Hesed: What the Love of God Actually Feels Like

There's a word in the Old Testament — used 245 times — that no translator has ever fully captured. Six English translations render it 169 different ways. In 1535, Miles Coverdale gave up and coined a brand-new word for it: lovingkindness.The word is hesed, and it's how God first chose to describe Himself.When Moses asked God who He was, God didn't lead with power or position. He led with love: "compassionate and merciful, slow to anger, filled with unfailing love" (Exodus 34:6). In this episode — week two of our Integration series — Tony unpacks what it means to move from believing God loves you to actually experiencing it, why some of us were never given the capacity to receive that love (A-trauma — the love that was absent), and how the love we finally receive becomes the only love we have worth giving.Along the way: the difference between a hundred pennies and four quarters, what Hosea 11 reveals about the heart of a Father who won't let go, and the story of Brennan Manning in a doorway that you won't forget.Scriptures referenced: Exodus 34:6 · Genesis 2:24 · Deuteronomy 10:20 · Hosea 2 & 11 · Psalm 66 · Psalm 33:5 · 1 John 4:20 · Philippians 2 · John 3:16Take the next step: Not sure which wound is keeping you stuck? Take the free 3-minute quiz at https://nolongerstuck.org — 12 questions to identify whether insignificance, independence, or isolation is keeping you from integration with God.Need to talk to someone? The team at Helping Others Heal is available online or in person → https://helpingothersheal.orgI'm Tony Portell — pastor, fire department chaplain, crisis intervention specialist, and author. Thanks for being with me.Ready to find out where you're stuck? Take the free 4-I Quiz at NoLongerStuck.org — four minutes, instant results, and a clear next step personalized to where you actually are in your relationship with God and yourself.Want to go deeper? If you're ready for more than an episode — if you want someone to walk alongside you — visit HelpingOthersHeal.org to learn about coaching and counseling options.Have a question? Send it to [email protected]. I read every one, and your question may be answered on a future episode.No Longer Stuck — faith, neuroscience, and the path to integration. New episodes every week.