This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. It's our number one, our one Ben Maller Show, bringing the razzle-dazzle here on this Friday, the sixth day of November. It is a last show of the week for us, which means the Fifth Hour podcast takes over, so we have fresh audio content every single day, twice a couple of times. Friday, we get two episodes, and then on Sunday and Saturday, you get one episode of the Fifth Hour podcast. So make sure to check that out wherever you get your podcasts, wherever you found this podcast, the Ben Maller Show podcast. You can enjoy the Fifth Hour, and it's a strawberry shortcake-heavy edition.
You'll have to listen to understand what I'm talking about. But it's all about Strawberry Shortcake on the Fifth Hour podcast later today. Here in hour number one, how did things go for Ravens undrafted rookie quarterback Joe Fagnano? How did that go? We'll talk about that. Also, what's the word for how Liam Cohn's Jaguars played? And how did Al Michaels and company handle the blowout game as...
The Ravens won going away, and we will document the many things that Amazon turned to to try to keep people listening and watching engaged. We'll get to all of that, and who knows what else here on this Friday. It's our number one. Well, that was definitely not Joe Cool. Not sure what that was.
Wasn't professional football at its finest. Welcome in the beginning of another night of the Ben Maller Show. We are in the air everywhere. We make a connection and we try not to bite the dust coast to coast, border to border and beyond on the vast and bluntly powerful microphones of FSR emanating live from the blend as our takes are marinated. In the Mather proprietary blend of seasonings, a secret recipe, guaranteed human, from the world-famous Fox Sports Radio studios.
Where the Green Bay Gobbler, gobble, gobble, gobble, reminds us that this hour along with E-Dog from Long Island, this hour made possible part by our friends at WeBull. Time to get your financial portfolio game ready with WeBull. Get powerful investing tools and real-time data all in one platform. Get started by downloading the WeBull app today or visiting WeBull.com. WeBull Financial, LLC, member SIPC, FINRA. Investing involves risk. For more information, visit WeBull.com slash disclosures. Now, Uncle Mo from Jersey, my guy Uncle Mo and the Sawman in Mississippi.
They reached out. They said, you know who the one is, Ben? I said, I know who the one is. It's Fox 1. NFL Week 9 is here. The Packers versus the Patriots. Sunday is America's Game of the Week streaming live on Fox 1. Now, if you miss it live, you're just watching a highlight. Don't be that person. Catch every play as it happens. Packers, Patriots, a lot of P's there. Packers and Patriots live on Fox 1 on Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. And we are back at it in the audio sweatshop, the dojo that does not stop. Open 24 hours a day. Coming up next hour. I'm already promoting ahead because some of you guys are addicted to calling the show.
And it's our Friday show, still late Thursday in the West. So on Friday, we have Benny versus the Penny. We've handpicked the eight most important games on the NFL card this week. We're off to a 1-0 start. I hate betting favorites, but thanks to Jacksonville for taking care of business there. We'll get to that game here in a minute. So we're off to a good start. We've got the eight games we're going to pick here and handicap those coming up in hour number two, which means no calls. For some of you, this is salvation. You don't have to hear from the normal knuckleheads that call the show. And so if you are one of the regulars or somebody that wants to call in, this will be the hour to do it. We'll give out the number in a couple. So just take note of that. But our lead story from rainy Baltimore. And that was the playground for the kickoff of NFL week number nine as Trevor Lawrence and the Jaguars were on the prowl.
visiting the state of Maryland where they have really good cake to take on the weather-beaten Ravens on that rainy night there. Not cold, but rainy. Al Michaels and Kirk Herbstreit, along with Dog Peter, the doggy, they had the call on Amazon. So I'm not sure if you watched. Chances are you didn't watch. Perhaps you missed it. Don't worry. It's our public service here. Our good miss for the day. We watched so you would not have to. And what did we see? Well, we saw Trevor Lawrence, who had 242 yards and a touchdown. Jacksonville barely worked up a sweat. They got wet from the rain. They didn't get wet from a sweat. And Joe Fagnano. Got to make sure I say that properly. That would be an FCC violation, much like a cigarette in Europe. But Joe Fagnano and Baltimore get mollywhopped 33-10. Your final, the Ravens drop under .500. They have now lost four.
