How does conditioning change? Follow up to 28 Sept podcast

Email 1thank you so for talking about my email i do get it clare but it's so hard for me to understand my conditioning when everyone else's conditioning is like the same i no it's not the same but they seem to be able to be a part of gatherings and parties and me i just want to run awayi don't even know how i got this programme in me because my family are Irish and growing up we always had massive gatherings and i always would be hiding somewhere mostly under a table .i did read a school report last night and in the report i was 8 years old it said she has lots of friends but she is very much a loner. she will choose to be by herself my parents were very sociable and loved to play Irish music and have a Hooley and sing song well So it's just so hard for me not be like them and join in and have the crack i would stay if i could lay down underneath the table and just listen  but thank you yer big stuff ❤️Email 2 hi lovely it's not the conditioning that needs to be dropped is it it's the mind telling stories like you're gonna faint, everyone is gonna see you on the floor i'm going to lose my vision my heart is beating so fast i'm sweating and my body needs to go that's what my mind is saying i no i have to have it all. I'm going to a 60th birthday tonight and of course I don't want to go it's crazy why does all this come at once