How does resistance show up in your life? Perfectionism, procrastination, chaos, overachieving EP113

The journey to self-actualization is an interesting one. Quite frankly, it’s F’ing hard. Life is hard. As far back as I can remember I’ve wanted things to be easy... I wanted everything to come naturally. I didn’t want to work at it, I didn’t want it to be difficult, I wanted it to be a breeze. And when it wasn’t, I’d quit, give up, or chalk it up to, maybe I’m just not interested enough. Afterwards, I’d find something or someone to blame it on or I would say something profound like, it wasn’t meant to be, my HP has other plans, or I really need to focus on what I’m passionate about. Because everyone knows, if you’re passionate about something, it doesn’t feel like work, it’s easy! Oh how naïve I can be, LOL!! Of course, I would never admit to any of this. I would make sure I save face by giving the perception that I was totally owning the failure or by positioning the fact that I gave up, that it was to hard, or that I was doing it for all the wrong reasons in a way that people would co-sign my decision or feel some sort of sympathy for me. And here’s the tricky thing, for years I did not realize I was doing any of this. I’m actually still in the process of “figuring it out.” As if that’s really possible, lol! I thought I was a go after it kind of guy. I would say, if you’re not uncomfortable you’re not growing, be unconventional, or go against the grain. To be fair, there have been times in my life where I was unconventional, I did things that were uncomfortable and I went against the grain. At this season in my life and as embarrassing as it feels, I’m grappling with the fact that I really don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Maybe this is just another iteration of accepting my humanity, my shortcomings, and being ordinary. Resistance, guilt, fear... this my friends is what has been dominating my life lately. And if you can imagine, it doesn’t feel very good! As much as I would love to leave you with some profound solution, all I’ve got for you are two quotes that I’ve been grasping at. My man Wayne Dyer, there is a time for everything. There is a time for winning, there is a time for losing, there is a time for ease, and there is a time for struggle. And I can’t forget my man Willie D from the 12 step rooms in Texas, Everyone has their turn in the barrel. Instead of asking yourself, why me? How about asking, why not me? ❤️ you! P