How Lying To Yourself (A Little) Can Improve Your Relationships and Make the World Feel Less Insane | Shankar Vedantam episode artwork

EPISODE · Sep 29, 2025 · 1H 11M

How Lying To Yourself (A Little) Can Improve Your Relationships and Make the World Feel Less Insane | Shankar Vedantam

from 10% Happier with Dan Harris

Anyone with a passing familiarity with Buddhism will know that "delusion" is rarely, if ever, mentioned in a positive way. In fact, the Buddha included delusion (aka: confusion about the way things really are) on his list of "the three poisons." The whole point of meditation, per the Buddha, is to uproot delusion -- along with greed and hatred. Only then can you be enlightened. My guest today is here to valiantly make the case that delusion -- or self-deception -- has an upside. Many upsides, in fact. While he concedes that self-deception can, of course, be massively harmful, he argues that it also plays a vital role in our success and wellbeing, and that it holds together friendships, marriages, and nations. Understanding this, he says, can make you happier, more effective, and -- crucially -- more empathetic with people with whom you disagree. Shankar Vedantam is the host of the popular podcast and radio show Hidden Brain. His latest book is called Useful Delusions: The Power and Paradox of the Self-Deceiving Brain. In this episode we talk about: the many ways our brains filter and alter our perception of reality why we evolved for a robust capacity to lie to ourselves and how his research on delusions has colored his view of the chaos and confusion of our modern world.    Join Dan's online community here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel   To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris   SPONSORS:  Bumble: Thinking about dating again? Take this as your sign and start your love story on Bumble.    AT&T: Staying connected matters. That's why AT&T has connectivity you can depend on, or they will proactively make it right. Visit att.com/guarantee for details. Odoo: Discover how you can take your business to the next level by visiting odoo.com. Modern management made simple.  

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