Hopeful Steps Counseling

And joining me today on the show is a new voice. If this were television, I would say a new face, but a new voice. A very nice young lady joining me. Hope Nastor, she has Hopeful Steps counseling.

Her very first, this is her business. She just graduated from school. I'm friends with Hope's mom and I found out about Hope through her mom and I wanted to bring her on the show today. A very, very nice young lady.

And hope I will start off by saying good morning to you and thanks so much for joining me today. Good morning to you too and I'm really happy to be here. Thanks for having me. So first off, I have to start by congratulating you.

Quite impressive accomplishment. You know, we never give people's age out, but you're young. You're just out of college and you've started your own counseling services. First off, tell me how this journey started.

When did you first realize you wanted to start to get into counseling? We're helping people, I should say. Oh, I started really, really young. I have to say probably as a child, maybe eight, ten years old.

And I just kind of was that person and all my friends would go to, that my brothers and cousins would come to to talk to and tell me about what's going on in their life. And I love to be the person that would listen to them and hear their stories and try and help them. So I kind of just felt like a therapist, a counselor, whatever you want to call it, from the very beginning. And I knew going into college, that's exactly what I wanted to do, an all through grad school.

And it's just been a really amazing experience. I always thought that I was the person who could do this, and then gaining all this knowledge and experience through education, was really something that helped me become not only a better counselor, but a better person to do this. So it started when I was really young. Wow, and hope while we're talking to you, give out your website and phone number.

If anybody wants to learn more about you, if they have any questions, if they want to learn more about your services, how can they get in touch with you? It is the website is HopefolleStepsCounseling.com, and located in Peyoli. And you can find the address on the website. And the phone number is 48475580.

And again, we're talking with Hope Nastor today on Weekend Focus, with Hopefolle Steps Counseling. And hope I have to ask to being good friends with your family, were they real supportive of what you wanted to do from the start, because we all know that that makes a big difference. Oh, absolutely. Sometimes, too supportive.

They're all asking me, what can we help with? How can we get you through this side or the other thing? I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful family to be very supportive through my whole experience. And especially my mom.

I have to give a shout out to her. She has been amazing, amazing. She funded my whole education. She's been there for me emotionally.

Every step of the way. I love it. And knowing your mom, myself, I call her a great friend. I've got to spend some time with her.

Just a beautiful person inside and out. Couldn't ask for a nicer person. And I know how proud she is of you, how proud your family is. But your mom and I, we've texted back and forth.

And the things that she's told me about, you know, heart of gold. She's so proud of you. And that's why when I heard this, I thought, man, I've got to have hope on the show here because, you know, I have other counselors on the show. We talk about different topics and discussions.

But, you know, and so I told you that this is your first time. Let's not make this your last time because I'd like to be able maybe to have you on the show on a regular basis as your schedule allows. Maybe if there are certain topics we can discuss here on the show with you. And I want people to go to your website, check you out, give you a phone call, because a lot of my guests, they're distanced from, you know, we're located here at the studio, but they still get good response from people.

And hope what I want to ask you next is if somebody's out there listening and they're considering going to school for counseling. I, you know, now what I've heard because this is something I had pondered it. I hear it's a lot of hours. I mean, there's a lot of book work you got to do.

It really does take a lot of hard work and dedication. Obviously, everything else does, but I hear this is a lot of hard work. Yes, yes, it's definitely hard work. There is the book work, the papers, the research, the internship experience.

But with counseling specifically, I think probably the most valuable experience you're going to have getting an education in the field is the work that you have to do with yourself. Because not only do you have to have the knowledge, the information on how to be a helping clinician, but you have to be a person who can do that, who can help others, who can be able to bear the weight of the suffering of the pain of other individuals and still be okay yourself. So, that part to me was very striking. I went into the thinking I was going to learn all this fun stuff about the mind and the behavior and psychology.

And then all of a sudden it was like, okay, I have to turn all that around on myself now and take a good hard look in work. And that was a surprise. But it turned out to be a phenomenal experience. And I would highly recommend it.