Straight games. I didn't play in the NFL. I am told that is not good when you've lost four straight games. The better story, though, is in the losing locker room. And so let's discuss a good jumping off point. And here we go. Here we go. Now, before we get into it, let's hear from the head coach of the Baltimore football team, which is apparently a gentleman named Jesse Minter. You don't need to learn that name. I don't think he'll be there all that long. But here is Jesse Minter, the coach, pointing out this was a forgettable night of football for his team.
There's no whatever. We don't have this guy. We don't have that guy. We've got to make a decision, again, over this break. Got a little bit of a break for the guys to kind of mentally reset and come back and seek improvement, really, in all three phases. That's what we'll be after. Credit to our guys for fighting, but that's obviously a bare minimum. You always have to work some kind of credit in. There was nothing positive to take away from this game. Nothing. Zero. Zippo. Bupkis. But you can't say that as a coach. You go, I've got to give them credit for fighting.
He just lost by 23 points at home. All right, let's get to the quarterback, though, because everyone loves quarterbacks. They're more important people. They make more money. They get better-looking women when they date. You know, that kind of thing. So here's the question. How did things go for the Ravens undrafted rookie quarterback Joe Fagnano in his first NFL start? So I've got...
Barefoot Bandit, Jiffy Lube, and Filibuster. And we'll combine all of these things together, and we will outfox the competition. That's what we're going to do. So, A, the sports media, which I am not part of the mainstream. I'm on overnight. Mainstream, 6 a.m., 6 p.m. That's mainstream. I'm not part of that. I'm an occult here at night. The mainstream sports media really wanted.
A fairy tale. Cinderella showing up to the ball. Oh, Cinderella. Yeah. And Jacksonville apparently decided they were going to commit some crimes. They stole the glass slipper. They smashed the pumpkin with a baseball bat and repossessed the carriage. That's the modern day Cinderella. That's it. You could practically hear the production truck at Amazon and Al Michaels and Herbie trying to get a hold of Disney to get the rights to the Cinderella story. That first quarter was a one score game. It was 10 to 3 at the end of the first quarter. They were trying to manufacture the next Kurt Warner.
Unfortunately, nobody told the Jaguars they needed to cooperate. This was not David versus Goliath. This was David forgetting the slingshot and getting run over by a cement mixer. Where was that? I don't remember reading that in the David versus Goliath story. I don't recall the cement mixer being in there. What happened? So it turns out that the quarterback, Joe Fagnano, had 10 completions for 60 yards. He had a 22.7 passer rating. Now, keep in mind, if you throw the ball into the ground every single snap.
hut, hut, hike, take the ball, go back, and you spike the ball into the ground, you would have a 39.6 passer rating. So on this night, the dirt had a better passer rating than the Baltimore quarterback. And Fagnano is not, obviously, an NFL quarterback, but he had an opportunity. He's a great opportunity. You talk about a brass ring opportunity to go out there, you get one shot, one chance to show that you know what you're doing and you deserve another opportunity. And it turns out he was a crash test dummy who happened to be wearing NFL merch. So forget about the glass slipper.
As that did not happen, Fagnano was the barefoot bandit on this night. The Ravens quarterback running through a parking lot filled with broken beer bottles. In this case, also broken dreams. So it turns out that Fagnano is a 99 percenter, which there's nothing wrong with that being a 99 percenter. Unfortunately, the NFL is where the one percenters eat the 99 percenters for breakfast, or in this case, a late snack. They had the munchies is what they had. All right. Meanwhile, on the Jacksonville side, turning the page.
Because we believe in truth in broadcasting. So on the Jacksonville side, the question, what is the word? What is the word for how Liam Cohn's Jaguars played on this particular Thursday night, the lid lifter for week nine in the NFL? So the word I wrote on my notes app on my phone was workmanlike. Workmanlike is the word that I wrote.
