How an Abuser Refusing to Make Decisions Becomes a Form of Control episode artwork

EPISODE · Jul 21, 2026 · 12 MIN

How an Abuser Refusing to Make Decisions Becomes a Form of Control

from Narcissist Apocalypse: Patterns of Abuse · host Abuse Survivor Network

In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon discusses how an abusive person can maintain control while appearing to let their partner make every decision. They refuse to participate, leave the planning and responsibility to someone else, and then criticize, blame, sulk, or become angry once a choice has been made. Brandon explains how this creates a no-win situation where the victim must constantly predict what the abuser wants, despite never being told what that is. Over time, the victim may take on the invisible labor of running the household, managing the finances, and preventing problems, while the abuser remains outside the process until there is something to criticize. The episode also explores how this pattern creates plausible deniability, keeps the victim focused on avoiding negative reactions, and slowly damages their confidence in their own judgment. What appears to be freedom can become a system of control built around blame, moving goalposts, and the fear of making the wrong choice. If you are in search of therapy from professionals dedicated to dealing with TRAUMA - Narcissist Apocalypse recommends REBOUND THERAPY and they can be reached at  hellorebound.com/na Click if you want to be a guest on our survivor story podcast, please send us an email at [email protected] Click on the title to read about Coercive Control as Care: Signs & Patterns Sign up to our Domestic Violence Newsletter  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Episode metadata supplied by the publisher feed · Published Jul 21, 2026

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In this episode of Narcissist Apocalypse, Brandon discusses how an abusive person can maintain control while appearing to let their partner make every decision. They refuse to participate, leave the planning and responsibility to someone else, and then criticize, blame, sulk, or become angry once a choice has been made. Brandon explains how this creates a no-win situation where the victim must constantly predict what the abuser wants, despite never being told what that is. Over time, the victim may take on the invisible labor of running the household, managing the finances, and preventing problems, while the abuser remains outside the process until there is something to criticize. The episode also explores how this pattern creates plausible deniability, keeps the victim focused on avoiding negative reactions, and slowly damages their confidence in their own judgment. What appears to be freedom can become a system of control built around blame, moving goalposts, and the fear of making the wrong choice.

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How an Abuser Refusing to Make Decisions Becomes a Form of Control

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This episode is 12 minutes long.

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This episode was published on July 21, 2026.

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