the leprechaun and start melting Yeah, he goes the way with the leprechaun. He like yeah Half of his face like starts like peeling away in shit I think this is just like a product of watching in like high def a movie from 96 But and I think probably unintentional cool effect is like the eye socket You can see some like mesh under it. Yeah, and I was kind of just like oh what is pinhead even made of at this point? Yeah, I think I think you're right.
I think that's probably you know, I don't know if we're supposed to see that mesh Either way, I think it looks cool. I agree. I am you're like oh shit. This guy's so fucking metal But also in the lead up to this moment like pinheads talking about how he's like i'm the fucking darkness, baby I live in the dark.
I rule darkness rocks. Yeah darkness rules light rules and um as the box is closing and it's like blinding light or whatever Um, you do hear paul say something like he he refers to it as oblivion It's just pure light forever and does pinhead say amen It's sort of like his jesus wept moment. Yes. Yeah, pretty good.
That's pretty good. It's like it's like good dumb smart guy stuff. Yeah, yeah, it's like good as it's like a line in the fourth Yeah, yeah, yeah, um, oh man The station explodes we see their ship sort of flying safely seems like back to earth fucking putt to credits. No, no, yeah There's no we are out, baby.
That was crazy. I was I was loving that. I thought for sure We'd get some sort of tease that like there's oh, there's more demons But they I think we're just like pretty sure this was gonna be the last one. Yeah, so they just they're like let's wrap it up pinhead Pinhead long live pinhead.
Yes. Um and this movie is like fun. I do. I agree.
I agree and more than made its money back too That's that's pretty sweet. Yeah, that's my concern as a film film fan But okay, so at least according to the the pinhead pedia here Um, it was maybe the highest grossing hell razor movie in the us. Oh, wow, which is a little surprising. Yeah, and seems impossible Yeah, it's my to question The the hell razor wickipedia the fan run Wikipedia right anyway.
Um, yeah, I like this movie I had fun. I did not have the sense that I've had after Well, the other movies we watch for this year like literally every other movie we've watched for the series where I'm just like I feel myself I feel like I just went through the princess bride torture machine where I felt like the life leaving my body And I just are crying real soft Elwez style. Yeah, it is whimpering Yeah, um, no, I think clean fun. Yeah, good.
Uh, good clean fun with pinhead That's the pinhead guarantee. Um, all right. You want to uh, log letterbox it? Head over to letterbox.com slash kingmepod Check out letterbox.com slash kingmepod and check out patreon.com slash kingmepod for the double feature this right?
Of course, we're talking hell razor one. That's right. This whole series. We're going back to the beginning for our space based sequels That's right.
Um, so you can hear about critters one if you're a freak like rob Into you the most boring shit in the world is a lot of fun for some reason. That's right and you can also hear about leprechaun one Where if for some reason you're also like rob you draw a distinction between that and critters one Even though they're both the most boring shit. I've ever seen my whole goddamn life Fair enough. Fair enough.
Okay. So I open this up. I sort of just like happened to hover my cursor over three stars Yeah, I gave it three star. This is a three.
This is a clean three star picture. It's a clean three You know, you're it's a good time. It's I think it in total with the credits. It's 84 minutes Oh, love it.
Let's see if we can go even shorter folks Yeah, I understand that maybe the director had another vision in mind and the producers interfered, but I don't know Yeah, yeah, he did product. I'm in yeah. Let's not forget he smithy this thing and watching it. You're like, why it's fine It's completely fine.
Yeah, man had integrity. I guess it's also funny to Do that when you've never directed a movie before yeah, that's hilarious. I'm taking my name off I want I don't want to do this anymore. I want to be here So here here's my pitch for a well.
Do you want to go first? Uh, you go ahead. Okay. My pitch is uh Um, I gotta see more movies by this alley and allen smithy character.
Yeah, I like it. Yeah, what's yours? Um, I didn't really have one. Yes, you do.
I mean like I wrote one. It's just futuristic. Hellraiser is silly. Um That's it.
I just I like it. I don't know alan smithy fucking I like your alan smithy. All right. There we go.
I gotta see I gotta see more pictures by this Alan smithy cat Yeah Okay, would you give this a like I like asking you because you resent this Um, I don't think I would to me like is like I would rewatch this again. I wouldn't watch this I would really only rewatch this if I was doing like a I don't know if I was specific podcast. Well, I just doing like I got I want to rewatch all of the hell raisers and I have to watch them in order Yeah I I think that's I think that's fair. Uh, this is a real like watching clips on youtube kind of thing for me Sure, because again the twins that's fun.
That's fun. We haven't said and twins once really which is healthy We're healing. We're healing nature is healing. I like our review for hellraiser one, which I won't say because it hasn't happened yet, but Right, but check that out.
Yeah, uh, over on patreon.com slash gaming pod Does that cost money? It's five dollars a month. That's hardly that's a pittance You get so much content. You really do at this point every that's the way to think about it every week The value of your subscription increases good for you the savvy consumer.
Yes All right guys, so And next uh next Tuesday. We're we're talking Jason x Uh, we're taking Jason for he's the space and the next friday. Um, we're visiting the original Friday the 13th. We're going to camp Chris the lake will be gone.
Okay, Chris the lake. That's what it is. We'll be gone is uh, that's that that other guy Which one uh Prairie home companion? Oh, oh, okay.
Um, what's all right? Sutter cane. Okay, that's it. That's it for the show.
Um, it's back to outer space for us. So until next time Excel cell or