How Bryan recovered from insomnia by putting less effort into sleep and more effort into living his life (#61)

When Bryan got sick he experienced an entire night of no sleep for the first time in his life. He didn't sleep the next night, either. When his sleep didn't get back on track, Bryan started to believe that he had lost the ability to sleep and that belief generated a lot of anxiety. As sleep consumed more and more of his energy and attention, Bryan started to withdraw from life. His relationships suffered as sleep became the center of his universe. Bryan found that the more he tried to make sleep happen, the more difficult sleep became, the more anxiety he experienced, the more likely he was to engage in actions that didn't reflect who he was or who he wanted to be, and the more difficult everything became. And yet, as a driven problem-solver, he continued to try. Things began to change for Bryan when he accidentally fell asleep. When he fell asleep even though he didn't do anything to make sleep happen. There was no trying. No effort. No rules. No rituals. No medication. No supplements. Bryan realized that he hadn't lost the ability to sleep after all — and that he didn't need to do anything to make sleep happen. This insight didn't get rid of Bryan's struggles overnight but it prompted him to change his approach. He started acting in ways that served him and the life he wanted to live, rather than sleep. When difficult nights showed up, he would remind himself of the better nights (and how they required no effort or intervention). Then, he would refocus his attention on what he could control by doing things that mattered to him — actions that kept him moving toward the life he wanted to live, independently of sleep. With this approach, sleep started to lose the power and influence it once had over his life. In Bryan's own words, as he started getting his life back to normal, his sleep started getting back to normal, too.