How does my woman's past, including past lovers, affect me?

A man asks Barry how a woman’s past — the energies of her past lovers, her mother and father, and so on — affect him. Barry says that her past is all that has accumulated in her — past lovers, mother, father, the life she has lived – and there is pain and emotion attached. The man’s job is to take that world out of her – the penis, “a loving penis,” is made to take the world out of a woman.Barry adds that a woman shouldn’t have any world in her; her fundamental state is pure love, and the world has been put into her through hurt and disappointments. Fear can tighten her vagina, and the man must gently approach her with a demonstration of love, without impatience, so she opens to him slowly.The man adds he was naïve, took more than he could handle, and became more vulnerable to sex. Barry acknowledges this and says the greater the love in a man—through having practised love—the more he can handle, because love dissolves what is taken in. If love is not there sufficiently, there can be transference.The one cure, Barry says, is love: the more love in a man, the more empty and absent he becomes, and the spiritual life is to become more and more absent.~This dialogue is drawn from the 8th Leicester Talk, originally recorded in 1996. These and many other never-before-published recordings have been meticulously digitised only recently and are now available for listening in high quality. The complete 1996 LEICESTER series can be heard in two ways: through The Barry Long Podcast or The Barry Long Archive. A link to the full recording will be posted here, when it is available.~From the archive: 📃 True Love – https://www.barrylong.org/archive/articles/19/true-love – True love is a knowledge: I love her. To know is to love, to love is to know. Not to know what Einstein's theory is, or how to give way at the next traffic lights, not that sort of learned knowledge. But to know because I truly love her. And although I truly love the woman, it is not the woman that I truly love finally, it is the principle, that demonstrates itself in her, that I love. I don't love anything else, I just love loving her...📃 Love, as it truly is – https://www.barrylong.org/archive/articles/26/a-love-that-endures – Most women's lovemaking experiences are fraught with frustration. Most of the experience of men consists of arousal with the prospect of ejaculation. Between her underlying fears, her reservations and hopes based on past experience, and his dancing excitement, also based on the past, there is very little chance of making true love between the two of them in the now or present. It will produce more emotion than love...📃 A love that endures – https://www.barrylong.org/archive/articles/26/a-love-that-endures – Love does not leave men and women. Men and women leave love...📃 The Purpose of Love – https://www.barrylong.org/archive/articles/28/the-purpose-of-love~Barry Long Answers is a new, free podcast that invites listeners into the intimate dialogue of audience questions and the spiritual master’s answer. These exchanges provide universal guidance to a range of everyday issues concerning man and woman. Each episode begins with a direct question put to Barry and his uncompromising response.  The series draws from the Barry Long Archive, a repository of over 20 years of Barry Long’s teachings.For full-length talks and extended dialogues, besides 'Barry Long Answers', the usual 'Barry Long Podcast' continues as a separate stream, with both free and subscriber-only editions available. Or if you'd like access to the full Barry Long Archive, the Barry Long website offers a subscription to this.The Barry Long Podcast: https://www.barrylong.org/podcast/aboutThe Barry Long Archive: https://www.barrylong.org/archive