Do you have a different word? I like my word, workmanlike. I think that's a solid word. It's the proper word. I came up with the word. There were no circus tricks. There was not a lot of razzle-dazzle. This was less a football spectacle. This was not some kind of dramatic statement. You could not have a statement in this situation for Jacksonville. This was more of a routine oil change at Jiffy Lube. Like you go in there, you show up, you get a couple of quarts of oil, and you move on with your day. And you go get something to drink or a donut or something like that. That's what you do. That's the move right there. That's it. And they did it.
So we do give Liam Cohn some credit, not too much, because you did what you're supposed to do. But I have seen so many times on the NFL, talking about the NFL, we've all seen it, teams that are supposed to show up and just win and get it done, and they F up, and they screw up, and the Rams lost to the Arizona Cardinals. The Cowboys have lost. I guess they're our bad team. That's not a good example. But Jacksonville, his team did not get cute. They didn't get fancy. There was not a lot of fancy. They handled their business. Jacksonville did not need to reinvent the football against...
Baltimore operating with a make-a-wish candidate at quarterback, the emergency quarterback. They showed up, and they punched the clock. They had their lunchbox, and they collected the win. And upward and onward, you're into the win column. Here's Trevor Lawrence, the Jacksonville quarterback. It was okay. He wasn't amazing. But here's Trevor Lawrence, and he's about to put some knee pads on for his head coach. He's great. I mean, he's relentless the way he prepares, just the way he thinks. I think he's a great leader for our team. Guys respond really well to how he leads. He's got a lot of energy, a lot of enthusiasm, brings the juice every day.
Brings the juice. What kind of, is it orange juice, grape juice, cranberry juice? Apple juice. Apple juice. Okay, there you go. Brings the apple juice. That's outstanding. There you go. So, again, my mantra is you don't get extra credit for doing what you're supposed to do, but the pigskin gods ordered some Sprinkles cupcakes on Uber Eats. Femi, the Uber Eats driver, he actually drove all the way from Minnesota to Baltimore to deliver the Sprinkles cupcakes, and the Jaguars had the good sense to not play with the cupcakes. They didn't futz around with the frosting. They didn't choke on anything, and that's it. You don't have to overcomplicate things against an overmatched opponent.
The Ravens were shorthanded playing without a real quarterback. So Jacksonville, they didn't win the beauty pageant. They passed the quarterly performance review is what they did. Now, last word. We now go to the broadcast itself on the Amazon. So Jacksonville came in. There was not a lot of, to use the word Trevor Lawrence, just use juice. There was not a lot of excitement for this game. This was not a sexy matchup. Jacksonville's the London team. They're more of a London team than an American team. And Baltimore has their fan base, but they don't have a quarterback. So Jacksonville was a 10-point road favorite.
Very rare that you will see a 10-point road favorite in the NFL. And they went out and they manhandled the Ravens, as we've talked about here, as anticipated. The question, how did Al Michaels and company handle the blowout game over there on Amazon? So they emptied the cannons, is what they did. Now, I kept the game on, because there's really nothing else to watch. So I had the game on, and I was as engaged as I had been. No, but I had the game on. I had the audio on. And that's a tribute to Al Michaels. That when Doris Burke's doing a game, I hit the mute button. I don't listen. But when Al Michaels does a game, I want to hear what he has to say. I want to hear what he has to say. So I kept the TV on. By the fourth quarter,
The ammunition was, the ammunition depot was bone dry, even though it was raining. There was no artillery remaining. Al Michaels at Kirk Herbstreet and that production crew had gone from NFL broadcasting to the spam special. You had the mystery meat off to the right. You had some reheated leftovers off to the left and whatever else you could scrape out of the back of the refrigerator that didn't have mold on it. They were even going to the freezer and they were taking some bag of potato, like some fries they had in the freezer and they had freezer burn and they were going to cook that as well. That's how bad it was. And so they had started the night.