So definitely life-changing, right? Oh, absolutely. It's something, again, we're talking with Hope Nastra today on Weekend Focus and help off of the material from your website. I was reading, I do do do my homework.

I know people may think from time to time I don't, but I do check up on my guess, but I found an interesting, I'm taking part of this from your website. It says, and I'm quoting from it, I focus on creating a therapeutic relationship with you rather than much more, you're rather than much more than a client with symptoms. You're an intricate human being with a variety of concerns, needs, and strengths. And I like that because, you know, so oftentimes we're looked at just somebody with a problem with an illness because people that know me and listen to the show, there's been ups and downs in life.

We all have them. I would recommend anybody get counseling. I've put myself through counseling. There's been rough patches in life.

Listen, just because you hear my voice coming out of the radio, out of your iPad, or whatever. I'm human. I still have problems too, just as much as the rest of them. That's why I tell people, this is just a job that doesn't put me above anyone else.

I'm right down here, just human level two. But what I like is, there's been a couple counselors I've gone to. One was real good. One I wasn't really impressed with because you just felt like another number.

But with you, it feels like you will get that personal individualized treatment, and you really will take time. And I can already tell from interviewing you, you really take time and listen to your clients. Yes, definitely. I feel like that is the most important part of counseling.

And I would say when we're looking to find a counselor, you have to find somebody who's going to fit with you. All counselors are really, I'm not going to put down any counselors, but it has to be somebody who has to fit with yourself and your views and your personality. It has to be a good match. And the way that I do therapy at my practice is I don't, yes, I know all the techniques and the theories and how you're supposed to do this and the other thing and the research and statistics.

And that I got from my education, but what I feel like has been changing for most people to create positive, lasting change for most people is to have a real authentic connection and relationship with somebody. So what I try and focus on is creating that space to build that kind of connection between two people, to put myself on the same level with them. And from that comes real understanding, real empathy and genuine positive regard from both ends. And that has shown me and my experience to create that real change that people are looking for in their lives.

And again, hope Nester here on Weekend Focus with me is something else from just taking a portion of this. You will not be labeled or judged by others as an individual. I love that because so often someone will think, you know, I've had people years ago when I went through counseling, someone said, well, aren't you afraid somebody might think, I thought, you know, what if they think I'm a weak person or in my eyes? If that makes me, what they deem quote crazy, that's fine.

I'm crazy anyways. I don't even count. I always say it takes a strong person to admit. You know what?

Listen, our lives so much anymore. Hope everything just seems like faster, faster, faster. We talked about technology before we got on the line here. Sometimes I would be happy if I could maybe try a tin cans and string with this technology, but we're expected to go faster and faster.

And yet we really can't go faster and faster. Sometimes we need to step back whether maybe it's a relationship problem, maybe a death in a family, maybe there's career changes, maybe there's some, just something else. It doesn't even really have to be anything major. Maybe if there's something troubling in our mind that's unsettling.

That's why it's a good idea. I always recommend therapy. I've been there done that. It's done me a little good.

Yes, I could not agree more. I would recommend it to anybody. And you're absolutely right. Life is hard.

There's so many ups and downs. And I don't understand how people could be expected to go with a loan. Just like you would go to a doctor for a checkup, you should go to a therapist or a counselor to check in with yourself. And part of what I love doing as a therapist is destigmatizing mental health issues because I have honestly in the entirety of my...

So far have not met one person who isn't struggling with something or just has something that they want to improve on or change or work on. And that's what counseling is for. You don't have to be crazy. You don't have to have schizophrenia.

You don't have to have a diagnosis or severe mental health to speak therapy. Maybe you just want to gain more self-confidence. Maybe you just want to work on your relationship with your parents or whatever it might be. And it really is for everybody.

Exactly. It's almost like I think of the scene from Wizard of Oz when she meets up with the Scarecrow and the road goes different ways. They're not sure which way to go. He's kind of pointing every which way direction.

But eventually he helps guide their way. That's what I look like to look at is counselor therapy. Kind of somebody though. We meet that fork in the road.

Man, they're going to be there. It's somebody obviously that will listen to us because listen. Our friends, they do listen to us. Our family listens to us.

