How Long Should You Actually Last in Bed? The Answer Will Surprise You | Ep. 172

In this episode, I'm going straight at the myth that has quietly wrecked the confidence of more men than I can count: how long you're supposed to last in bed. Spoiler — the benchmark most men are measuring themselves against isn't based in reality. It comes from porn, locker room exaggeration, and years of silence between partners who never actually had the conversation. I break down what the science actually says (the average is about five to six minutes, not 20 or 30), share a real client story, and explain why the real problem isn't your body — it's your benchmark. I also cover what women genuinely want from sex, why performance anxiety starts in your head long before you get anywhere near the bedroom, and practical steps to feel more present, more confident, and more connected with your partner.In this episode:00:00 Hook & Podcast Introduction00:55 The 20-Minute Myth — Where It Comes From01:55 What the Research Says About Sex Duration02:50 Why You're Struggling With Pressure, Not Performance03:35 Real Client Story: Shame, Avoidance, and Breakthrough04:20 What Women Actually Want in Bed05:10 Ad: Firm Tech Max PR05:35 Redefining Good Sex From Scratch06:20 Practical Tools for Control, Presence, and Connection07:10 When to See a Doctor or Sex Therapist07:35 Final CTA and Outro Want a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today’s discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don’t miss out!Karen Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:Email: [email protected]: https://www.taboototruth.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruthYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcastKaren Bigman, a Sexual Health Alliance Certified Sex Educator, Life, and Menopause Coach, tackles the often-taboo subject of sexuality with a straightforward and candid approach. We explore the intricacies of sex during perimenopause, post-menopause, and andropause, offering insights and support for all those experiencing these transformative phases.This podcast is not intended to give medical advice. Karen Bigman is not a medical professional. For any medical questions or issues, please visit your licensed medical provider.Looking for some fresh perspective on sex in midlife? You can find me here:Email: [email protected]: https://www.taboototruth.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/taboototruthYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@taboototruthpodcastSubstack: https://karenbigman.substack.comTake control of your pleasure with my Pleasure Playbook, filled with tips to help you connect with your body and enhance intimacy. Download it now at www.taboototruth.com/pleasureplaybook.Want to enhance intimacy and confidence? Check out my curated products page at https://www.taboototruth.com/shopGet 15% off the Max PR from Firm Tech with code TABOO15 at myfirmtech.com