HN Bans AI Comments, JavaScript Finally Fixes Time, and Google Buys Wiz for $32B

Kai and Maya cover the top stories from Hacker News for Wednesday, March 11, 2026: - Hacker News officially bans AI-generated comments, sparking a 2400-point mega-thread about authenticity, enforcement, and what makes human conversation valuable. - JavaScript's Temporal API reaches Stage 4 after a nine-year journey, finally replacing the broken Date object with proper timezone, immutability, and nanosecond precision. - Mozilla argues WebAssembly remains a second-class citizen on the web and proposes the Component Model to eliminate JavaScript glue code. - John Gruber reviews the $600 MacBook Neo and declares iPads obsolete now that a capable Mac costs the same. - Google closes its $32 billion acquisition of Wiz, its biggest security bet, amid skepticism about whether the multi-cloud promise will last. - A Verge reporter tries AI-powered job interviews and finds a dehumanizing bot-versus-bot arms race that erodes trust on both sides. - METR research reveals that half of AI-generated pull requests passing SWE-bench tests would be rejected by real maintainers, showing benchmarks and real code review are very different bars.