But really that only goes to a point. When you're one-on-one with somebody in that room, that time... And I always say, you may not always have the answer to the threat. But to really have that time to just look at someone and get out what's in your mind.

That weight there to me does a world of good. And then you take that and you kind of... I guess will help me see logically maybe my irrational thought. Maybe I'm making a rash decision on something.

You can say, well, wait a minute, Paul. Let's look at it like this. And then you can turn it back around and really take that and send it back to me. But I see it now in a whole new light.

Right. We're kind of like a... We can be a blank canvas for you to take what's going on in your head and your heart and what you're feeling and kind of dump it out on to us. And then we paint a nice picture for you about what you just put out there for us.

And then you can really look at it. You can really examine it. And I feel like when it's on the inside of somebody, it's hard for them to see. But when they can put it out there in front of another person who is empathetic and understanding and supportive and is there for them, it's much easier to look at.

And there's less stress to look at it. I think sometimes we push it away or hide it. And we don't want to look at it because it's too overwhelming. But there's somebody there who's going to support you.

That's what there is to be a support system for you. Absolutely. Again, we're talking with Hope Nester today on Weekend Focus. She's with Hopeful Steps Counseling.

A new guest here on the show. So proud of her. This is her. She just graduated from school recently.

You've been working very hard. Your own business now starting up. And I want people to get in touch with you. Check out your website.

Hope, how can they do that? What's the phone number on your website? Again, I know I asked you earlier, but we'll have you give that out again. Sure.

It's Hopeful Steps Counseling.com. And then the phone number is 4847525580. And you can find all this information on the website. It's Hopeful Steps Counseling.com.

Perfect. And something else on your website because I'm a Harry Potter fan. And the Harry Potter members have asked you've been from JK Rowling. I'm not sure from that.

Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light. So true. Why wonder around in the dark? You can help us turn on that light.

Absolutely. That's one of my favorite parts of it. Being that aha moment in your client's eyes. When they finally click for them.

When they pour out everything that's on the item, they're looking at the canvas. And they can be like, oh, I see what's going on now. It's my favorite part of counseling. We work for weeks and weeks and weeks talking through things and working through the hard stuff.

And then we finally get to this point that part that inspires me. The part that I'm passionate about watching someone come out on top from their struggling. That aha moment. Second they turn on the light.

I love it. And another thing people may be thinking, well, I'm going to have to take out alone. It's going to break the bank to go seek counseling. And all this information is on your website.

And people can go there. They can call you and talk to you. But with insurance without insurance, you will work with people pretty much anything. So we don't want to let people be discouraged from that because it really, I've checked it all out.

I was actually impressed. So that's all that information that people would need is on your website. But a lot of times people will think, well, gee, I've got to have insurance to do that. Well, the time I was going through counseling, I didn't have insurance to the counselor at the time.

You know what they work with me. And it was really affordable. It left me so I was able to go back and it wasn't like, okay, this is going to have to be a one-time deal. They were more than willing to work with me.

And that's what I like. And that's also another sign of somebody that's really dedicated and really has in their heart. They want to help people when they're willing to work with you. They don't look at it as I'm running the other direction because you don't have insurance.

Absolutely. Yes. Everything is sliding scale. I do have some fees on the website.

But I am really, really flexible with that. Because like I said, it's my passion. I love to do it. And I really don't think that anybody should be denied care that they want or need because of financial concerns.

To me, it's just not so right. So, yes, very flexible. And you know, I know there are certain cases and individuals. I know everybody, doctors and therapists can recommend this.

And I know a lot of times medication helps. There are times medication in combination with therapy helps. But then there's times when just that therapy alone, that getting that counseling service, and we talked about this, that can really be the answer to many people's prayers. They're problems.

That really just having someone such as yourself to sit down and talk with them. Even maybe if it's over the phone, if somebody can't get there in person, I'm sure you can work something out over the phone so they can do that over the phone. But just having that ear to listen to you really sometimes that can make or break a person. And I know for me when I was going through issues, having that counselor there, and I formed that.