As the three Musketeers trying to turn. Joe Fagnano into the great Cinderella, as we talked about the Cinderella story. Of course, that only worked for about a quarter and a half. And then by the fourth quarter, by the fourth quarter, they were rummaging through the NFL attic. And Al Michaels told a Tom Coughlin car dealership story about how he ended up coaching Jacksonville when he was in Boston College and this whole thing about caller ID. And Tom Coughlin thought the person calling was I was talking about a Jaguar car, not a football team because that was an expansion team and whatnot. And then.
They even discussed the Duluth Eskimos, which I believe I saw a photo, and it looked like Curmudgeon Wayne was playing for the Duluth Eskimos, the guy that hides behind his social media account there. But they were so excited about a helmetless Duluth Eskimo. which was like an early NFL team before the NFL went corporate and all that years ago. They also spent a lot of time explaining how Joe Fagnano brought his playbook on his honeymoon. They made sure to show his bride on TV quite a bit. I don't know if that counts as the honey shot. I mean, she's all right, but I don't think that was the honey shot. Al Michaels was essentially communicating with the ghost of football past. Good old Al there because the football president had flatlined. They were conducting a three-hour filibuster is what they were doing. And much like in D.C., the filibuster.
At that point, the only thing missing, they didn't discuss UFOs landing. That would have been really cool if some goblins had landed at the 45-yard line right at midfield there and then abducted Kirk Herbstreet. Wouldn't that have been great? That would have been our lead, by the way. I'd like to let you know that would have been our lead. If the aliens had come down, the lizard people, and they had abducted Kirk Herbstreet and his dog Peter, that would have been the story that we started with. But we didn't start with that because it didn't happen. And I think next Thursday, if there's another bad game, Amazon will be providing exclusive footage of Kirk Herbstreet's third-grade spelling bee.
which is going to be very exciting for those people that watch the entire game. But Jacksonville is set up. They are sitting pretty right now as they are racking up wins. One, two, three, four, five, six. Who do we appreciate? Six wins, two losses. They got Cupcake City up ahead. They got Tennessee, a mid-level Giants team, and you've got the Titans again. So you're looking at getting at the very minimum to eight wins after week 12, most likely nine. The Giants, I know that game's in Jersey. The Giants aren't great. They're okay. They're amazing. Oh, J.J. McCarthy's God's gift to football. Okay, we'll see about that.
Let's see about that, wise guy. It is the Ben Maler Show. If you would like to be part, you can join us right now at 877-99 on Fox. The line's opening up here. 877-996-6369 if you want to be part of the live radio program. If you want to hide out on the X machine and join the gaggle of stars like Fargo Peen and Mark from Queens and Eke and Roseville, Minnesota, the Ostrich Hand, all these legends, all these legends. Well, you can do that, and they're very easy to do, very easy to do, on X at Ben Maler.
That is at Ben Maller. If you'd like to be part of the program, you can join the fun and yap with us. We'll take your calls, comments, and Benny versus the Penny in hour two. We'll do the monologue, and then we'll have picks for all of the key games, all eight of the key games. That'll be coming up in hour number two, and then we'll get back to the calls. We have lame jokes of the week coming up later, so it's a jam-packed Friday fun day. It's a Friday fun day is what it is. Now straight ahead.
A humdinger. I love stories like this. So it turns out our beloved professional football players are having a tough time becoming conquistadors. It's not easy becoming a conquistador. What is that about? We'll get to it and we will do it next. Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller Show weekdays at 2 a.m. Eastern, 11 p.m. Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
Welcome to Football Doesn't Lie. Hi, I'm Bill Parcells. And I'm Catherine Zatzora. I have a lot of experience in the game of football, Catherine. And I'm learning the game with Bill's help. Every week, we're going to talk about the NFL slate through the lens of Bill's expertise as he coaches me from novice fan to football expert over the course of the season. You know, I'm looking forward to this show, Catherine, and hopefully we can give our audience a little in-depth look into the inner sanctum of pro football that they can't get anywhere else. Tune in every Thursday for unfiltered stories from Coach Parcells, analysis on the state of the modern game, and education on how football really works. Continuity is very important, but what happens...
