EPISODE · Jan 30, 2025 · 23 MIN
How Can I Stop Comparing Myself
Tactical "stop it" approaches to self-comparison DO NOT WORK for perfectionists. Find out WHY along with the hidden costs of comparing yourself, why the approach you’ve taken to stopping self-comparison hasn't worked, what you actually need to do and scientifically what causes perfectionists to have an even harder time than non-perfectionistic people in rewiring this habit. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire TIMESTAMPS:00:00-Why self comparison tactics fail perfectionists01:41-The hidden costs of comparing yourself06:31-Recognize self comparison as a type of self punishment.10:11-Why intellect isn't enough to rewire perfectionist tendencies12:13-Developing skill sets over gathering knowledge15:00-Why it's scientifically harder for perfectionists to stop unhealthy self-comparison16:08-Acceptance vs. judgment in rewiring perfectionism18:00-What Silver vs. bronze medalists show us about comparing yourself to others21:30-Choosing growth over fear of failure Resources Mentioned In Episode 246:Perfect Start Introductory Session Single Coaching SessionComparing Yourself (pt.1) Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 245Discovering Your Hidden Motivators Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 80Intrinsic Motivational Patterns Perfectionism Rewired Ep. 66 Citations/Sources:Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000138 Sirois, F.M., Monforton, J. and Simpson, M. (2010) "If Only I Had Done Better": Perfectionism and the Functionality of Counterfactual Thinking. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , 36 (12). 1675 - 1692. ISSN 0146-1672 https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167210387614Stoeber, J., & Diedenhofen, B. (2017). Multidimensional perfectionism and counterfactual thinking: Some think upward, others downward. Personality and Individual Differences, 119, 118–121. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.009 Perfectionism Rewired is committed to truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, interoception + neuroscience, for the practical perfectionist who wants to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to create.
What this episode covers
Tactical "stop it" approaches to self-comparison DO NOT WORK for perfectionists. Find out WHY along with the hidden costs of comparing yourself, why the approach you’ve taken to stopping self-comparison hasn't worked, what you actually need to do and scientifically what causes perfectionists to have an even harder time than non-perfectionistic people in rewiring this habit. On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, stop playing out worst case scenarios in your head or becoming JOYFULLY PRESENT AMBITIOUS again, Perfectionism Optimized, private 1-1 coaching gives you the life-long skills to *finally feel* as amazing on the inside as your life looks on the outside. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/rewire
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How Can I Stop Comparing Myself
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