Hey, You're Not Aspiring. You're Inspiring.

This wouldn’t be the first time one of my videos inspired my writing. I find it funny that someone as soft-spoken as me has such power in her words. I’ve reached more people than I can count by speaking life to a past version of me or my current circle of friends, family, and community.I guess that’s why I’m shocked that “writer” was such a hard title for me to own. Let me explain.It wasn’t that I wasn’t writing. I have vivid memories of using the infamous red marker on the white door in my childhood bedroom (and having to paint over that) and reading my first poem, “Love and Hate”, for the monologue I needed for an audition in middle school as a theater kid.Before you at me, I was 11! Give me some grace, y’all. The titles got better, I promise.I would assign accolades and markers for every label to keep it out of reach for myself. Using the fact that I hadn’t written a book or gone to school for it or because people kept projecting their unsolicited opinions on me as a means to justify my skating around it. Getting just close enough for other people to call me it so I could brush it off or go “I haven’t even done x yet! I’ll be able to call myself that when I do.”I’m annoyed with myself too. It’s fine.This also stems from that pesky fear I had of being perceived for exactly who I was.I’m great. I know this. But the idea that other people saw it too when I was a shy, introverted nerd? Yeah, no. I ran like the plague or stayed in my own little corner in my own little chair.Then, I had a thought before February 2025 came to an end.“What if every writer’s dream isn’t to publish a best-selling book?”“What if every musician isn’t in it for the shiny awards on the shelf?”“What if every artist doesn’t have the same dream?”I know you can answer these questions as well as I can. Every artist in the world, every person who considers themself creative, could not possibly have the same exact dream. Isn’t that the beautiful thing about it?We get to define the labels we wear much like we get to style our outfits every day. As soon as we picked up the pen or camera, went to that class, or acted on the plan, we adorned that label. Cause aspiring is to have a dream and never act on it. But, us? We took a chance and went towards it. That’s inspiring.So yes, I’m an inspiring writer. I’m an inspiring author. I’m inspiring.I’m everything I think I am and I can get paid to exist exactly as I am because how I do what I do may change but creativity runs through this blood like magic. And I get to create a ripple effect that creates the waves that keep this world afloat. I won’t fight it anymore. Instead, Imma flow with it. Enjoy it. Experience it. Set it free.Now, Natasha Rothwell sums it up beautifully too, and the fact that she gave me such confirmation that I slid off the bed halfway… *giggles* Just because your paycheck doesn’t match your ambitions doesn’t mean you’re not those things.Do you see why I had such a physical reaction? Or am I just extra? This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit cydneyrai.substack.com/subscribe