When you get good coaches on your staff and people begin to recognize them, then they want to hire them. And then you can't stop a guy from trying to improve himself, but you have to replace them. Because once you understand what's going on inside the mind of the coaches, you'll understand more about the whole game. So all aspects can be discussed. The only thing I haven't done, because I didn't have enough money, I don't own the team. I never owned a team. Listen to Football Doesn't Lie on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Oh, group shot. I'll take it. No, we're good. There's one in every group. The Notographer. Best intentions. Worst shots. But there's hope. The Samsung Galaxy S26 Ultra on Bell. Super steady videos and perfectly framed shots with my FamCam. And Nitography for stellar pics even in low light. I want that. Yep, post-worthy with just a click. All on Bell. Canada's fastest 5G plus network. Visit a Bell store or bell.ca slash Samsung for details. Bell. Connection is everything. The Ben Maller Show on Fox Sports Radio as we continue on and on and on and on further and further into the night. We are at the steering wheel. And hang out with us.
Got nothing else going on. Just relax. Enjoy. Talking about the Thursday night NFL game. Jacksonville. Are they going to be the top seed in the AFC? Inquiring minds would like to know. They certainly have the type of schedule. A lot of tomato cans. A lot of tomato cans. Suck bag division. Suck bag division. Very important. If you'd like to be part, 877-99 on Fox. That's 877-996-6369.
On the X machine, at Ben Maller. That's at Ben Maller, M-A-L-L-E-R. If you don't know how to spell Ben, you're stupid. Are you sure it's not O-R at the end? Like I said, if you don't know how to spell Ben or Maller, you should spell Maller the way I said it, but Ben, you should know how to spell. Lorena is here using her pretty girl privilege. You can sail over her FSR tech queen. What a good night. Yeah, and Koobaloop at a Bronco fan. That's a Bronco fan. Your comments can and will be used against you in the court of sports radio, the Maller militia, so please act accordingly.
Thank you. By the way, the NFL back already here. NFL Week 9 is upon us. The Packers versus the Patriots is Sunday's America's Game of the Week. Streaming live on Fox 1. You miss it live and you're just watching a highlight. Catch every play as it happens. Packers, Patriots live on Fox 1. Lorraine was almost late for work here, but she was able to make it. She had an incident. She had a run-in with law enforcement. And she was able to survive.
She got some cherry tops. Pull over and put your hands on the steering wheel. That's right. Yes, yes. So what highway were you on there? Were you on the 134? Were you on the 101? Were you on the 210? I was on the road right here. Oh, right in your work? Yeah, the 134. I was right next to Woodman. I was almost here. I was five minutes away. It's a highway that goes right through the San Fernando Valley right there. It cuts through North Hollywood. It goes from the 210 into whatever it is over here. Yeah, and then you cross the 405. You get into Encino. The 405 goes south. Woodman Hills.
Well, no, I'm saying the crosses, the 134 crosses. I think that becomes the 101, though, right? At that point, it's the 101. At that point, it's the 101. Yeah. There'll be a quiz on this later. Anyway, she got pulled over. She's lived here forever. She has no idea what the freeway numbers are. It's a bad job. I just go the way I need to go. Well, I understand, but there's numbers on them. Anyway, so you got pulled over, and shockingly, an attractive woman does not get a ticket. That never happens. I got to tell you, this is very rare. It is very rare that an attractive person will not get a ticket, right? I mean, it almost always works out. And you were going to face multiple tickets, right? Yeah, it definitely would have been multiple.
All right. Did you panic? Did you know where your insurance thing was? Was it on your phone? Well, since I haven't put my stickers on my car yet, I knew exactly where my stickers in my car were, which had my registration. Oh, okay. And then I always keep my insurance cards exactly where those go. When they pulled you over, did they say, do you know how fast you were going? Did they tell you that? No, he walked up and said you were going 83. Why were you going so fast? Wow, 83. Now, you know my position, Lorraine. I got told by a cop years ago that if you go 79 and under, so many people drive 80 and above.
