How I Use My Silks

I didn't know until recently that a jockey's jacket is called their "silks".https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fyYJsu0uerQ_BefVdLRp0YETR4uWH7gEezCRs9fSWPg/edit?usp=sharingHow I Use My Silks i'm wrestling  with my impatience and seeing my  little baby dictator come out and try to be the one out in front  directing the parade i have to ask myself if i have any business getting twittlepated by a guy who does not fit the description on my dream board but whose arms call to me and in whose eyes i'd like to wander and lollygag and check-out  what species of plants  grow in his garden if the odds are not in our favor when you look at odds  through the lens  of what color collar you wear to work then it would seem  perhaps like   i'd be taking him  for a ride but no law says two people can't try for a loving connection and if they fall flat at least they were wearing their best intentions when they got  mud on their shirts  the mind has so many objections that my body is overruling the oxytocin level  just fumes now  down below empty but in my earnest heart i'm not using him if my soul is sincerely curious  about his in the past i've admonished myself for placing the primacy of me before considering  kindness for another and i've suffered from bad-person-itis as a result and i won't do that again  where i can help it that trust in myself is a hard one  prized possession and i'm proud of it it's hard to pick up a rider from atop my high horse and so i'm doing my best to be aware of how i use my silks to smoothly slide by someone sideways and not stop in front of them to let our hearts peer into each other so i've got that i'm keeping an eye on my constant tendency  to jockey  for the best position but out in front i'm looking out for my good girl putting one foot before the other walking out her door and onto the street where she's bound  to meet someone if only she won't bludgeon them with her scepter  before things get a chance  to get going