Help! I've Become My Parents (How to Break Cycles of Generational Trauma and Shame)

Have you ever caught yourself doing or saying something — and suddenly realized: I've become my parents?!That unsettling moment is where this conversation begins.In Ep 17 of The Work Within podcast, John Lin is joined by therapists Ly Tran (LPC-S) and Dieula Previlon (LPC-S) to explore one of the most universal and consequential dynamics in human life: the patterns we inherit from our families, and what it takes to change them.They discuss why trauma gets repeated even when we desperately don't want it to, the tension between honoring our parents and being honest about our experience, and how awareness of existing patterns enables the deliberate creation of new ones.Their conversation is grounded in this belief: with intentional awareness and effort, we can break generational cycles and create something truly new and different. In this episode:- How the fear of dishonoring your parents can prevent healing- How conflict styles and attachment patterns are "caught, not taught" in childhood- What shame has to do with generational trauma- A theological lens on Exodus 34:7 — what "generational sin" actually means (and what it doesn't)- Practical wisdom for beginning this workChapters00:00 – Introduction: Have You Become Your Parents? 02:28 – Meet the Co-Hosts: Dieula Previlon & Ly Tran 03:15 – Startling Moments of Realization 06:45 – You Can Honor Your Parents and Be Honest  08:07 – Why Family Loyalty Can Keep You Stuck 13:44 – How Attachment & Conflict Styles Get Passed Down15:40 – Shame Spreads Quietly Across Generations 20:18 – Why We Repeat Trauma Even When We Know Better 25:47 – What the Bible Says About Generational Sin (Exodus 34:7) 28:19 – Awareness, Grace, and the Role of Therapy 34:51 – What Breaking the Cycle Looks Like in Real Life 41:21 – Practical Steps: Go Slowly, Grieve It, Be Kind to YourselfHostsJohn Lin: Director of Partnerships, Watershed Initiative & Executive Director, Sweet Deeds FoundationDieula Previlon, LPC-S: Founder of ElevateHer International Ministries, Licensed Professional Counselor and Ordained Minister Dr. Ly Tran, LPC-S: Founder and Lead Executive Director of The WELD Group, Licensed Professional CounselorResources If you're looking for a clinically trained Christian therapist, we'd love to help. 🎁 THERAPY DISCOUNT: Mention "The Work Within" for 10% off your first 5 sessions (New, Self-Pay). Call/Text 214-414-0378. Articles & Transcript ConnectSubscribe & Review: Apple | Spotify | YouTube Follow: Instagram | Facebook Contact: [email protected]