If you go 79 and under, you won't get a ticket, which is true in California. However, a cop in Minnesota gave me a ticket when I was driving 79, and he looked like he was about 15 years old. So they're hiring young cops here in Minneapolis. But yeah, he gave me a ticket. But in California, I've pretty much been able to go 79. Yeah, and you drive a lot. So do I. Yeah, I live far from the studio and all that. My biggest concern was my license, though, because it just expired on my birthday. And you have to get that taken care of. Does that mean you have to travel somewhere far away, Lorraine, to get that taken care of? Yes, and luckily I'm going up there very soon for Thanksgiving.
Oh, you are? Yes. Okay. All the affiliates in Ellen will be on the Oregon Trail for Thanksgiving. Hi. Will you be hanging out with Mark, the full name guy, or will you have a meet and greet in Oregon? Probably not. Oh, that's an idea. It is an idea. Not a great idea. I don't think I have a lot of time for that.
Yeah, it is difficult. For me, it's always the logistics. Like, I'm going to be in the Midwest soon in Chicago and in Wisconsin, but I don't know that I'll have time to set anything up. Somebody has to step up. So far, no one's stepped up, so I don't think I'll do anything. If somebody steps up, I'll probably spend a little bit of time doing that. Anyway, what do we got here? Page down. Late Night Drug Tester says, instead of talking about the Jags, London's team, you could have previewed the CFL Conference Finals. Go Blue Bombers.
Yeah, so the other night when the NBA decided not to play games because their fans are idiots and don't know that you can watch a basketball game and vote, they're morons, but hockey realizes their fans are able to actually watch hockey and vote, so it's shocking. Anyway, I watched some hockey, and I did see, I was watching one of the feeds on the Magic Box there. We had the Winnipeg Jets were playing, and they were playing the Montreal Canadiens, that crazy game, the greatest comeback in history, and they had a preview of the game, which is coming up on Saturday here, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. The road team taking on the Montreal Alouettes in a massive CFL game. And Montreal is, I believe, favorite in that game. Winnipeg just a 500 team this year. You know, I know my CFL. You might not think I know my CFL, but Montreal was a juggernaut. The Argos, or not the Argos, the Alouettes, excuse me. I screwed that up. The Argos are Toronto. But the Alouettes, 14 and 4. They play 18. They're real men in Canada. They play 18 games there. They don't flutz around with 17 games like we do in America. They're hearty people in Canada, and they can play 18 games. So that's the way it goes. What else do we have? Let's see. Page down.
Fergdog says, do you think this will be the last we'll see Fignano on the field? I'd hate to see such a promising career come to an end. So quickly. Yeah, it was really fun to watch. I was texting a couple of my buddies during the game. I was like, boy, Al Michaels and Herbie are really landing on. They're making this guy seem like he is the second coming of this great Kurt Warner or Tom Brady or somebody like that. I was like, well, what are they doing? It's pretty crazy. Pretty, pretty, pretty crazy. My goodness.
All right. What else do we have? Let's see. Page down. Mark from Queens enjoyed the opening monologue. Fargo Pete.
Checking in. He says, Ben, first Tampa, Milwaukee, now Chicago, Jacksonville, the Midwest, Florida connection has all the momentum with a side of ranch. Time to start studying your Bears and Jags rosters. Calm down, Mr. Chamber of Commerce of the Midwest. Everything's okay. You don't need to go crazy here. Shame on you. Let's see. Should we take a phone call? I say I got to click this thing here. Hold on a second. I got to click this. And then this thing pops up. And then that's got to load. Next hour, we have Benny versus the Penny. We'll have the monologue at the top. And then we'll have Benny versus the Penny.
in the B block, and all the way through. All the way through. We are excited about that. All right, now the thing is working. I've got to click the doohickey here. Hold on a second. Double-click the doohickey, Ben. I'm going to click the doohickey. Hold on a second. This thing's a little slow here. I don't know why it's been acting up. I might have some kind of Trojan horse virus or something in this thing. So I click on this. There's a little thing swirling around, round and round and round and round and round. All right, let's go to the phones. Let's say hello to Monica, who's in New York. Hello, Monica. Welcome. You're on the Ben Maller Show on Fox. Hello. Hello, Monica. I would like to talk about you, Don.
