EPISODE · Aug 11, 2025 · 27 MIN
Your Partner Can Tell When You're Pretending. Here's Why That Matters for Your Sex Life.
from Pleasure Uprising: Desire, Attachment, and the Sex You Actually Want · host Laura Jurgens, Ph.D.
You can say "I'm fine" and mean it completely. Your partner will still know something's off. They won't know what exactly. Their brains will fill in the "what" with the worse case thing. Research on communication tells us that 87% of what people understand from us has nothing to do with our actual words — it's tone, body language, micro-expressions. And when those two things conflict, people believe the body. Every time.This episode is about what that means for intimacy, trust, and your sex life specifically. Because you can't perform your way into real connection. And if you've spent years running on "should" — performing what you think you're supposed to want instead of knowing what you actually want — your body is communicating that too. The foundation of a genuinely satisfying sex life isn't technique. It's knowing yourself well enough to be honest. This episode walks through why, and what gets in the way, so you can start leaving that behind you. Get my free guide: Get Out of Your Head: A Starter Guide to Releasing the Pressure, Shame, and "Shoulds" Around Intimacy at https://laurajurgens.com/guideMore links: Substack at https://laurajurgens.substack.com/Pleasure Path Diagnostic here: https://laurajurgens.com/diagnostic/About me, testimonials, blog, bookings: https://laurajurgens.com/Wheel of Erotic emotions, go to: https://laurajurgens.com/wheelCopyright notice: All content in this podcast is copyrighted and copying, scraping, data mining, or using the content to train AI is prohibited.
What this episode covers
You can say "I'm fine" and mean it completely. Your partner will still know something's off. They won't know what exactly. Their brains will fill in the "what" with the worse case thing. Research on communication tells us that 87% of what people understand from us has nothing to do with our actual words — it's tone, body language, micro-expressions. And when those two things conflict, people believe the body. Every time. This episode is about what that means for intimacy, trust, a...
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Your Partner Can Tell When You're Pretending. Here's Why That Matters for Your Sex Life.
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