How Do You Know If You Are Loving (aka Accountable)? Ep. 23

"Spend so much time trying to be right that I was dead wrong." India.Arie said it. Today's episode unpacks it. Accountability is the only true love, and most of us have been doing it wrong. We're breaking down what it is, what it's not, why you can't demand it from someone else, and the 10 questions that will tell you if YOU are bringing it to your dating life. Plus Dr. Jennifer Freyd's DARVO research and a whole lot of mirror work. Research Citations:  Freyd, J.J. (1997, ongoing). DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) framework. University of Oregon. dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/darvo.html Rhodewalt, F. & Morf, C.C. (1995, 1998). Narcissism and self-regulation research. Multiple publications including Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.  Malkin, C. Rethinking Narcissism. HarperWave (2015). On the emotional hot potato dynamic in narcissistic personality.  General literature on narcissistic personality disorder, blame externalization, and accountability deficits across DSM-5 and Cambridge Journal of Personality literature. Song Featured:  "Wings of Forgiveness" by India.Arie (Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship, Motown Records, 2006). Written by India.Arie Simpson, Phillip White, Jared Gosselin, and Eric Jackson. Past Episodes Referenced:  Episode 22: "10 Cringy Behaviors That Are Sabotaging Your Love Life" - the companion episode that set up today's accountability deep dive. Links:  Apply for The Grown & Liberated Love Club: candiceharperlovecoach.com/grown-liberated-love  Hack the Dating Apps ($27): https://candiceharperloveclub.com/hack-the-dating-apps2 Hashtags: #accountabilityislove #darvo #grownandliberatedlove #divineequalmatch #wingsofforgiveness #indiaarie #datingcoach #relationshipcoach #blackwomeninlove #blacklove #lovecoach #podcast