Oh, this is a call. You're being forced to make this call, Monica, by eDog. Is that accurate? No. Oh, come on. Come on, Monica. You wouldn't be calling me if it wasn't for eDog. Come on. All right. What's going on? What's going on? He's amazing. He's cool. He's cool.
He's nice. Yeah? Are you sure about that? Yeah. Is he right next to you, by chance? No. He is not next to you. No. What's that, Koopa Loop? Koopa would like to add something. I don't even have words. No, I mean, Monica, she called. Monica, what's going on with you here? It's the middle of the night. What are you doing? You should be sleeping right now. What are you calling me for? I know.
Well, I'm disabled right now. I'm not tired. Yeah, you're not tired. I'm going to ask this question. I'm a little concerned about the answer. So E-Dog, for those that are new to the show, E-Dog's one of our regular callers. E-Dog's been calling me for a million years, and he used to have his buddy Joe Dog. Do you know Joe Dog by chance, Monica? No. You don't know Joe Dog. Oh, my God. I don't know how good a friend you are of E-Dog if you don't know Joe Dog, because Joe Dog used to be a caller to the show also. And how long have you known E-Dog?
Since the summer. Okay, so it's a short-term thing. Long time, Ben. Long time. That's two months. That's a few months. That's all right. And so you met him a few months ago, and this is the question I'm afraid to ask. Where did you meet E-Dog? When I met him, I met him at a program. A program. Okay, so I thought that would be the case. I thought that would be the case. All right, well, very nice. And so you just called up, and you're really advocating for the kindness of E-Dog. You wanted us to know that you're a legitimate person, and he's legitimate, and that's great. Are you guys dating?
Oh, no. You're not dating. Okay, you're not an item. I understand. Is he on the line right now with the phone on mute? No. Will he be paying you in cash or direct to patent? No, no. He will not be paying you. Okay, there will be no money in exchange for this compliment. I got to tell you, I'm impressed that you made this phone call because back when I was a single guy and I couldn't get women to do anything to advocate for me, but you calling up Monica, a radio show, right now and advocating for E-Dog, that's great. Now, does he smell? Does he smell okay? Does he have like a foul odor to him? What's going on with that? He smells okay. He smells not great though, right? He could smell better.
Yes. Yes. Okay. We agree on that. I got you. I got you. All right. Well, listen, Monica, you have called up to advocate for e-dog. Thank you so much. Anything you want to add here? We're going to move on. Anything you want to add? No. All right. Well, thank you. Have a great night. Thank you. All right. There she goes. Monica from New York. They're advocating totally randomly for e-dog. Totally randomly for e-dog. Now, let's go to Alan in Toronto, who's up next. Hello, Alan. Welcome. You're on the Ben Maller Show on Fox. What's up, Alan?
The third-string quarterback, Joe Pignano. Now, if he gets hurt, then I go in. If I get hurt, then you go in. So they're in a pretty bad situation in the quarterback situation, aren't they? What are you talking about? Are you talking about the Ravens? The Ravens, yeah. Yeah, well, that's not his name, actually. You can't say his name properly or else we're going to get in trouble.
It's the problem. It's his name. And I had to learn how to say it because it's a weird name. It doesn't look like it sounds. It's Fagnano. Oh, Fagnano, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What you said is much different. What you said is much, much different than that, Alan. That's something totally different. But I understand. And listen, the Ravens are four and five. They're not mediocre. The division is not great, right? You look around that division. Is there a really good team in their division? I would say no. Do you disagree, Alan?