I looked at my counselor, you know, as a friend, when I went in there, I looked forward to talking with her. You know, obviously you're on a first name basis with each other, and you start to really get comfortable with each other and no one another. And it just really, you know, I like to look at it. That's our time.

That's our time to go and air out all of our concerns, you know, our problems. That's on our mind and walk out holding our head a little higher with a smile on our face knowing you know what, it will be okay. Right. Right.

Oh, I'm so glad you've had this experience. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, you're absolutely right.

And I like what you've said about that's your time. That's because you're a great listener. Yes, yes, yes. If anything at all, that gives you your time.

You like you've said earlier, we're so fast-paced. We're trying to run, run, run and go, go, go. We often forget about ourselves. So if anything at all, if you have no problems with whatever, you at least have maybe an hour that you spend a week for just for yourself.

Perfect. And I hope just a couple more questions for you. Then I promise I will let you go. I really enjoyed talking to you today and having you a guest on the show.

And thank your mom for getting you in touch with me. I have to, you know, kind of, while we talk a lot of serious, have a little fun here, you know, family gatherings now. I've got to be interesting because if anybody, you know, because I've had a guest on the show what to do with dealing with difficult people during the holidays. Well, you know, your family's answer is you.

You're probably there watching in any little family quarrels because we all have them. You're going to be the one analyzing and helping solve those issues. So you've all, you've got one up on everybody, right? Oh, yes, of course.

Not in a chance. Not in a chance. My mom, she always says, why can't you just help me whenever she's going through something we're talking about it together. Like, what can you just help me?

Why can't I see you? And mom, mom, I'm not as cool as you and feel like I'm feeling like that. You know, it's not going to ask you. Is it tough?

Like, you know, maybe if it's somebody like a sibling or, you know, maybe even a close friend or family member, is it tough when they come to you? Do you kind of get a little nervous when they ask you what your opinion is because you kind of be a little confused? Are they asking me because I'm their daughter, their friend, or are they asking hope to counsel her? Is it get a little, you know, does it weigh on you a little bit?

No, it's a really great question. Something that I had to learn over the years around my education and experience is to separate myself. I don't know if I can help with my therapist's health, I had to make them two separate people. I didn't want to in my personal, I'd not be able to talk to my family members about their problems, about their issues.

I don't want to just say, hey, no, we can't go there. I'm a therapist. That would be biased. It would be unethical.

So, whenever that happens, whenever something my family wants to talk or any issues occur, I turn off my therapist. And I put on my personal hat back on. And I just talked to them as I would their daughter, their niece, or granddaughter or cousin. I've always wondered that.

I never really knew how do you know. How do you know when to put that, you know, the counselor hat on and the you hat on? I mean, I know they kind of intertwined, but that's really wonderful that you've learned to separate that because I would think that would be one of the biggest hurdles. It was.

It's very difficult to do, but when did you get the hang of it? It becomes pretty naturally. Maybe when you're standing next to Mom's always right, right? Of course, yes.

Whatever she says goes. Mom's always right. When you get to be in your 30s as I am, around 40 months, this day, Mom is still right. You may not always agree, but Mom's always right.

So always remember that's one piece of advice we need to carry with us, right? Absolutely. I should just tell my clients from now on. Just ask your mom.

Whatever she says. Whatever she says. Whatever it is. And I have to ask you hope if anybody's out there.

Maybe if there's somebody that's dealing with individuals, would you see couples? If they're having problems, or do you prefer to see individuals, or if anybody has any questions, just get in touch with you and you'll figure out how to handle that. But to anybody, pretty much you'll help them out, right? Yes, I will.

Perfect. And I do think that's a big hurdle to help out the couples because, man, it's difficult. I would say, we all need to come with an inverse manual. I always say I should have came with one.

But when you're trying to bring two people, they're trying to coexist. They're just sometimes more than just, you know what, why didn't you wince the toothpaste that you spit out in the sink? You left your socks on the floor. You know, there's a little nitpicky things.

Then you got the major things. But even if it's just little things, people maybe need a little help to smooth out the road a little bit, right? Right. Absolutely.

Couples are very interesting dynamic. I can say that. But they're also very beautiful dynamic as well. Watching them kind of solve some of their issues is just amazing to me.

