How do I really say goodbye? This is the daily de-service podcast with Anthony Fungini-Man. So how? Straight to the point.
You're all too eager. Number one, let it be known. Going public increases one's intentionality and the chances of it actually happening. Or if not public at least to people, you're accountable too.
So you find people announcing, for example, the resignation from a political party, right? Or calling on a few dear friends or a four-way call to end a romantic relationship. If you've decided to leave, offer your house on the open market, it builds conviction. Here we go again and strengthens finality.
And oh, if you will let it be known, please let it be the truth. You don't have to detail all the facts and the feelings within. But nothing is worse than being lied to about a parting of ways. Let me clarify when it comes to letting it be known.
If your life is in danger, please don't announce it publicly. You don't have to say goodbye to the other party. Just go. If your mental health is severely threatened, ghosting, right?
That term of just leaving without saying goodbye is actually not a bad option. Just go. Information can be given, you know, on a need to know basis tomorrow. For now, stay alive.
Survive. How to take it by number two. Embrace the pros and the cons. You will be free, but your bills will be higher.
That's the con. When you part ways. You will cry your heart out, but you will have no more guilt. See the balance?
You will miss your colleagues, but you stop a cycle of abuse under your current boss. And be mindful the pros and cons will extend beyond you. If there is any way you can prepare or soften the blow for the other party or those caught in the middle in the crossfire, do it. When all is said and done, sleep soundly knowing the benefits outweigh the consequences, but you will have both.
As someone once said, it's not the goodbye that hurts. It's the flashbacks that follow. Number three. How terminate but don't eliminate.
Thou shall not commit murder. And unless God shuts the door completely, be open, right, to a future possibility. I know this couple who separated. And ten years after the separation, they were still unmarried.
And the thought came up, right? Why don't you come back? The guy was open. The woman.
No way. She couldn't imagine sleeping with the guy again. No way. You know what she prayed about?
It taught some counsel. Eventually, she gave in. She decided. And when she testified, she shared how she couldn't bear to see his face, you know, beside her in the morning.
For the first two weeks, but on the 15th day when she woke up, she was in love again. After obeying the restoration of the feeling. Terminate but don't eliminate. Number four.
Get creative. How? I recall. Before the age of communication apps online, okay?
Every time I would leave for a couple of weeks abroad, right, for a business trip or a study trip. I video-record myself several times, several videos, give it to my cell so that you could play it every other day while I was away. Just to assure the kids that when I said goodbye, I didn't say goodbye forever. See the goodbye with packed bags wasn't a farewell forever message.
Get creative. Establishing a lingering presence. Write a time-release, you know, set of messages in partnership with a family member who will say, give an indication of return dates for assurance. And why not plan a post-trip, you know, activity with your loved ones so they can look forward to something after your return?
Get creative with the way you say, goodbye. And finally, how to say goodbye? Number five. On time.
Timing is everything. Wait a few days, please, if you still can, before saying goodbye to someone really close who has just experienced a major crisis. On the other hand, drop all to say goodbye to a loved one who may go any time. No room for regret.
None of that I should have gone earlier. So how to say goodbye? Number one, let it be known. L.
Number two, embrace the pros and cons. E. Number three, terminate but don't eliminate T. Number four, get creative.
G. And number five, on time. O. L-E-T-G-O.
How to say goodbye? Just let go. Was it Dr. Seuss who said don't cry because it's over a smile because it happened?
Cut your blessings, my friend. Shell Silverstein reinforces this thought. It will end, she said, and sadly, just give me a happy middle and a very happy start. And for those, guys, we should be thankful.