Yes, it's hard to say. No, it's not. We're in week nine. It's halfway through the NFL season at this particular point. Pittsburgh is 6-2. Do you think they're legit? I don't think they're legit. The Steelers are 6-2, and they don't seem like they're going to beat anybody good down the line. The Bengals are 5-2. I don't get a – I mean, these teams have good records. I don't think they're good teams. Is that odd? Is that an odd take? No, you're right. You're right, Bengals. Oh, thank you. Look at that, Al. I'm right.
I'd like to talk about next, last Sunday, in Tampa Bay, Baker Mayfield attempted three passes and didn't complete any of them, 0-3. And that's the first time since September 29th, 1974, that a team won a game without completing a pass. Buffalo didn't have a game to get in a 16-12 victory. You know what that is, Alan? That's a group project where you don't do any of the work and you get credit. Baker Mayfield, he didn't do any of the work, but he got credit for the win. But they had 324 yards on the ground, which is great. You know, Bucky Irving had 170 yards rushing.
No, it was good. It was good. All right. All right. I got to go, but thanks. As much as I would like to recap that Bucs game from last week, I must move on. Thank you. It is the Bain Maller Show. We'll push back the conquistador story. Time now, though, for the Who Am I game. And this is where I pretend to be somebody else as we call it the Who Am I game. Ravens rookie quarterback Joe Fagnano, not what Alan just said. Joe Fagnano became just the second quarterback since at least 1950 to finish his college career at UConn and start an NFL game. I was the...
only other quarterback to play for the Huskies at the end of my college career and start an NFL game. Who am I? That is the question. The answer. We'll get to it and we will do it.
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Later on today, in addition to Benny versus the Penny, you'll have the fifth-hour podcast will return, so you have something to listen to when those boring daytime shows are on. So check out that fifth-hour podcast later today. And I don't know if you know about this, but NFL Week 9 is here. The Packers versus the Patriots. Sunday's America's Game of the Week streaming live on Fox 1. Miss it live, and you're just watching a highlight catch every play as it happens. Packers, Patriots live on Fox 1.
All right, back to it. Let's play off this conquistador story. So it's not easy being a conquistador. This weekend, the Bengals and the Falcons will play in Spain. A little NFL action there. And it'll be an early game on Sunday. And the issue here is the locker room. The locker rooms. They spent a billion dollars. Actually, over a billion dollars.
on a redone locker room, yet the locker room, the photographs that are making their way around the interweb, the locker rooms are not up to snuff with the modern palaces, the country clubs that these spoiled NFL players are used to at facilities around the NFL. They look very modest in comparison. Real Madrid is the stadium they're playing is Real Madrid's home stadium, and so you'd think, well, these are some of the biggest names in soccer, or they call it football play there, but the accommodations, not all that great. There's college football programs like Texas A&M and... And others, a bunch of big Ohio State that have facilities that make this look completely outdated. And they had to expand the locker room area. They had to add more showers and other modifications to accommodate the NFL. But even with that, they're saying that this is like slumming. Our poor NFL stars having to deal with substandard lockers.
What a shame. All right, here is the payoff on the Who Am I game. Ravens rookie quarterback Joe Fagnano became just the second quarterback since at least 1950 to finish his college career at UConn and start an NFL game. I was the other quarterback to do it. Who am I? Jake Locker guessed by Larry from Nashville. E-Dog, the lady killer from Ferg Dog. Who else do we have? Gino Ariema, that's Mark from Queens. Ronald Reagan from Femi. Chandler Parsons guessed by Alf, the alien O'Piner. And Will T got it right. Bad job by him. Monica and E-Dog from Robbie, the Mariner fan. Bob from Glen Allen, Virginia got it right. Who else do we have? Page Town.
Do you have an answer, Lorena? I was going to go with Monica Lewinsky. It's a fine answer. Unfortunately, it is Dan Orlovsky who was 2-10 as an NFL quarterback out of UConn. Dan Orlovsky, the answer. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.