And what it really ends up being is finding a way for them to connect, working on their communication styles and learning to get to know each other on a people level. You know what, I never could figure that out. And I'm asking you just not so much for the hope, the counselor, but maybe even hope the personal, you know, to put on your personal hat. Why people, I never could figure that out.

This is a topic I've covered many times on the show. I'm guilty of charge. We just don't talk. I don't know why we assume.

I know the old saying when you assume you make it know. But why we always assume the other person knows what we're thinking is, you know, communicate. God gave us two years in the mouth for a reason. You know, we should listen more and, you know, listen before we speak.

But why we just don't say what we feel, obviously within reason, but you don't always want to assume people know what you're thinking, what's in your mind, because, you know, then I could be a psychic. And that's not happening. But I think that would solve a lot of problems if we just, that simple word, communication. Right.

Absolutely. Saying what we feel is kind of the biggest, I mean, that's step one. But it's also how we say it. So it's under good communication comes from speaking to another individual in the way that they're going to understand it, which is why it's very important for couples to know each other well on a very deep level.

Not just what's your favorite color when your birthday ones are anniversary, but how am I going to be able to say that to him or her that they're going to hear it and understand it and accept it? I mean, I think that's one of the biggest difficulties, personally, at least. Exactly. I think.

Well, hope I have to say, you know, again, I said at the beginning of the show, again, we're talking with Hope Nester today on a weekend focus with Hopal Steps Counseling. And I'll have you give that website and phone number out again here in just a moment. But, you know, I have to again say I'm friends with your mom and I consider you a friend now too. But I'm just over the moon so proud of you.

I know your mom is your family, you know, just quite an accomplishment. And, you know, right up the alley here with the guests that I have on the show talking about different issues. And I'm going to add you in as somebody that I can turn to if I need, you know, we need topics discussed or if there's something you want to talk about, you think people want to know about, please, you have an open invitation anytime here on the show. But again, I want to just say congratulations to you and how proud I am of you.

Oh, thank you. You're so nice. Well, if you spend enough time with me, you might differ on that a little bit if you really know. I have my moments.

I always tell people I try to be as nice as I can, but we talk a little bit before we went on here. There's always those people, it doesn't matter how nice you are. They always, now and then you've got to learn to deal with this and life too. There's always those people that are abrasive.

They come along. You can be as nice to them as possible. They still find a way to try to stomp you down. And I got to look at that as that's just somebody that's miserable within and they try to cast out on everybody else.

And you've got to sometimes learn to let that roll, I guess. Right. Danger perspective. You can see how you feel.

Exactly. And that's another thing when you say, well, someone so made me mad. One thing I always learned was, no, so and so. Okay, I can say, hope made me mad.

She took my ice cream away from me and ate it right in front of me. And it's like, well, you know, I know I've been nice with hope, did by taking your ice cream. If she, you allowed her to make you mad. You can just say, okay, she wanted that ice cream.

I'll just go get me another one. She can have it if she likes that. But how do you use an exam, I don't know. But I want my frame.

I probably make it. I do too. A lot of chocolate sauce on it too. That's perfect.

Not good for diabetic, but you know what? I do it anyways. But no, that's, we allow people to make us feel, certainly, because we always say so and so made me mad. Well, you allowed so and so to make you mad.

So that was one of the big things that I learned. And then I always learned if there's uncomfortable situations I always had a counselor that just said, don't go there. Now, obviously, within reason something she got to face, but if there's a situation that you may be faced with that you'd really, it's not necessary that maybe we'll bring up the bad feelings or make you uncomfortable and just don't go there. And so there's things that stick out in our minds.

And I often, I recommend counseling to anyone who may need it. And hope one final time here. Give us your phone number and website. It's hobostepscounseling.com and 48475525580.

Perfect. Again, that's Hopeful Steps Counseling. And we're talking with Hope Nester today. Her phone number 4847525580.

And hope I won again. Thank you so much for taking time to be with me today on the show. Thank you so much for having me. I had a great time.

Well, I did too. And I look forward to talking to you again in the future here. Absolutely.