Helping or Just...Helping Them Stay a Mess

Traditionally, we have linked enabling behavior to addiction. The spouse that sets the drink limits or tries to get rid of any booze they find around the house. They try to control the social events and feel that if they watch them closely enough they can prevent the person from getting “too drunk.” Or the spouse that allows the partner to drink only certain kinds of liquor because that seems to help. They rationalize that the person they love (when not intoxicated) is worth the treatment when their spouse is drunk- the arguments, the blackouts, the DUIs. This is how we traditionally see enabling behavior. Or the family member that bails out their addicted child, getting attorneys to fight charges or works to get them dropped altogether. All in an effort to prevent the person from feeling or facing the consequences of their actions. But there are other ways in which we can enable behavior and today, we talk about enabling- what it is, why someone would do it, and what to do to change it. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit abbeysamide.substack.com