"How Can I Get My Spouse to Couples Therapy?" (Marriage Unhindered)

Trying to get your husband and wife to go to therapy but finding that their resistant? Don't give up!   🎙️ In this episode of Marriage Unhindered, Doug Hinderer shares Gottman-inspired tips to gently guide a reluctant spouse into couples therapy. Here’s what you can take to heart and pray about:   Step 1: Connect Emotionally Before Bringing Up Therapy   Instead of dropping “we need therapy!” like a bomb, start by showing appreciation, having some fun, and creating a warm atmosphere. Maybe plan a cozy night in with a comedy movie or a little adventure like mini-golf! 🏌️ When your spouse feels valued and relaxed, they’re more likely to be open to a serious chat later on.   Step 2: Propose the Conversation Gently   When it’s time to bring it up, frame it around your dreams for the relationship, not just the problems. Try saying something like, “Hey, I’d love to chat about what we both want for our marriage. Is now a good time?” Make it about the relationship, not “fixing” your spouse.   Step 3: Find the Gap   Once you’re talking, ask about what they’d like in an ideal marriage. Get curious, listen closely, and don’t jump into defense mode if they voice complaints. Instead, go deeper to understand their underlying needs (a.k.a. the hidden gems of relationship insight! 💎).   Step 4: Bridge the Chasm, Not the Partner   Emphasize that therapy isn’t about “fixing” them; it’s about building a better “us.” Make it clear: a therapist isn’t taking sides: they’re there to help both of you make the relationship stronger. Show them how therapy could help create a happier, healthier bond.   Step 5: Invite, Don’t Demand   When you do the final “ask,” make it an invitation, not an ultimatum. Explain that you’d love them to come along but respect their choice if they’re not ready. No pressure, no hard feelings. A gentle approach here can make all the difference!   🎉 Key Takeaways:   Therapy as a Preventative Tool: Just like physical health checkups, Doug reminds you that therapy doesn’t need to be a “last resort.” It’s a valuable tune-up for keeping love alive and well.   Patience Pays Off: Sometimes, letting them sit with the idea for a few days can shift their stance.   Doug’s wisdom? Keep it calm, caring, and curiosity led. Remember, a little patience and a lot of love go a long way.   We're always praying for you and your spouse and you can always reach out to Relevant Radio with a prayer request for your marriage.